How do I get rid of my fear of being alone so I can live on my own?

Question

I have been with same abusive guy since I moved out of my parents house so I've always had someone with me to take care of me. Now I have divorced him but I am still living with him because I am afraid of being alone and living on my own. I want to move on and live my own life and be single and take care of myself and live on my own but I can't seem to get rid of this fear of being alone. How do I get rid of it?

Answer 1

go to ur parents house for a while. then later u can go live on ur own. maybe u should get a pet. that;ll keep u occupied. ^_^

Answer 2

That's a hard question, but the way I see it, you only have a few options.

1)stay and have no fear of being alone but fearful of him
2) leave him and learn how to do for yourself
3) move back with your parents for a short while, regroup you finances and look for a better place to live
4) run into someone else that will treat you better
5) or just learn to understand there is nothing wrong with your being alone and independent and that you can make it on your own because you have your own self worth, you know your an intelligent person and can be creative and do without a man to dictate how to live your life.

Thing is, men and women both, do not need the opposite sex in their life to make things right. It is much better to want someone than need. The wanting refers to sharing life, not the needing to just make ends meet

Good luck to you :)

Answer 3

I have that fear too - always have. My way isn't the best way, but it worked for me. After FINALLY leaving my abusive husband after a very long marriage, I immediately found a new guy. Of course, I was lucky and found a wonderful man right off who loves me dearly and whom I love with all of my heart, but you have to be extremely careful not to fall into another bad relationship. I'm one of those women who needs a man around to feel secure and loved. I don't like making all of my own decisions and am much better off in a couple situation. We have been living together for nearly a year without even so much as a difference of opinion!

Like I said, this isn't necessarily the best thing to do, but it's how I coped. I just don't like being on my own in the world. I stayed married way too long because of my fear of being alone.

Answer 4

So...what exactly are you afraid of? Your only fear should be remaining under the same roof with Bluto. It is a big wonderful world out there...if you never learn to be happy alone, you probably won't be happy with another person either. Take the leap, you won't be sorry. If you don't like being totally alone, get a pet. A dog or a cat can be such good company, and will also give you something to cafe for besides yourself.

Answer 5

Submersion. Get a real support group, friends, family, and even a pet or two. It takes an emotionally charged person to admit that they are afraid, so you are headed in the right direction. But first, get out. Start going to church, make friends, (most churches have a singles group, you do not have to make friends with the fellas, because in effect you are focusing on yourself), and give yourself freedom. Realize that the only thing that you are responsible for is you and what you do. No one should be responsible for you, but you.

Answer 6

Pray, I know it sound hard to do and i don,t what your religion is
but God will listen now matter, he see everything you do anyway
just ask him to help you with the spirit of fear,and to release it
from your body in the name of Jesus, please TRY!!
you have a blessing, and that is why the devil don,t want u
happy, pray, and ask God to release in the name of Jesus
you will not fear, no no re worry, as u do that do it everyday
and the more you talk to him you will began to feel so
much better and become able to live alone you will be come
more independent in your life, I wish you well that everything
work out for you because it WILL just Believe and Not doubt him
trust him with your life and i guaranteed you succeed this test
trail and overcome and conquer and then one day your
testimony can be the blessing to someone else. YOU CAN DO
IT BELIEVE in yourself Jesus is in your heart and he love you
no matter no one tell you Pleeeease try it for yourself and
you be at peace with yourself I wish u the Best you can do it.

Answer 7

How about finding a roommate, or staying with a friend? That might be a good first step. Find a group that you can join for activities, through church or through another type of group. Get busy, then when you get your own apartment, you won't be alone very much.

Answer 8

well...i have several suggestions. first get a place of your own. second...get a pet. it could be a cat...dog...fish...bird...just another small animal living with you. make sure that you are close to your friends and your family. think about it this way...in this world...you are never alone. you may be lonely...but you are never alone. there will always be someone else here.

Answer 9

BE LIKE NIKE AND JUST DO IT! WHAT IS IT ABOUT BEING ALONE SCARING YOU? MONEY, FAILURE? WHAT? WAKE UP ONE MORNING AND GO APARTMENT SHOPPING FIND ONE YOU LIKE SIGN THE LEASE AND MOVE IN. THE FIRST WEEK YOU ARE THERE HAVE COMPANY COME OVER UNTIL IT'S TIME TO GO TO SLEEP. THE FOLLOWING WE HAVE COMPANY COME VISIT EVERY OTHER DAY UNTIL YOU'RE ABLE TO DO WITHOUT COMPANY AT ALL. BUT LIVING BY YOURSELF IS A WONDERFUL THING. IT'S ABOUT GROWING UP.

Answer 10

Please stop making an excuse, just move, why oh why would you want to stay around a person who is abusive to you. Just do it that is the only way you will overcome your fear, do not give your ex a pair of keys to your new place.

Answer 11

hi amber this is ashley and my mom had a boy friend like that he his her all the time she was scared to be alone to what she did was think go stay with a friend dont date for a lil bet like my mom did but then my mom turned gay and now she has a girl friend and she ant afried anymore