Can anyone make sence of this?

Question

my situation...
I am 8+ months pregnant and my husband and i are seperated. we see each other almost everyday (mostly because of baby stuff, classes ect.) and he still shows affection to me but he says he only wants to show enough affection and not to much to the point of us ripping each others clothes off. He wants to be a good husband but doesn't want to lead me on.
can anyone make sence of this?
also...we are seperated due to that fact that he wants his independance.
He also believes that all "our" problems will go away as soon as the baby gets here. that we will both have something bigger to focus on then what has happened in the past.

Answer 1

It sounds like your husband is afraid of harming you or the baby by having sex with you. He doesn't want to be tempted, so he has distanced himself. This is why he says your problems will go away when the baby is born.

It's not unusal for new fathers to feel this way. Your husband has taken it to the extreme by leaving, but that's what this sounds like. At this point in your pregnancy, sex is not an issue. You need him to stay close by--particularly if you live alone. Someone needs to tell him this, if you don't.

Answer 2

no,and stop letting him run over you if he gets away with this your life will never get better. I know the baby is the most important right now but a baby needs a mother and father he is sure setting off as a bad example he either has a girl friend or maybe even boy friend you never know these days, hes using you can;t you see that you better get some fight in you cause the next thing he may try and take the baby from you ,you need to start divorce proceedings and tell him if you want your independence you can have it,don't be a doormat please wake up for your sake and the baby.he's a jerk!hes no good husband he needs to grow up . sorry to be so hard on you but I HATE TO SEE SOMEONE LET a man mistreat anyone like that it makes me mad, hon get into some mental health counseling to help you deal with a person like that,and good luck with the baby hope he or she will be fine and healthy,.

Answer 3

If you honestly want a happy marriage, and family, then take my answer seriously and get a book called "The Secret to Family Happiness" It's a publication provided for free by Jehovah's Witnesses. It is a fantastic book full of Bible principles and great advice. I have studied a few times and you COULD NOT EVER find a better book. And it's not a big book. Very easy to read and understand. It even shows you were in the Bible each point came from so you can look it up and see for yourself. I highly recommend reading it. It's easy to get, and it's free like I said. You can give a donations if you would like, but it's not required by any means.

Answer 4

It sounds as though your husband is deluded in the fact that a baby is the answer to your problems. The baby will not solve things but instead be the biggest thing both of you must deal with from day to day. You need to find out if he is going to take any responsibility for the child that he helped bring into this world. If he wants his independence then he may be saying to you that you will have to raise the child yourself unless he does take some of the responsibility. The fact that you both are separated does not help things. Your situation is not one condusive to raising a child. You should more than likely put the baby up for adoption once he or she is born unless you intend to raise the child yourself. Usually men who want their independence will not take any responsibility for any child. Then again, maybe your husband is thinking he will raise the child separate from you. This is information you need to discuss with him.

Answer 5

Give me a break. Wants his independence. Gee I ought to try that with my wife. Yeah right. He wants to have you, the baby, the family and a little something on the side. Stop being such a sucker. Oh yeah, babies always fix all the problems in a marriage. That is why only 90% of the questions here are about kids ruining marriages. Wake up people.

Answer 6

No I cannot make sense of that, he wants his freedom eh? Too late for that now, he needs to be a man and stand up to his responsibilities as a husband and father. Sounds like he wants to have you in the background while he lives a single life. Having a baby does not solve any problems, if you or he has issues you need to sort them out NOW, before the baby gets here.

Answer 7

It sounds to me like you have one messed up husband. ;o( He should be there with you supporting you thru your pregnancy and not just when he thinks he should be but all the time. It's almost as though he's embarrassed to be around you so he calls this his little separation so he can be independent. Bad excuse. If he's a real man he'll take up his responsibilities one being there for his pregnant wife. Hope things change for your sake but he sounds like a mixed up loser. ;o( sorry but that's how i feel anyways.

Answer 8

fine time to decide he wants his independence, he must be cheating on u and doesn't want to make u think he is going to come home right now. but having a baby sometimes only complicates stuff and makes the problems worse.

Answer 9

He wants you, the baby, his mistress and the freedom to screw anyone else he meets - and he feels like his "warning" you that he needs freedom will let him off the hook.

My guess - you'll see less and less of him after the baby arrives. If he can't handle the stress of pregnancy and marriage - he sure as he!! can't handle fatherhood!

Answer 10

I am separated and feel the same way toward my wife (she's not pregnant). I feel that way because I love her and don't want to hurt her. We are civil and affectionate because I guess I feel that way I can let her down slowly as opposed to just cutting off all contact.