Everytime I make suggestions about our future my husband rejects any idea that I come up with, but he never comes up with anything. Even small suggestions. I suggested that we make a grocery list and buy everything all at once. He says he does not need to make a list for the month. I suggested that we buy a house and he cancelled on the loan officer 3 times.
I told him to get a good job. now he is fired
2007-01-18 06:54:22 · 19 answers · asked by what? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's a power struggle... and he's acting out like a spoiled little kid... I'll bet there has never been a resolution to any argument you two have ever had... it's the old addage.... insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results... sounds to me like you've made up your mind about your "suggestions" then get defensive when he puts his two cents in. What's wrong with your marriage is a lack of communication or rather a lack of constructive communication. write him a letter... it will give you an opportunity to explain thoughtfully and coherently, don't make accusations... or use examples of past behavior... use that blank sheet of paper to start a new chapter. a marriage is an equal partnership based on communication, compromise and understanding. Your question appears to indicate that these are lacking. step into his shoes... look at the relationship his parents had... People make general assumptions about how they see their relationship working based on how their parents relationship. See his side... then review your expectations. a grocery list as a major issue? Told him to get a "good" job? yeah... those fall from trees. So he looses his job...maybe he's trying to find that "good" job. Buying a house? when he doesn't have a "good" job? Step back... If you love this man should it matter what he does? Good Luck
2007-01-18 07:12:59 · answer #1 · answered by alex b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been in the situation with an ex. nothing was ever good enough and the things that i suggested or wanted to do were never important enough to her no matter how important they were to me.. here is what you need to look at.. if you have any dreams or goals that want to accomplish, you might want to step back and look and see if this frustration is even worth it all. another thing you can do is just talk to him.. when i came out the blue and just asked my ex why she was being so difficult, i got the best answer that i could have desired... she said that she has never had anyone treat her good until me and she did not know how to handle it and she has daddy issues (meaning she never lived up to his expectations)... i dont know if your hubby has been in abusive relationships before or if he has daddy issues, but i hope this works.... by the way, for me, her incesant behaviour got to be too much for me to deal with amongst other things
2007-01-18 07:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by hardscout69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really expect your husband to get interested in a grocery list?? Maybe you nag too much and to retaliate, he blows off the important things. Maybe you should stop telling him what to do and start being more loving, supportive and caring.
If I sat down and told my husband we needed to make a grocery list he'd think I'd gone mental.
2007-01-18 07:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't want to contribute the things needed to make a good marriage, not mature enough, doesn't want the same things that u want, isn't real organized and doesn't see a need to be. but the lack of a job would worry me a bit. doesn't seem like he is good marriage material, and u can't do it all by yourself, u need the right partner when u want the right things in life, can't achieve your dreams with someone who doesn't want what u do in life. he will only frustrate u and eventually love will fly out the window.
2007-01-18 07:13:24 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest an unbiased, 3rd party, professional, opinion.
He definitely is rebelling against you for some reason. It appears no matter what your opinion/suggestion, it will be wrong...
And apparatnly he'll go out of his way to go in the opposite direction. Just out of curiosity, just once, try suggesting the OPPOSITE of what you feel/think.
2007-01-18 07:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like he went into marriage expecting all the fun but doesn't want the commitment and doesn't realize that marriage is alot of hard work & commitment.
2007-01-18 07:04:11 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband does that. I just find a way to make him think that it was his idea, then he's all excited about it. Works everytime!!
2007-01-18 07:08:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your'e still with him? Why? You don't need him to make you do bad, you can do bad all by yourself. Take care of yourself, don't wait on this person to take care of you. No one competes you but "You!" Never sell yourself short, you are worth more than what he's giving you.
2007-01-18 07:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run, Forrest!
Either he is incapable of working as a team or he feels like you're nagging him and doesn't want to be controlled.
2007-01-18 06:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband is what is wrong with your marriage.
2007-01-18 07:08:21 · answer #10 · answered by AmyB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋