My husband is not a very romantic person but he is very thoughtful and always listens to me. We have an understanding relationship and we seldom raise our voices. Anyways, I like romance movies, novels, writing poetry, taking bubble baths, having a candle light dinner and such. I don't know why but he doesn't enjoy any of those things. Anytime I rent a romance movie (the other day I say The Lake House) He either doesn't watch or gets bored out of his mind watching. I know that it is unfair to change someone but how do I make him understand that romance is something very important to me? I've told him before many times but I think the problem is that he doesn't know how to be romantic lol. What should I do?
2007-01-18 04:47:08 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They few things we have in common are watching action movies/shows, going to the zoo to see animals, visiting our parents and going out to eat at good restaurants.
2007-01-18 04:58:10 · update #1
I don't know if that helps lol. But is there a way that you can somehow make those things romantic?
2007-01-18 05:00:08 · update #2
HEY, ARE YOU SEEING MY HUSBAND? lol You have just decribed my husband and me. It has been 3 years and no he hasn't changed and yes I long for all these things too. And I think they do know how but they would rather make their self happy. And they wonder why we get divorces or find a man that is all those things and long for him. ummm???
2007-01-18 04:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't having a good relationship with your husband romantic?? Count your blessings! If you like bubble baths - take them; like candlelight dinners - make a dinner and light the candles. It is very difficult to find a person who is thoughtfull and understanding, and you seem to have found him; cherish it.
I'm sure your husband has things he wishes you liked... Football, computers, cars? But I'm sure he doesn't complain if you don't like them, he just gets his buddies to watch football with him. Some things are nice to have, but are not worth obsessing over.
I don't know about you - but I find anything that my husband and I do together "romantic". Even if it's just spending an evening at home on our computers. The fact that he's there with me makes the event "romantic", period. He would be mortified if I suddently started talking about bubble baths and candle light dinners; he hates the "sappy" stuff. But I just can't think of anything MORE romantic than having a loyal and respectful husband whos company I enjoy so much. Thankfully, he feels the same about me, and doesn't get offended if I don't watch Startrek with him (I hate this show, he loves it). Enjoy what you have, seems like you've got the important stuff covered.
2007-01-18 13:16:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are finally getting it. women are raised to be romantic and men aren't. By the time we men realize that women want us to be romantic it's too late because we don't get it. never have, never will. The only guys who get romance are GAY. I don't mean that as a bad thing I am just stating a fact.
If you want to make tons of money write a book on how to be romantic. make it in a form where you can choose from different categories and end up romantic. like (A) weekend getaway at her favourite hotel then add (B) romantic dinner at the local French restaurant and (C) flowers and wine in the room when you return. and if you want to go over the top (D) her favourite sappy movie so she can cry all night when the guy in TITANIC dies again.
have lots of mix and match choices for us and I get 10%
ps. for a guy a good romance movie is "For love of the game".
2007-01-18 13:20:59 · answer #3 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys need action with their romantic movie like the movie Speed. Building a fire as apose to candles is more romantic to a man. Jacuzzi, much more romantic than a bubble bath. Try to work some of these things into your life. Even I thought The lake House was a boring.movie. My husband and I used to go out onto the trampoline after the kids were in bed. It was very romantic under the stars for me and it was fun and exciting for him. Definition for Romantic in a guys mind is .......Fun and exciting. Anything else puts them to sleep. zzzzzzzz
2007-01-18 13:08:46 · answer #4 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you alreadyknow, you can not change a person's personality. i am a female and I am not soo much into romance. I personally dispise romantic movies. I am into horror, thrillers, high volume drama flicks. I don't care for flowers (they die- whats the point) My point is every guy I have been with has been more romantic than me and hey what can you do. Take what you love about your hubby and love that about him. So what if you have to initate the romance...as long as he is at least willing to participate...its all good.
2007-01-18 12:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you can't change any body on anything they have to be willing to do it on there own......Because if you try to change someone they usually go back to there old ways and makes maters worse. They have to be willing because if it doesn't come from the heart then really whats the use anyways? If you talk to him about it and he still can't get it maybe you are the who has to keep romancing him. I don't know.......sorry i am no help.... I feel for you.
2007-01-18 12:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by daydreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change someone ..... The only one you have the power to change is YOU.... You set the romantic scenes and he just may pick up on it and join you and return the romance.... Teach him how to be romantic since you dont think he knows how.
2007-01-18 13:01:02 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Susan, you can't force someone to be romantic. I have fallen asleep many times during so called "romantic" movies. I find them very boring. I would rather watch "Gladiator" or "Little Miss Sunshine". I like funny and manly movies.
2007-01-18 12:55:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you do the things he like? Do you watch porn with him? Do you go to baseball games? Do you go to strip clubs? Fact is that men and women are different. You each need to give and take. Don't agree to do the things he likes unless he returns the favor. And if you won't do the things he likes, well then I think that's fair.
2007-01-18 12:54:00 · answer #9 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to speak to him about how you feel about certain things, maybe He'll pretend to like it, but you can't change a person. He has to change because he wants to, don't force him. That can hurt the relationship
2007-01-18 12:58:55 · answer #10 · answered by keshh23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋