My 12 month old won't sleep in crib..?

Question

....And I have tried everything. I tried the cry it out method several times but it just doesn't work for her. She literally throws up after crying so hard. As soon as I pick her up (and yes I know you are not supposed to pick them up) she goes right to sleep. She has never been able to self soothe and is completely attached to me. She does take her nap in her crib so I know it isn't an aversion to the crib itself. She never sleeps through the night even when she is in bed with me she constantly tosses and turns. She has a soft blankie that she keeps with her but as soon as I try to leave the room she goes crazy. I am not good at letting her cry and I even have some difficulty understanding why she needs to 'cry it out'. She is my 4th child and the only one we have had this problem with. Hubby is very supportive and tells me to do whatever I think is best. Does anyone have any better way of getting her into her bed at night? Thank you in advance for your help.

Answer 1

I saw this technique work on either Nanny911 or SuperNanny...

Put baby, in her crib, lights down and door open.
Day 1-3 place chair right next to crib and sit (do not engage baby whatsoever including eyes) and stay until baby is asleep.
Day 4-6 before putting baby to bed, move the chair out of touching distance from crib and closer to the door; put baby down in crib; sit without engaging baby until asleep.
Day 7-9 move chair again (closer to door) without baby's knowledge; stay until asleep; do not engage baby

.....Continue this process until you are sitting out in the hallway for 3 days and the next day, no chair at all. It may take more/less time than indicated but the important thing is not proceed to the next distance until you have achieve success at the previous stage.

Other sleep strategies including developing a sleep routine can be read in the "No Cry Sleep Solution" -- sounds right up your alley and it worked for me.

Answer 2

Put her to bed half asleep. Her eyes should be heavy and nearly shut, but not completely sleeping.

She doesnt need to cry it out continuously for hours, but she does need to learn to soothe herself.

You need to stop picking her up once she's in her crib for the night. You can come in and talk to her, sit near her crib, rub her back JUST long enough to calm her down, or sit near her and shh-shh her. But dont hold her or rub her until she is asleep. The goal is to leave her alone to fall asleep by herself.

You might consider getting her a fan, this helps a lot of babies sleep through the night. Its a pain because she will use this as a crutch and never be able to sleep without it, but all things considered its easier to turn on a fan for the night than sit with her hour after hour.

You also need to make sure she is not getting too much sleep during the day, and not too little. If she's not getting enough sleep she will have an impossible time sleeping through the night because of the chemicals your brain releases when stressed by lack of sleep. If she's getting too much sleep during the day obviously she wont sleep well at night either. There is a balance.

Answer 3

My daughter was (well, still is) like this. I did not have the heart to do the cry it out method. Broke my heart to hear it, and so I let her fall asleep before putting her to bed. I'm paying for it now because she will not go to bed on her own. The best method that I've heard of (but obviously didn't try) is to put her in bed and sit next to the bed until she falls asleep. The next night move the chair a little farther away. The next night a little farther, etc. Until you are finally all the way out of the room. Don't know if it works, but seems the easiest on you and her even though it takes some time and dedication. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

I would continue trying to get her to sleep in the crib at night. What about a large stuffed toy pushed up against her back like it was you there? You could even get a music box or doll or something that sings songs CONTINUOUS as if someone were there singing to her. My daughter was the same way and what worked for me was I got her to sleep in my arms, layed her in the crib, right away started jossling her from side to side with my hand (like a rocking motion) and sang to her REALLY LOUD over her crying and she'd fall back asleep. Every child is different but try faking her out that you are still there. The key is for her to THINK you haven't left the room. Maybe leave music on all night. Sometimes if it's not too quiet, it quiets them because they can't hear themself cry anymore. Have fun experimenting! It's exhausting, I know, but you will find what works! I know, the sooner the better!

Answer 5

I had this same problem with my daughter, and it happened all of a sudden. She never slept with me, but once she feel asleep next to me in bed and from that day on she wanted no part of her crib. She would actually climb out of it and bang on the door(because she couldn't open it). What I did was get her prepared for bed, and then I did use the "stay in the room" method. It took some patience, but she eventually got better. The first few nights it took at least an hour for her to fall asleep and then she woke up in the night banging on the door,(more then once) but I stuck with it and the time I spent in the room became less and less and she stopped getting up in the night and now it has been only 2 months later and she sleeps in a toddler bed, goes to sleep on her own, and gets up only in the morning.
I do believe that some kids do have to cry it out, but is does not sound like yours is one of them. It only makes bedtime more upsetting for you and for her.

Answer 6

Our 12 month old never sleeps through the night and when she wakes up, typically needs help getting back to sleep...crying it out doesn't seem to work for her either. Recently, we have had success with a nightlight and having her room hotter than normal. Its probably 75*F in there right now and she has been napping for two hours. Is she teething or any of the other major uncomfortable possibilities? Good luck.

Answer 7

First of all, don't blame yourself. I'm sure that you know that all babies are different. Be patient with yourself and your baby. And if it takes a long time, then that's just what works for your baby. Now, my daughter is 8 months and she has never slept through the night. She also does not fall asleep in her crib. What works for us: I put her to sleep in the bed with me and when she is sleeping well, I put her in her crib. So far, it's working well. She is very attached, as well. Good luck!

Answer 8

I am sorry it might sounds crazy but do you have a mom? If you do let her help with that. When my sister had a baby she had same problem like you do and my sister being a young mother thought obviously wouldnt let her child just cry his *** off for too long when you really should. At age of 12 month i know it is still too early think that you might be spoiling her but really they know what they are doing. Their instinct is mommy mommy pick me up because they know you always will. It might sound harsh but the only way to teach them to sleep all night long is if you feed him last time around 9 pm then lay them down and once they wake up dont feed them anymore even if it was 2-3 hours later. 12 month is a year old, they still go by that 1-6 month habit of eating every 2-3 hours. When my mother start helping my sister with a baby and they got him on a tight schedule he finaly started to sleep full nights. Just walk off once she is crying....she will keep crying though and i know it is hard to walk off but she eventually will stop and go to sleep. Trust me on that. I thought i was not going to work but really it is the only way to show them that hey you growing up and I am not going to be holding you all night anymore. Be a big girl and go to sleep on your own. Try....you will never know it may work with her just like with my nephew.

Answer 9

Mine went through this about a week or two ago. It was really annoying.
What I did was go in, cuddle her, put her to sleep. She'd then wake up again and want to be comforted.
I started letting her cry for about 5 minutes, maybe ten. Then I'd go in, cuddle her and put her back to bed. She'd cry again, but this time I'd wait longer before going in and then cuddled her for less time. This kept up for about a week or so. Each night I waited longer and longer and cuddled her for less and less time. Then she got to the point where she would just crank for about 5 minutes and go to sleep on her own.
Try it and see if it works for you.

Answer 10

Put her down at bedtime. Let her cry it out for about 10 min...then go in and soothe her and calm her down, then do it again...keep doing that till she gets the message that its bedtime. She has figured out that you'll come in after so many times to get her. If she throws up...clean her up...change the bed or jammies (whatever gets covered) and put her back again. She will finally figure out that you mean business.