My husbands ex-wife...?

Question

said she needed to speak to my husband about their son late Monday night and said she'd rather do it in person because she knew he'd be upset. He said no and called her the following day, basically she wanted to tell him that she is taking him to court to up his child support and is also filing a notion for sole custody of their son. My husband ended up hanging up on her after trying to rectify the situation. She said she needs more money because (their son has a medical condition) WIC will be cutting his food off when he turns 5 in December and she will be putting him in school also so he will need clothes and supplies for that. My husband offered to just pay for it all but she refused and replied by saying she will let the court decide. This is big for my husband and our family, we can barely afford the $300 a month we are giving her now (we are 2 months behind right now.) This woman has no job and lives with her parents and my husband barely gets to see his son because she makes it

so hard. According to their divorce decree he isn't allowed overnights and must visit his son in his ex-wifes hom unless he is well enough to go out for day visits. He doesn't get sick all that often and she still won't let him take him, he has to visit with his son in his ex's home and my daughter and I never get to see him because the ex-wife and I don't get along. My husband loves his son dearly and his ex knows this. I am always there for my husband, especially when someone is trying to hurt him to get what they want. She has only gotten worse since my husband and I started seeing eachother. Be fore me my husband got overnights and took his son everywhere . What do we do and for one child how much can they up the support? How much do you pay in child support?

And what are her chances of getting sole custody?

He hasn't kept any record of what he has paid her. He's always paid her cash regardless of what I've said which is not good. He will now be giving her checks.

My husband roughly makes $2500 a month and our rent is $1000. I do work but I know I won't be included in any of this but will they take into account that he has a family (2 others) to provide for other than his son?

She allowed him to go behind because she 'understood' our financial problem. She said to pay her when we could.

I hope this is the last detail, sorry this is so long! We live in Florida.

Answer 1

This is what u do. Tell ur husband to ask for joint custody and visitation rights i mean if he is well enough to go to school then he is well enough to spend time with his dad outside the home I hate to say it but she is a trifling b**** she is still in love with ur husband and she is trying to hurt him not realizing she is hurting her soon more. When u go to court let the judge know that she doesn't work and she lives with family members. Flip the situation on her and let the judge know if she can't afford to take care of him that u and ur husband will take care of him temporaily until she can get urslf together and if that doesn't work then u press child support against ur husband too. that way it will lessen her payments b/c u'll have a case against him and the money will ccome back into ur house.

Answer 2

Sorry, but I am going through a situation regarding child support myself. I did not give birth to my child, but to me, regardless, she is mine. Her mother is deceased and the father is alive and quite well and healthy, and remarried. He promised to pay support and hasn't been. He can stand up in court and say he paid cash, but, that would be a lie. I've never asked for more than what the court ordered, years ago, although I could certainly have used it. This may not be the answer you wanted to hear, but it is the answer I am giving you. It sounds like your husband has supervised visits, otherwise he could take his child for a visit outside someone else's home. And, if that is the case, there is a reason for the supervised visits. The court thought it best and took everything into consideration, believe me. I can tell you from experience, school clothes cost a bundle, as do school supplies, extra costs like school pictures, school lunches, field trips, and all the other things. When my child starts school, it costs me well over $500 for just one month. I did without to make sure my child had what was needed. But it wasn't just that one time only. There were trips that were very expensive that we couldn't afford. There were a lot of things lost out on. When the ex wife called wanting to speak with him regarding his child, he should have spoken with her. He chose not to, until it was convenient for him. Is your husband paying support for the other kids, and is he paying by check? How many children do you have, and are they taken care of? Just remember, one of these days, it could be you asking a court to get him to pay. Unless you have actual proof that he has paid her cash, which is very hard to prove and he knew that, then he hasn't got much of a leg to stand on. His son being taken care of is what the court is going to look at, and if he can't prove he did, and he's behind, which you said, he's lucky not to be facing prison time. You don't say what the medical condition is, but it must be fairly serious. Doctor and hospital bills are not cheap. Don't you think this lady would like to have a place of her own? Asking for an increase in child support can only happen every few years. You usually can't do it a month or two, or even a year, after the original order was decreed. You said he was two months behind now, but, child support usually doesn't do much to someone that is only two months behind. There's much more to this than you are telling.

Answer 3

You are not over reacting.. Although he has financial responsibility for his kids, it should remain just that. Of course the ex wife would probably want to have him back but talk to him frankly and tell him that you don't like it. Honesty is the best policy. If he truly cares for you, he wouldn't want to hurt you by communicating with his ex wife other than financial matters. Do you have an ex husband too? If you do, ask him how he would feel if you are doing the same thing?

Answer 4

Ok first off I never heard of making the father come visit the son at the house; that is ridiculous unless he is on supervised visitation because he abused him.

2nd off have you gone to court? Has the court ordered him to pay 300 a month; and she has full custody? Every 3 years here in florida you can ask for an increase in support but the judge has to rule it.
NEVER GIVE HER CASH especially if your boyfriend has not gone to court and they have ruled her as the custodial parent; always have a paper trail. If there is no court order pay her nothing because chances are the judge is going to put him in arrears from the time they stopped living together. Believe me i know; it happend to my boyfriend.

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stress in regards to being behind. If that is the case and you have gone to through the court he will get notices in the mail saying he is 15 days late and needs to pay- if not all it is going to do is build up arrears. When it gets to a certain amount they will suspend his license, try to garnish his wages, which could be up to 52%

Has she filed for contempt? I wouldnt worry too much about him being behind it is only 300 a month so you owe her 600. My bfs child support is 560 a month so i know where you are coming from.

Sounds like my boyfriends ex's youd be suprised at how many money grubbing vinidictive biotchs there is out there.

I really wouldnt get a lawyer its a waste of money- and they probably wont do anything for you anyway.

Answer 5

The child support percentage is 20% for one child, 25% for two. They will base the percentage amount on your husband's total gross wages and give him credit for living expenses and if your husband has any other biological children with you that will drop down the percentage on his child support as well. He needs to send all child support payments through a child support registry or to whatever agency that he needs to remit payment to. As far as the supervised visitation that can be modified to a place other than her home with her parents. Tell the courts that you all need a neutral place because of conflict beyond your control. Everytime the ex does not abide by the court order you all need to make a police report to document the incident and build a case on her for when she does take you all to court. Also pay all past due child support as soon as you can. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

What a MESS, let her take him back to court. It just might back fire. It is not his fault that the government is taking the boy off of wic. She lives with her parents, does she work? Sounds to me like it would benifit your husband if she did take it to court. He is only half of the boys parents. She is the other half. She is responsible for some of his requirements. Do you receive support for your daughter or is she your husbands? I have two children and I receive less then 70.00 a week. When he pays. lol However he really does need a record of how much child support he is giving her cause in court the judge tends to favor the mother in that issue. Is the 300.00 a month court ordered? If so has your family situation changed since the? Theres alot of issues that hast to be considered in a situation like this. If he does buy his school clothes, keep all of the receipts. If he is suppose to get visits then she is obligated to abide by this..........
Good luck and God bless

Answer 7

Catch up on the support payments at once, even if you must borrow the money to do so. Then get a lawyer to handle this for you, as you will get ripped if you don't. The Legal Aid Society will help you if you really can't afford a lawyer, or perhaps steer you to a good, reasonably priced lawyer whom you can afford.

I'd say you can't afford to NOT have a lawyer on this one; those monthly pay-outs will go on for a long time, and the visitation rights your husband is being denied won't suddenly be granted.

Answer 8

I don't know the laws regarding all of this in Florida. So please contact your attorney on this as soon as you can. I question-why is she wanting to raise the child support? Is she spending it all on the child-or on herself? Child support is for the child-for the child's needs. As for school supplies, in FL, not sure, please check with the school in the district the child will be attending-and find out from the school the child will attend, what the school supplies, and what the parent's are to supply. Yes, school clothes are needed, probably a backpack, and possibly some emergency supplies (kleenex, water, snack non-perishable foods) with the child's name on them. Maybe what else will be needed, crayons, pencils, glue, etc. Yes, I would think the courts would go according to the income of the household, and how many dependants, etc. on figuring child support. The child should not be put in the middle of the parent's squabbles. Ever! Possibly consider having the father's attorney suggest having a "middle ground" meeting place (half way between homes) to pick up the child, and return the child with each visit. I just thought back to way back when for me----PLEASE-get a notebook, and document every visit. Date, times, where the father and child met, where they went, what they did, who they saw, etc., Make sure the visit starts on time on his part, and ends on time on his part. Make sure the child is fed, etc. when the visits occur (if around a meal time), etc. Maybe get the sizes the child wears off the current clothes, and have a spare set of clothes for the child at the father's home. Unless there is evidence of abuse, neglect, etc. from the father's side from visits, (not sure about FL laws again) there should be no reason for the visits to be with her at her place every time. You and the other child should have the opportunity to see and visit with the father's child as well. That is another concern the father should bring up with his attorney before going to court-that is why checks, money orders stubs, etc. and documentation helps. I wish you all the best. Take care.

Answer 9

She may be just saying that. The only reason that there would be an increase in child support would be if he starts to make more money. She is using the sole custody argument to put pressure on him but since your situation sound more stable he may well be able to take over the primary custody is she did file for that, especially if your husband ahs a medical plan he can add the son to for the medical expenses.

Answer 10

I can't blame her for taking him to court if he's already behind on child support. Also, if he was only given supervised visitation then there were grounds for that.
Remember that you are only going to hear his side of things and that in every situation he's going to make her out as the evil ex-wife.
Why should she trust his word to pay for school things and such if he can't even pay court ordered child support? You need to step outside of this situation and look at it from the perspective of a non-partial third party.
Also a custody case is going to cost you ten to fifteen thousand at least so think long and hard about battling with her over this. He already looks bad being behind on his child support. And remember that child support is based on his income only, so they can only take a certain amount of his money.