Help Im pregant - i need some advise plz?

Question

Im 25 and I am pregnant with a much younger boyfreinds child. We had been together for 1.5 years. I have allready had an abortion which was terriable last year because I felt then that he was not old enough. We split yesterday because I found he was cheating me, I have my own house, a great managerial job and my fellow collegues have all said they would support me. SHould I have it ? SHould I tell im ? Im a bit confused. Ive just got myself out of debt as well and I know that I will have to sell my house to get someting smaller I was planning this away before I found out I was pregnant. I dumped him because I found out her was with someone else who was a lot younger than him. We were happy so I thought but obvisouly not. HELP ? What do I do. I dont really want to go through an abortion again. Im getting older and I am independent, Thoughs plz. Should I tell him ?

Answer 1

just remember accidents happen but abortion is not a form of contraception

Answer 2

1stly only you can decide if you are in the right place and state of mind to raise a child. I think he does deserve to know evn though he cheated this is about the baby not your relationship. If you decide to keep the baby then give him the chance to be a part of that childs life providing he can prove himself responsible. And if he doesnt want 2 know then it is his loss and as u said u have lots of support from others around u and u do have a good job and there are plently of single parent families that are just fine. Even though you are probably still hurting from his betrayle he may b the 1person to help u through this dilema and i think the 2 of u need 2 get 2 the bottom of why his betrayed you. U mentioned the abortion u had before it could be worthwhile seeing a councillor (ur gp should be able to refer u to 1) u have to make sure that u are past the pain of the abortion so u are not thinking of having this baby to fill a void in ur life. If u do decide to have another abortion then that is your choice and nobody can judge you but u should rethink ur contracption plans for the future. By speaking to ur ex and informing him u are being the mature adult and it takes 2 to make a baby so there is no reason u shud go thru this alone. Good luck hun i feel 4 u x

Answer 3

First of all he is the father and he has a say in what happens with his child born or unborn. If the abortion you had a year ago was as bad as you said why would you put your body through that again??? My thought is you were responsible and woman enough to lay down and conceive a baby than be woman enough to step up and be a mother. People really need to stop looking for the easy way out of predicaments. Having a baby is a blessing yes it is hard and overwhelming most of the time and more often than not you just want to quit but all the good and love your child can and will bring into your life is well worth any hardship you might have. Just because the babies daddy is a creep and you need to leave him in your dust and don't look back doesn't mean you should leave your baby or decide not to have it. That baby will change your life but for the good. Forget the guy and go make an amazing life for you and your baby.

Answer 4

You have a good job and a house. You'll get Maternity pay for 6 month which isn't too bad. And then you can claim lots of other things that can help you till you want to return to work.
I'm starting work again now. I have an aupair who's looking after my daughter.cheap and flexible childcare :)
Your boyfriend: Tell him you're pregnant. I don't think any child should grow up without a dad or at least knowing who their dad is. but please don't get back together with him if he's cheating.not good to be together only because of a child.He could still see the child without being with you.
I don't see an abortion as murder. When I fell pregnant I wasn't sure. I was already married, but didn't plan kids for a while. Not an easy decision, but I'm sure you'll make the one that seems right for you! No one else really matters

Answer 5

Nobody can make these choices but you so im not even going to make a suggestion. What i can do, is tell you how i fell pregnant at 16 and my b/f didnt want to know. Im not against abortion in all cases but i decided to have my child. I didnt have much help and i didnt have a job or any money. By the time my son was 6 months old i had my own place. As soon as he was old enough for nursery i got myself a good job. I have been working really hard ever since and now he is 7yrs old, we have a house with a garden and 2 cats and i even managed to take him to disneyland. Evevrything iv done has been on my own. Im not saying this was the best way to bring a child into the world but if your willing to work hard for your kids, then they have as good a life as any other child. Being a single parent is scary at first, but you learn to get on with things and for me anyway, was the best decision i ever made. Good luck, no matter what you decide!

Answer 6

Tell him. No matter what happened between you two, the child is part him. He deserves the right to at least know that he has a child. Then let him decide what he wants to do. From what you wrote, I wouldn't expect him to support you though. He cheated on you and broke your trust. Do not trust him to come back and help you out. You need to do what's best for you and your child. If you cannot support a child (financially and emotionally) right now in this point of your life, then it would be best to either have an abortion or put the child up for adoption. Also, if your ex-boyfriend decides to help you with raising the child, do you trust him with the responsibility of raising a child? Do you want him to be the role model for your child? I think your child is more your child than it is his, so even if he wants to take care of it, as a mother, you have to decide what's best for this child. But, if you can support a child, the next question is do you want to raise a child from birth to adulthood? You already seem to have a plan if you choose to raise this child; you just have to figure out if you want it.

Answer 7

This is so weird I swear to god if you had a 5 year old I would think you were me. But anyway I was in a similar situation but he didn't cheat on me or do anything like that, he's just acts like a kid himself and I basically feel like I have 2 children right now. I was also scared the first time but I knew we were in love and either way there is no guarantee of what might happen in the future. You said you're independent so why would you end an innocent life (because of your BF), I am 15 weeks pregnant right now and we had some doubts at first, because honestly there's know one who's totally 100% satisfied with their financial situation you could always use more, but we said you know what as long as we're able to support our family we don't have to worry that we don't have a huge backyard, or a huge house or the car of our dreams for right now because we will in the future. And we're thankful for the things that we do have to raise our children with and really all you need is love. You should just be glad that you even have a job that you don't have to worry about what's going to happen when they hear you're pregnant they seem very supportive already, that's like half the battle right there. I don't even know if i'll have my job after I tell my boss, the 2 other ladies before me that were in my position both left for maternity leave and never came back. It's a bit embarrassing when I look at people like my mother who had to raise me and my brother by herself and didn't have that much money but she busted her *ss to do what she had to to allow us to have the lifestyles that she gave to us and the love that we needed. Then you look at people who are pregnant who have there sh*t together (I mean together together) and they're complaining about there situation not realizing how much worse it could really be. Men come and go, you should be happy you found out the type of person earlier than later, now you have alot more time to focus on the positive, you and baby. When you make a decision like that you're really choosing to sacrifice your childs life and you have to think about what is you're choosing over your unborn babies life, and is it really worth it, it can't be. If you have an abortion you'll regret it, remember it is a person inside of you that's depending on you to help it grow and eventually be born into this world, GOD had a plan for each and everyone of us as soon as we were conceived. This is horribly gross but maybe it's what you need to wake you up www.cbrinfo.org.

Answer 8

i was in a similar situation 18 months ago but my partner was simply mean to me and our relationship had simply run its course when i found out i was pregnant. I still wanted my freedom and was thinking about returning to uni, i had moved back home as our relationship had ended, but 18 months on I have a gorgeous son, and I am living on my own, and having a very happy life despite all my fears. it is very hard work doing it on my own though. I would never look down on someone for having an abortion, as i almost did and it is very difficult dealing with my ex. He never wanted my son and tried to bully me to have an abortion by saying I'd ruin his life if I kept him, but my answer was he should have thought about this before we had sex. we were using contraception but accidents happen, so he has to take responsibility. in fairness it took him a while but he's doing the right things now. remember, a guy can be a good father even if they can't be a good partner. i suppose the only thing you need to consider is whether or not you want your baby or not. don't spend time thinking about your ex's situation - let him deal with him and you deal with you. it annoys me how a lot of people are judgmental about abortion, if that is what you feel is best then you should have one. only you know all the ins and outs of your situation so you are best placed to make the decisions. it's your choice - no-one else's. if you consider your options carefully and make a decision and believe in your decision then you'll make the right choice. whatever your choice is, it will be the right one. No regrets - either way. good luck and let us know what you do xx

Answer 9

It does not matter how old your bf is, what matters is what u want to do? I had this happen to me, and it was horrible to be pregnant and single, but my son is now 2 years old, and have NEVER regreted having him. I booked in for an abortion, but couldnt go through with it. U r in a great position to have a baby, debt free, good job and support. The only thing u need to think about is whether u want a baby. Ignore those who say that u should have an abortion just because you are single, they have either never been in the position that you have, or they are not brave enough to deal with it alone. Dont get me wrong, i had people asking me why i wanted a baby when i was single, but it YOUR choice, and never have an abortion just because you are worried about what other people will say! Good luck!

Answer 10

Sounds like your in a bit of a mess to say the least . I guess your mostly hearing ( why didn't you use protection knwoing this had already happened once with him before ? ) but hey we all make mistakes in life ......... ( my opinion soly is ) ABORTION is NOT the way of getting otu of this ( beleive me ) I know , I'm 38 now and saw my best friend a long time ago go through this twice and now she can't have children and her husband wants kid's so badly . Think ling and hard please , think about the baby , it's the innocetn one here , don't think about yourself ( please ) ! Get a smaller house , so what life will flurish , you'll have this amazing cutie pie to open your eyes to everyday and hey men aren't everything !!!! this child will give you all the love you need and you will someday meet your Mr. Right and he will make a wonderful Step-dad .....I used to always ask for advise but never took it , I'm way older now , my huband is 7 years younger than I and I to thought maybe ( what if he isn't ready for ki'ds although he say's he is ? ) then we went through all the untying of my tubes since I'd had them tied at 27 hoping to nevr have anymore kid's from ( that ) Dad and then I met him ......... he was ready , mature and all has been bliss ...........

Please don't have an abortion and don't tell him .......why should you , he is way younger , cheating and obviously NOT ready .....do you really think he would care anyway ? NO !

Concerned for you and the baby ....................Tonya (:

Answer 11

Well I don't like abortions so I would never have one. If I were you I would have it trust me you will love it more then anything else in the world and once you have it the joy that over welms your baby will feel so great wiether or not a man is there. I got married 2 months bfore I had my lil girl and a month before I had her he cheated on me. I couldn't help but to thak him for the new joy in my life... We are still together we worked things out but I will always no matter what happends between me and my husband, be happy that he gave me the greatest joy. Plus since your independent you have a big thing going for ou. Also you should let him know so he knows what he is missing out on... Also he should support his child even if he isn't around so hit him up for child support you never know what may happen and you and your child may need that money