My husband moved down the street, three blocks, and is involved with someone in the neighborhood. It has been nine months. I don't like being this close to him. I can move to another neighborhood. Now I live across the stret from my kids' school and my husband is still paying the mortgage (gult?), The rumor is that he dumped her but I still run into them separately. Anyway, I am told that I should just live rent free for as long as possible. He is also paying all school tuition. But it is hard running into him and the woman and all of the people in the area who know. I want NEW friends!
2007-01-18 04:37:08 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do what any woman would do....take the FREE Rent.
2007-01-18 04:45:31 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know the hurt of seeing them together . I have been there. The next time you see him or her hold your head up high and smile. Never let them see the hurt. If you were not the cause of the divorce you have nothing to be ashamed of they do. Your friends know the truth. You can make friends no matter where you live. But the ones who are by you now know the truth and will be more supportive. I stayed in my home of 30 years , I did not give up my good friends and nieghbors. Hang in there it does get better. Do not feel guilt about living there free, you deserve everything you can get from a cheating husband. You have to learn that being the nice guys does not mean to let people walk all over you. Good luck and God Bless
2007-01-18 12:51:40 · answer #2 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start divorce proceedings. The money you receive in the settlement will help get you started again. You don't have to live right across from the kids school. Your X will also have to pay child support and spousal support. He is getting off cheap right now. He will have to refinance the mortgage and give you half the equity. You will get half the bank account, child support and spousal support . I would say thats a good deal. You can move, make new friends, your kids can stay in their school. Don't let your husband play single any longer. Make a decision that will help you move forward.
2007-01-18 13:18:37 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Suck it up and take hold of your life. He shouldn't be paying your mortgage and by allowing him to do so you're basically saying that you aren't strong enough to make it on your own. That must be a nice boost to his ego. Time for you to be independent. Whoever said you should conitinue to live rent free is probably a gold digger. The two of you should be splitting the expenses for the kids.
realistnola: I'm curious as to why you would say I must be a second wife?? I've never been married in my life nor do I plan on it. You say I'm money hungry? I'm far from it. I pay my own way including my mortgage and would never even dream of expecting someone else to pay my bills.
2007-01-18 12:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
know it does hurt to see him it would be enough for some to run away and move, but u are getting free rent, and school is close. just try to ignore them, stay where u are at for now, save some money and than plan the move. get some new friends, find some new things to do, and keep your free rent, don't let your fears chase u out of your home. happened to me just that way, left my nice home, and have regrets now. cost me dearly. today i know that i was a much better person than the home wrecker, that instead of avoidance of a situation as i did, if i went back today i could handle seeing them. just takes time to get through the hurt, after u get your self worth back it will be a piece of cake.
2007-01-18 12:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay there as long as you can.
Move when you know you are ready.
Taking the kids from school is not always a wise decision. especially if they are well adjusted.
If and when he does decide to file for divorce, you should be awarded the house anyway.
He still will have to pay child support.
Dont inconvienience yourself or your children.
He made this mess and you are only trying to stay above water.
As far as seeing the other woman, who cares.
She should be the one who feels awkward.
Dont give your ex the satisfaction to let him know this disturbs you. Of course it does, but dont share it with him.
Be strong and hold your head up high, you are not the loser here, they are.
2007-01-18 12:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford to pay your house payment without his help I
would suggest moving a distance away from him.. There are
public schools for the kids which doesn't cost anything and do
give a good education. I believe staying where you are is going
to keep you from moving forward with your life. Rent being paid
isn't everything if you are not happy. Who knows he may be
just as uncomfortable seeing you as you are him. Talk to him
and ask if he would be willing to help you with your children's
tuition as he is doing now if you moved to another location.
2007-01-18 12:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by Karen K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why dont you stop think about your self and think about the kids youre live rent free and live by the school and why do you know so much about your ex leave him a lone its over put the cup down go and find a job and make new friend dont you think its think to end this sense less married and move on where your self respet aer you both try to sale the old say we stay together for the kids
2007-01-18 12:58:52 · answer #8 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough one, because you have kids involved. you're trying to do whats best for them and whats best for you. I don't think him paying your way for the rest of your life, will ever set you free. You're going to constantly feel like he is doing everything for you, but taking your kids out of their home will be hard on them. Are you working right now? If not, you should think about getting a job and taking care of some of the bills yourself. That way, you won't feel tied down to him. You should begin dating (if your ready) and if you aren't, go out to the movies and dinner with friends. If your having trouble meeting friends, get a gym pass, I'm sure you'll meet some great people in no time. I'm sure it hurts you to run into them constantly, I guess you'll just have to weigh out the pros and cons for you and your kids. Good luck and I'm sure everything will work out ok.
2007-01-18 13:08:32 · answer #9 · answered by JKlein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay there and be proud to hold you head up. He's the one who screwed up. I would not want friends like these anyway. Just because you live in one neighborhood doesn't mean you cannot make friends in another area.
2007-01-18 13:02:16 · answer #10 · answered by rickeber31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some who feel sorry for you i'm sure and then there are some that are laughing and saying that you are the lucky one. And the ones who are talking major crap about this other woman and your ex. So... I think I would stay in that house and reap the rewards of being a woman scorned. And who cares anyway about what all these people think? I always say," its mind over matter, I don't mind because they don't matter".
2007-01-18 12:48:32 · answer #11 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋