He's starting to complain about little issues...like "nothing to do, it's so boring..." looking for reasons to boat off or get divorced. He said to me that we should spend less time together, that way, we'll miss eachother more..." we just got married...for christ sake!! I still miss him when i'm away from him and can't wait to see him when i get off work...we hardly see eachother, to be honest! What do I do? I don't want to throw this away.
2007-01-18 05:32:32 · 18 answers · asked by freetofly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How old is this guy? Tell him how you feel. You didn't hire on to entertain him, you are supposed to be life partners. He needs to grow up!
2007-01-18 05:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by Bev 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear this. I know over 50% of the marriages end in divorce. I've been married 3 times. If someone has it set in their mind they want a divorce it's going to. I'm sorry I'm not saying to go to counseling.. After 1 marriage of 15 months, 1 of 12 years & 2 sons and the last 1 of 5 years. It's too easy to walk away. This is one thing that is killing our nation. The family unit is almost gone. People don't have the morals that other generations had. The children more than U do. I'm going to send you a site or two to help you maybe.
www.divorceasfriends.com
This site name says it all
800familylaw.com
U can call for counceling
I hope this helps you. Keep faith in God you'll be fine.
2007-01-18 06:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by Blues Man 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When one of the partners is looking for an escape after only 5 months of marriage, I hate to tell you, but things do not look good for your future. If he does not want to seek counseling, it looks even worse.
Being newlyweds, you still should be rushing home to each other after working all day, have sex (sorry for being blunt) before dinner, and anticipate going to bed early.
It sounds like your husband is regretting the decision of marriage, possibly because he had to give up his "freedom". If you two did alot of things outside the home, with friends, etc., and you don't now, maybe he is feeling the pressure of being "tied down", and looking at this as a negative. Remember, communicate openly, its the only way that you will overcome obstacles constructively.
If he refuses to discuss your problems, and continues to insist on spending time apart, separating, divorcing, maybe you should grant him his wish early into the marriage, before large assets come into play, before you have children.
Sorry to sound so negative, it has to be difficult for you, you seem to be in love with your husband, and there is nothing more heartbreaking when its is not reciprocated.
Good Luck.
2007-01-18 06:02:23 · answer #3 · answered by deanie1962 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may not believe into going through counseling but that is the only way that can save your marriage try talking to him express how you feel inside tell him this is really bugging you. Tell him that you do not want to get a divorce and believe me worse things can happen when a married couple gets a divorce. you can log onto to this link on the internet it worked great for me and my husband.
eharmonymarriage.com
Give it a try and good luck
2007-01-18 05:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by Melody-Lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only five months?
that is very tough. Something isn't right. It could be that your husband regrets the marriage, and maybe married you for the wrong reasons. It just doesn't look good. Are you guys having enough sex? Is it good? Are you both satisfied?
Unfortunately, I think the best solution is to get out now before you invest and waste more time, or before you complicate matters by having a child with a man who has fallen out of love with you. He doesn't love you. That much is clear.
2007-01-18 05:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by Jack C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first year of marriage is definitely the most difficult. It's a shame that your partner is not open to counseling as it can be quit beneficial. Perhaps try and go out on dates as you did prior to being married and put some spice and excitement back into this relationship also. Best of luck, and you can attend for counseling on your own if you are so inclined.
2007-01-18 05:38:17 · answer #6 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It would be a good idea to go to a marriage counselor. You should go yourself, even if he won't go. Search through activities in your area that you might enjoy together. Try to get involved at church, or a group that does activities that you like. When he complains of being bored, you might point out that he could think of something for you both to do.
It might be good for you to read Why Men Love Bit**es. Guys are usually more attracted to independent, busy wives. You mind find some activities or clubs to join.
2007-01-18 05:38:52 · answer #7 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it seem like its your problem and ask for his support in going to counseling. (Maybe say you have abandonment issues?) Maybe he wont feel so insecure about going. Tell him you want to give him space and trust but don't know how and a counselor will help.
Trust your instincts though. If you don't think hes serious about the relationship maybe you should go to counseling by yourself to work out what you should do about it.
2007-01-18 05:40:19 · answer #8 · answered by ☺☻☺☻☺☻ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very sad. Your newlyweds! Maybe he got married for the wrong reasons. He's not interested in counseling,he's not interested enough in the marriage to fix his problem. Maybe,especially if you dont have kids,let him go,cry your eyes out,surround yourself wth a good friend and do what you can to go on.
2007-01-18 05:38:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHY doesn't he beleive in counceling? That is a lame excuse. SOunds like he has already checked out of the marriage. If he doesn't believe in you guys, how can you? If your solution to save the marriage is counceling and he refuses, make him come up with a solution. "Spending time a part" is NOT a solution.
2007-01-18 10:04:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe he kind of regrets getting married. Sorry to be so blunt. But the good news is that it probably has nothing to do with you. He is just panicking that he just decided to be with one person for the rest of his life. I bet he is young? Divorce him, he doesnt deserve you until he grows up.
2007-01-18 05:45:59 · answer #11 · answered by babyj248 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋