I wrote this a couple weeks ago, it's about this girl I used to love. What makes a good story for a poem?
I love being with you,
Something says that it's true.
Is it love?
Is it desire?
Is it becoming a flaming fire?
I'm excited at knowing you.
There's something deep,
Behind your eyes of blue
It's not the outside,
It is what is within.
I love you for who you are,
To me, you are a bright shining star.
No matter what you do,
I will always love you.
_______________________________________
What do ya think?
2007-01-18 05:12:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
Trite, been said before. Try using words that are different because despite what you think you know, love is nothing like this. And don't talk about the eyes, that's the most banal thing you can think of.
2007-01-18 05:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by johnmfsample 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gag me with a spoon! Trite and really tedious. Poetry is all about illusion and imagery. Real poetry. This is a little rhyming ditty of no consequence. It's also about meter. You obviously don't know what that is, and you, along with all the rest of the kids here, think poetry is this reeking garbage. It's not in spades. This stinks big time. You asked.
2007-01-18 13:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry but I agree with Kitty
2007-01-18 13:37:47 · answer #3 · answered by Videofan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good poem for a freshman or soph in high school.
2007-01-18 13:23:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
POEMS DON'T HAVE TO RHYME - YOU ARE TAKING AWAY FROM YOUR EMOTIONS TRYING TO DO THIS AND ENDING UP WITH SOMETHING VERY CLICHE'
2007-01-18 13:20:50 · answer #5 · answered by autumn 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think this is a really good poem.
2007-01-18 13:21:24 · answer #6 · answered by meaghan jean 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
love,congrats!
2007-01-18 13:16:40 · answer #7 · answered by ganesh n 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋