Please be serious.
I have been in a relationship for over five years, married for three and we dated for almost two. The problem is, I think it was a mistake we got married in the first place. We have nothing in common, and I am not physically attracted to her anymore. I thought we had a good relationship, but it really isn't. She is the type of person who doesn't seem to ever be happy, she hates where she lives, she hates her job, she hates not having a ton of extra money to blow on things, and I feel I always have to tip-toe around her not to set her off. We have had so many screaming knock-down, drag out fights, that I have lost count, and I just don't know what to do any more. I am miserable, but know that divorce isn't always the easiest answer too. We have tried consuling, and it doesn't seem to get us anywhere. She was on anti-depresents for a while and things were better, but she learned she can not be on them and get pregnant. Now she wants a kid, I don't think I do..
2007-01-18 07:08:11 · 16 answers · asked by jman1542 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is always a touchy situation. If you think you can make it work, then try harder, pray about it, get your butt to church and really give it everything.
If not, then remember that life is too short to spend it being unhappy. You deserve to be happy, she deserves to be happy. If you love each other than work together and discuss this and figure it out together.
However, do not drag a child into this situation when you are unsure about things. Maybe she feels or senses that you are having these doubts and thinks that if she gets pregnant it will fix everything. A lot of women think this way sometimes, but it won't fix anything. Children are wonderful, but they are another person to take care of and more stress. If you are already fighting, then why bring a child into an unhappy home?
Hope this helps...hang in there....I know it is tough!
2007-01-18 07:21:17 · answer #1 · answered by CPA2B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for sure don't let the kid thing happen! Get her back on the meds-fast. You two need to have a very serious conversation. Or better yet, if they end up screaming matches, I would write her a serious letter so she could read it over several times. Then it will sink in, and she will come to realize just un happy you are. How you just decided this after 5 years is beyond me! If you were to bring a innocent child into this mess, you two would be creating a set up for child abuse! It does take two to make or break a relationship usually. Good luck!
2007-01-18 07:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A kid will NOT fix your marriage. Do NOT bring a child into a house with the sorts of problems you are having. Make sure you don't get an OOPS! That happens so often....I've seen it done. (Not myself, I don't have kids.)
Do you honestly think there is hope for your marriage? Do you honestly think that you and your wife can grow to mutually respect and love each other again? If your answers are no, then move on. If even one of those questions is a yes, then stay and see what can be done. (But don't bring a baby in this world until YOU are certain the child will be in a happy and healthy home.)
2007-01-18 07:28:38 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bringing a child into this situation will be a big mistake. Children won't solve to the problem, they will only add to the problem. The two of you need to sit down and really talk about YOUR relationship with each other. Marriage is not easy and anybody who says it is LIES!! But it is worth it in the end. It's worth all the hard times as well as the great times. You both need to learn to enjoy each other. Try doing something nice for her like making a romantic dinner or some nice at home pampering. When my husband and I feel distant or feel like the stresses of our work lives and children are coming between us, We buy junk food, send the children to bed early and watch our favorite movies and pig out then by the time the movie is over, he is holding me in his arms and we are one again. I hope this helps you both out and Take care.
2007-01-18 07:29:44 · answer #4 · answered by ga_gyrl91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look dude, this is kinda hard, but if your not happy with her, and she never seems Happy, and your not really attracted to her, you should get out, before you two f@#k up a kids' life. If you tried to make thing work and they haven't, it just isn't in the card for you two to be together. Even though you may not want to, maybe you should just go on and get a divorce, if not for you, for the kid you two would bring into the world. Plus, if she's on anti-depressants, and she's not taking them she could be a harm to herself, you, and other around her.
2007-01-18 07:16:15 · answer #5 · answered by soldier slim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are not the answer for this marriage. Counseling maybe. Drugs defiantly, if they help her mood, she should continue. If you have nothing in common there is not much hope. You have share some common interest to build a relationship on.
2007-01-18 07:16:42 · answer #6 · answered by Mike S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a child is the absolute WORST thing you could do! If neither of you are happy, get out! Maybe you can both find happiness elsewhere. She doesn't need to be anyone's mother with that kind of attitude!
2007-01-18 07:15:21 · answer #7 · answered by Bev 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
come across a woman and date her yet for the sturdy motives like in case you beloved her continually or some thing. besides the undeniable fact that ensure that you do get to appeal to close them as firends previously letting her into your own existence. make positive for her to study about the abusive father section. also in those challenge you want to inform someone your father is thrashing u and ur mum because it continually start up as beating then some thing undesirable will ensue later. Do some thing previously it truly is too late.
2016-11-25 01:46:11 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with your feelings such as they are, please do not get this woman pregnant. it doesn't look too promising that your relationship is going to last with this woman and if you have a child, you will be involved for many years to come.
you also speak about having to tip toe around this woman, think about it--WOULD YOU WANT A CHILD TO HAVE TO DO THAT TOO?. if you have tried all other options and it doesn't work, get out before you "accidently" get her pregnant.
no child should have to live with a parent or parents who are unstable and have anger management problems.
2007-01-18 07:17:48 · answer #9 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what comes with marriage. U do love her. U been with her for 5 yrs. Dig deep and find away to bring the love back. Don't give up like other couples do. Be strong and she will do the same.
2007-01-18 07:14:20 · answer #10 · answered by jayfrezzy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋