caring home where they could get better treatment???? i mean they had never walked in your shoes...and NO ONE KNOWS WHAT GOES ON BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.... I know it is very difficult to take care of someone especialy if they are brain damaged...i would put someone in a home...i feel it is best for all involved...what is your opinion??? honest answers PLEASE!!!
2007-01-18 06:41:11 · 15 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Most realistic people would not condemn you for that.
2007-01-18 06:44:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
People wouldn't condemn you no, people there will get proper treatment and honestly you need time to live your own life. As long as you visit them frequently and don't just drop them at the first sign of escape, and I say frequently whether brain damaged or not they do tend to build relationships with people and understand some situations and may feel neglected if moved to a home (depending on the level of brain damage and if they need to be in a home they're probably quite) what im trying to say is you can't just abandon them and visit them every weekend or so for an hour to make your self feel ok and not neglectful you still have a responsibility to them. It'd depends on your motives are you just plain sick of it or do you honestly think they can receive better care in there because.
2007-01-18 14:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never want to put a loved one in a home, but when faced with the reality of 24 hour care for someone who cannot care for themselves and may not even be aware that you are caring for them, it is sometimes best to take their needs into account over what you want. They may need more specialized care than you are able to give them. As long as you don't just dump them in there and forget about them, then you know that you are doing what is best for them. If others around you can't accept that then that is their problem. I certainly wouldn't condemn you for it.
2007-01-18 14:54:36 · answer #3 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do in life is your best. You're talking about a very tough decision, but after you've got all the information about your loved one and the home, etc. you know what has to be done. And you do the hard things to accomplish it.
The thing to remember is, what other people think doesn't matter. If they have a legitimate interest, such as family members, you try to keep them informed, get their input, even get their help. But if someone decides to "condemn" you that's their call and there's nothing you can do about it. People show their true colors when the going gets tough. You can forgive, but you don't have to forget. But mainly, REMEMBER...you did the best you could in the situation, and how people decide to react to it is beyond their control. Afterwards, you'll know who your friends are.
2007-01-18 14:51:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say just make sure the home is reputable and do tons of research! Otherwise, you are right...no one knows what is involved in caring for someone else like that. I personally, could not see myself putting my parents or husband in a home later on down the road. But until I am actually put in that situation I couldn't say if I wouldn't not do it. (did that make sense?)
2007-01-18 14:50:57 · answer #5 · answered by lonestar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your loved one needs round the clock care then its ok. If they need attention, and a few sacrifices on your part could allow them to live at home people might not understand. I think people also consider the fact that even in the best care center, some elderly people are abused.
2007-01-18 14:46:38 · answer #6 · answered by helplessromatic2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the person can no longer care for themselves, the only options are paying for in home care, or putting the person in an institution that provides care.
An old friend of mine has a wife who is alive, and not on life support, but she is technically brain dead. She lives at home, and someone comes in to care for her when her husband and/or family is not present.
Its really up to you - in home care is expensive and emotionally draining... and an institution is usually much safer (if you find a good one)...
Just my .01
-dh
2007-01-18 15:07:20 · answer #7 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would only do it if I truly felt that I exhausted all other options and could not care for the person to the extent he/she would need. I know I wouldn't want to be thrown in some geriatric ranch when I reach that age, so I'd do my best to keep the person at home first.
2007-01-18 14:45:55 · answer #8 · answered by CrackityJones_83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Putting someone in a home is a hard decision. The problem arises when the care isn't as it seems.
You need to be an active partipant in their care. Suprise visits are always due.
If it were my loved one......spying devices would be in place.
I know it sounds radical...but I've seen mistreatment....even from the most highly praised caregivers.
2007-01-18 14:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by Tracey LA 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It would be difficult for me, personally, but if I saw it was doing the loved one no good and was detrimental to me and my family, I would do it. I made a living for an extended family, including a substance abuser-alcoholic son, another son who was dying at the same time, and a grand-daughter with severe mental health issue, caretaking them all, too.. It almost killed me. Ended up broke and half crazy. Tune out judgments from others. I ended up enabling son and his daughter, not helping them or myself.
2007-01-18 14:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I looked after my Mom for a couple of years. She was mentally incapable of looking after herself. It totally ruined my relationship with her.
She now lives with my brother but I can see how it is destroying him, wrecked his marriage, as well.
So I totally know where you are coming from. There is a reason those homes exist.
So don't let anyone make you feel bad for making an already difficult decision.
2007-01-18 14:54:31 · answer #11 · answered by puckbunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋