Ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years. We talk about getting married and having children all the time! I am sure I want to be with him, he sounds sure he wants to be with me. So what is going on? How badly can a divorce in your family impact your ability to move into that place? I am just asking because his mom and dad divorced when he was 15 and it was really hard on him. It took him along time to forgive his dad as he had been unfaithful during the marriage. I don't want to pressure him but come on 4 years? He is 36 and I will be 30 this year and I want to have children soon! Preferably after we are married!
2007-01-18 03:45:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He can't compare his parents marriage to what u guys have. Tell him how u feel, but don't push. Divorce can impact a child for a lifetime. It makes them have no faith in it. He may be afraid he will do the same thing to u. The best thing to do is to talk about it if he will. If he will not don't push it. U can't make him marry u. It has to be his idea. He will do it when he is ready. He still needs someone to talk to about his parents and this may make it easier to ask u to marry him. Not every marriage ends up in divorce. Good luck and may God bless u.
2007-01-18 04:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by Shery W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that divorce at 15 has impacted him more than he realizes. Basically you are going to have to put your foot down and make him choose. If he freaks out, then suggest he sees a counselor about his issues with marriage. He may never be able to really commit to you. Don't waste another 4 years waiting for him. Thank you for not having babies yet.
2007-01-18 03:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't answer very many of these hon, but this one does indeed have a solution..... hope this is helpful......
If he doesn't know you by now, he won't ever. And if marriage and children are the deal-buster, you, hon, had better find out soon---- at you age, your childbearing risks go up....
Prepare a little speech, even write it out and read it to him, so you make no errors.....
" I have something important to tell you, and I'd like you to listen carefully. No immediate answer is required now.....I cannot see my life without you in it, and I cannot envision what it would ever be like to be by myself. But now, my desire for a husband and a family and children and all that goes with that are beginning to be far more important to me than just being with you. If you are not ready for you and me to become 'us', then I need to know, so that we can part, and I can find a man ready to be my husband, and the father of my children.... I understand that the divorce of your parents left scars ... it does on any child....and life has no guarantees, but John, I do wish to be married, and I do wish children, and I do wish those things to happen with you. And I understand your reluctance, and therefore if marriage and children are not in YOUR future with ME then we need to each get on with our lives... each without the other...So, if I don't hear from you by________ I'll take that as a no to both marriage and parenthood, and then please don't call. If you do call, please have a date in mind... you and I have each wasted enough time. If you regard this as an ultimatum, it is..... Marriage and children are what I wish for the rest of my life, and preferable with you. If that is not to be, then I wish well"
Then, hon, get on Yahoo Personals, Match, and other internet dating services and find that guy.... If you are a lovely lady, you will have no problems finding a husband. In your ad be sure you state that you are looking to be married, and have children. Read the adds of women in your age group, and copy those you like. Have some great photos taken, and get with it.... 4 years is long enough if your goal was marriage and children.
2007-01-18 04:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The first response is right on. Tell him no more sex until you have a ring on your finger and stick to it. If he still balks find someone else. He may not want children either. You need to find that out. Having a child without marriage makes matters worse, so you are right to wait. it would only hurt the child.
2007-01-18 04:08:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is found in your own question: you wrote "I will be 30 this year and I want to have children soon! Preferably after we are married!"
He knows he can screw you senseless and knock you up before getting married - so what's his motivation to change status?
Don't let your biological clock keep making decisions for you.
2007-01-18 04:30:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you should get married but only if he wants and is ready too... If he is not ready for marriage then wait and date him and be happy that you have a wonderful guy in your life... He may need counseling to help him as well.... Is he open to marrying you at all?
2007-01-18 04:19:30 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have been in a mall in Hawaii (we lived there) and there replace right into a jewellery shop with a killer sale happening so we went in to confirm out some stuff. After paying for 2 matching necklaces he asked the clerk if the rings have been on sale too. She reported specific they have been and he advised me to p.c.. one. i did not truly think of he replace into severe so i chanced on one i actually enjoyed and tried it on. once I circled, he replace into paying for it. He purely appeared at me and smiled and that i had a mass case of butterflies. We on no account did the stable concept yet that variety into all we mandatory. 3 years later we are nonetheless so sickeningly in love and have been married for 2 years....*sigh*...that variety into an incredible day.
2016-10-07 08:31:19 · answer #7 · answered by rotanelli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him when his ideal time of his life to get married is, that will give an clue to something. maybe he doesn't want to get married until he's 40. but in my experience, if a guy is holding out on proposing, he's waiting for something, like something else better. you may just be his layover girlfriend until he meets his future wife.
2007-01-18 03:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
36 and never been married?
He won't buy the cow if you give away the milk for free.
2007-01-18 03:52:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i've been with my man for 5 years,so quit complaining!
only kidding,maybe he is waiting for what he considers "the right time".if you love him and are meant to be together,i'm sure it will happen one day.good luck!
2007-01-18 04:40:47 · answer #10 · answered by missy k 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋