what are the possible out comes that could happen if my family found out that my cousin molested me as a child? by the way im 13{it happened when i was little} he has a daughter and a son on the way . a g.f. and her daughter...and his gf's daughter is my friends kid also....she wont let him see her n he wanted me to testify agianst him in court..but ...im really scared.......i dont want this to happen to those girls{its messed me up enough} and he needs his daughter {my friend} but i dont know wut will happen if my family finds out.....
is there ne 1 who actually know wut im going through?
2007-01-18 03:28:21 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
God Bless you.. I am so sorry for what you have had to live with.
If you were my daughter I would say I would want to know. You are very mature to have the best interest of those little girls in mind. Keep them in mind and report his sorry a**.
Good Luck..
Write Oprah, and ask her for advise I'm sure she'd love to hear your story, she was molested as a young girl, she believes in speaking out.
www.oprah.com - send her an email
2007-01-18 03:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through....the most important thing is that you have to be strong about this. If you were molested, it is important to speak up, because the same thing could happen to other chidren, especially your cousin's daughter and gf's daughter.
It is hard to say what your family will do about this. I think they will support you and try to help you. On the other hand, certain family members might be upset or angry because they are surprised and don't know how to handle what they are hearing. Regardless, you need to be honest and tell the truth about what happened.
As far as testifying in court....your testimony will help if you can remember the details of what happened. Do you remember how old you were? Exactly where he molested you? How he molested you? These are the difficult questions you may be asked. i know it is scary. Just do your best to remember what happened.
2007-01-18 03:46:12 · answer #2 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're in a horrible situation.
The questions you've got to deal with (and no, we don't need to know the details) are
1. What did he do to you? How serious was it? Looking? Fondling? Rape?
2. Is this something that he's finished with and knows it was wrong and he won't to it again?
3. Is there any way that other people are still in danger from him?
4. Are things sorted out between you and him?
5. Are you awake to the fact that there's no easy way out of this?
If you report him, the way the system works his marriage and social life will be at an end and his children won't see him again.
And sadly, because you're the victim already, your family will be likely to hold the outcome of all this against you as the person who "destroyed" the life of the family.
What you've got to balance is the danger, if any, that your cousin poses to children, with the consequences to yourself of bringing allegations.
It seems to me that the reason you're thinking of getting involved in this at this point in time is to please a friend who has his own complaint againist your cousin's current girlfriend. I'm afraid that you're just being used and that you're going to be badly hurt by this.
You're going to find it very hard to get sane advice on this -- most of the people who give "advice" have either no personal experience of the system or are part of the system. Even trying to discuss the matter with anyone who's part of the system is treated as having reported it formally and you're right into the middle of it and can't draw back.
2007-01-18 04:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by Feinschmecker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing will happen to you legally. It is not as if you were of age and made the decision yourself to do this thing. Are you going to sit back and watch a man who molested you walk away from his record, and possibly do it to others in the family. over and over?
If your parents do not support you, it may be because they are shocked that they could have not even seen this. But it is still possible to get things set to rights. I was raped by a total stranger on the eve of my wedding. There was no way I wasn't going to report this, he could be out there doing things to others as well..... but the man I did end up marrying was very upset by the whole thing and felt as if I was soiled, and kept his hands off me for a long time. I am not going to lie and say that it will be a cake walk. But weigh it against this guys' repeated abuses of others. I could not be responsible for him getting away with it, and I doubt you can stomach it either.
Do the right thing.
2007-01-18 04:05:28 · answer #4 · answered by H2Ocolors 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it clearly and decide what you think is best. My guess is tell somebody about it. I had an uncle I lived with molest me, he had threated that he and I would get in big trouble for this so he told me to keep quiet, and that it would ruin my close relationship with my aunt (his wife). I stayed quiet because I was scared of him and what would happen if I told. Later on I found out that he had molested another girl and was being charged for it. If i hadent spoken up this wouldnt have happened to somebody else. Dont make that mistake. Be stong and stick with your story. One of my close friends also was molested by her uncle, she told her family and nobody believed her. He denied everything and it kind of runied some relationships. Do the right thing and tell somebody.
2007-01-18 04:35:19 · answer #5 · answered by Grace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to help all the young people, talk to the law, you probably wouldn't have to testify because many times they plead out, that's agree to some wrong doing and ordered into counseling. It helps dealing with the issue and lets others know what he is doing, and shames him into admitting his problem. As for you, try counseling to get yourself better, you're a victim and didn't deserve this to happen.
2007-01-18 03:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by Outside the box 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what you feel is necessary in this situation. If it still bothers you, "which it would me", I would get some help from a licensed Psycologist. Try not to let your fears take control of your life. Your family is there for you, no matter what happens. If you are concerned for the little girls of that man, then get them help too. Its better for your family to find out and this man to be stopped then others to get hurt. If you are worried that he could do it again, please!! let someone know.
2007-01-18 04:39:00 · answer #7 · answered by big pappy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are we speaking approximately being fed via a woodchipper like Gaear Grimsrud does to the Steve Buscemi character in Fargo?? i might take the woodchipper before spending 3 days with Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana.
2016-12-16 07:32:48 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I went through a similiar thing except it was my step uncle. I told my mom. I think you should tell and testify against him. His daughter doesnt need to be around someone like that. It can really do damage to some people. PlEASE....DONT let him get away with it.
2007-01-18 04:03:44 · answer #9 · answered by The BecaNATOR 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my sister. She is 18 now but this happened when she was about 4? It can hurt your family but balling it up inside can't be good eaither.. She told us and now there are problems between us and our cousin and aunt (her mom) but if it really bothers you a lot and your constantly thinking about it. Tell someone you trust
2007-01-18 03:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋