How to handle workmates?

Question

I've started a new job and the people i work with are really not my cup of tea. They are all seem to be a bunch of bitches slagging people behind their backs forming little gangs.
I'm becoming increasingly isolated by one worker who seems to be turning everyone against me, by crawling after everyone. 9 people in the team.
My theory is i never crawl or suck up to anyone ....im just not the type. What do i do?
The person who is turning everyone doesnt like me and i cant stand them. I've tried blanking him (not speaking to him) but this just seems to make it worse because he gets on so well with everyone else. example... sitting in a car waiting on a job with this guy. I say to myself im not going to start the conversation.......15mins later not a word said sitting in silence. Why should i always start the conversation...im sick of it. The guy is a nob. I cant get another job because their are none. I just dont know how to win. Seems to me im losing the battle.

Answer 1

Simply adopt the policy that when you are at work it is to work. Limit communication to work essential communication only.

Ignore the slagging off that goes on in the background, but if you hear someone say something about you that you know is wrong confront them immediately. Do not back down and do not skulk off into the corner rather walk up to them and say "You are very wrong in what you said. You need to stop talking about things that you know nothing about and let everyone here concentrate on their work." then just walk away. In this way you are not crawling or sucking up and not accepting their c.r.a.p. either. Do not explain, plead with or attempt to soften the blow be very up front and honest in your words but without bringing your side of the story into it at all. You only need to say they are wrong you dont need to explain how or why they are that will only encourage an argument.

And dnot bother to try communicatng to everyone else about how you arent what this person says you are...... chances are they already know it.... and they too dont know what to do with this person and their horrid attitude... Just be yourself.

Answer 2

Communication, chum! Those other folks are only getting one side of the story: the icky side from that chap. He obviously feels a need for power by attempting to reduce the credibility of others, namely you.

Communication does not mean sucking up. It means clearly getting information across to the people who need it. A negative working environment is hard to deal with... and being the silent wall is not going to help your case. Try this: when things get negative, try to find a genuine positive, and make it the focus of the conversation. This will involve talking! (*grin... just taking the piss a bit*) Comment kindly (and sincerely) on the positives of the people in the group. USE HUMOUR!!!! A little laugh can go a long way.

Now... I'm sure Pollyanna is not one of your chosen descriptors, but I think a little sweetness (the real deal, not that pseudo-sugar stuff) could go a long way.

Think of it this way: "An apology for the devil: It must be noted that God has written all the books."

If you want to get your ideas across, do your job well, and deal with the nob, you are going to have to put yourself out there. He's got all the air time at present! ~ Best wishes!

Answer 3

This calls for a mental readjustment on your part. Sometimes your brain screams that you can't do something but you're going t have to do it anyhow. As you said, there are no other jobs. It's sort of like having 3 doors to open and they all suck.

Ok, the technique for dealing with this is to develop a reward system for yourself. Be pleasant for 5 minutes. Your reward depends on you. A candybar? A cup of expensive coffee?
Then keep a smile on your face all day. Is this worth a new shirt to yourself? Do a bit of sucking up. Then go home and have a whiskey.

Eventually the job market will open up again or you'll find they have changed toward you.

Answer 4

Sometimes a work environment is just so bad you have to leave it. Work should have more satisfaction than the money, and problem coworkers can make your life miserable.

If this isn't an option, or if it isn't that bad, then I recommend that you react differently. Just ignore all the interpersonal garbage that's going on. Just focus on being a team player and totally supportive coworker to each of them IN SPITE OF what they're doing. My guess is that after a while, they may come to appreciate you. Then you'll have fewer problems with them.