I think NOW would be good- our son is 2-- and I think it would be a perfect time! our son ... at age 3, would be a great big brother, and the age gap would be good! ... but my husband says NO NO NO...
not for 6 years..... ummm.... I dont want the oldest to the "babysitter" rather than the playmate.
How do we make a decision?
2007-01-18 04:25:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
My husband and I are actually going through this same thing right now. We have a daughter that will be 4 in March and I think we are now ready to try for the second this year. There will more than likely be a 5-year difference between the two and I think it will be perfect. She will be able to understand a little more, be able to help out and enjoy helping, and she will just enjoy the whole experience more.
Believe me, you don't want to wait too long because my sister and I are 10 years apart (not purposely) and we were more distant than we were close. We just never could share things and even as we grew older, she got the jealous attitude because I was still living at home and getting what I wanted and she thought it was more than what she had. You just have to weigh all the options.
Good luck though!!!
2007-01-18 04:31:29 · answer #1 · answered by ashlei2302 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that you must decide together. It all depends on your wants/needs/and abilities.
Can you afford another baby now? Are you ready for more diapers and late nights? Do you want to do this 5-6 years from now when you have an independent son and a life that is easier (even if not completely your own again)?
My husband and I thought a close age gap would be a good idea. When my daughter turned 1 we started trying again. By the time she was 20 months old, we had our twins. It was hard at first, but now I think it was worth it. 18 months later, I think it was the best idea for us. The 3 yr old is out of diapers and the twins will be potty training soon. The oldest likes to play with her brother and sister. And what's best is that in 2 years, my oldest will be in kindergarten and the twins will be in preschool. That means I'll get some time all to myself for a while.
2007-01-18 12:44:19 · answer #2 · answered by Dawn D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I have been there for both situations. My daughter was 5 when I had my son. She was a great help and did alot to help me. And she really understood what was going on. My son is now 2 and we just had another baby who's 3 months now. My son was used to being the baby and the first week was really hard. But after that and he realized that the baby wasnt going anywhere he's been great. He'll get diapers and help in whatever he can. I love the fact that my 2 boys will be close in age. But having an 8 year old in the house with 2 small kids is a blessing to. So either way its nice. Maybe you guys could compromise and meet in the middle. Say another year or year and a half.
2007-01-18 12:49:56 · answer #3 · answered by Maw730 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally up to you. There are pros and cons to both. I personally would have two close together, so that they are close, in age, and you are still sort of in baby mode. You won't have to really get used to doing it all over again. The downside is having two very young children at once, which I am sure would not be easy. If you wait, you don't have two babies in diapers and the first born may be able to help you out a bit, or least they will be older and able to entertain themselves better. It is a personal choice, however I do think 6 years is quite a gap. Maybe comprimise at 4 years apart.
2007-01-18 12:31:53 · answer #4 · answered by karina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have three children, they are spaced 3 yrs apart - and I think it was perfect for us! :)
I will say in a 6 yr age gap your children most likely will not be very close in the *bonding* since. They will have so many differences - and most likely will grow apart when they are older. That is my experience anyways.
My sister is 8 yrs older than I am. I love her, but we have nothing in common. She went to college, married etc way before I did. It depends on what you want in YOUR family.
Your 6 yr old will be in 1st grade when you are just having another baby. You will not be able to participate in many things with your 6 yr old while he/she is in school etc because you will have a small baby at home.
You will have your hands full with the baby and your older child may feel a little resentment as your baby is getting all of the attention when your older child will need help w/ homework etc.
Just some food for thought.
2007-01-18 12:31:38 · answer #5 · answered by Patti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boys are eight years apart. They are great playmates and friends. Older children love to entertain babies and also help out mom with every little thing. I will admit there are times when I ask myself why I waited 8 years. But when my newborn arrived I remember why. Because it's hard to take care of a newborn and a toddler at the same time. My oldest goes to school so I get that extra sleep and time for the baby. he is also more independant and can do alot for himself. I have a lot of respect for the one's taking care of children so close in age.
2007-01-18 12:40:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, my brother and I are 18 months apart and its the best thing. I totally agree that when there is such an age difference, parents do tend to use the oldest one as a babysitter, and of course the younger child would want to play with the older child, but the older child would certainly want his own time, and its hard for little kids to understand that their older sibling wants to play with his friends and not them for a while, and this can cause the younger child to feel not wanted. My aunts kids are 5 years apart, and its really hard for her, cause her oldest kid wants to play with friends and doesn't really want to hang around, or have his 6 year old brother follow him around. Hes almost 12 and a 6 year old isn't always as fun to play with. Its hard, but make the decision together.
2007-01-18 12:35:51 · answer #7 · answered by Proud Mother 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is 5 and my other son is due next month. We are trying to find ways to prepare him for this. We talk about him being the big brother alot and he seems to like that. I think we waited a little to long but it's not so bad. My brother and I are 4 yrs apart and never got along until we were at least in our 20's.
2007-01-18 12:35:44 · answer #8 · answered by crystald24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our kids are 4 yrs and 3 mths apart.. It was when our son was 3 that we seriously didn't want him to be an only child, but I knew that if we waited too long they wouldn't even be able to play together... Our son is now almost 5 and our daughter is 6 mths, and they are the sweetest bro and sis ever!! He is such a good big brother!! I say 4 yrs is a good age gap... Good luck to you!!
2007-01-18 12:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by Kat0312 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like me....my son turned 2 in November and we are thinking of starting to try...perfect age gap....not only will he be a babysitter but it would be like starting all over again...diapers, sleepless nights....baby proofing...all those things would be long gone and I dont want to revert back, So now is the time..keep me posted and good luck!
2007-01-18 12:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by MylittleMr. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋