Relationship Issues...?

Question

Long story short...
My 16year old son has gotten himself in a pickle (hanging out a psycho chick) he is now dealing with the reprucutions.

My boyfriend of 4 years and not sure he can handle all drama of it and the possibility of our stuff getting vandalized.

He is not sure he can stay in this....he says he loves me but is starting to not like my son.

What do I do. I obviously choose my kids over any man but I also am new to my sons behavior and am dealing with it as things come along...never had a 16 year old before.

Any thought or suggestions would be great!!

Thanks

Answer 1

Your question is very vague. Perhaps you can follow up and give us some description of what your son's behavior has become since meeting his drama queen

Answer 2

Why have you lived with a man for 4 years, without getting married? This can have a very negative effect on your son. What message do you think it sends? If your boyfriend (who has enjoyed your pleasures for 4 years) can't deal with the drama, you'll have to let him go. Don't be surprised to see a positive change in your son, when this man leaves. For one thing, he'll finally get the attention he needs from you (you may think you've been attentive to the boy, but the boyfriend has most likely taken attention away from everyone else in the house).


Teenage boys can be difficult, so you'll have to start dealing with the problem. Is the father anywhere in the picture? If so, encourage him to get involved with his son. If not, you'll have to start being a father and a mother to the boy. Help him get through this latest pickle; and after that, start spending more time with your son. Get to know him, by talking to him (not at him) and listening to what he has to say. Also, let him get to know you as well. Pull him closer to you and hopefully you'll see a wonderful change in him.

You've been with your boyfriend for 4 years, yet he hasn't cultivated a positive relationship with your son. Surely, that tells you something about this man.

Answer 3

Your boyfriend should entirely stay out of it.

Your son is in a pickle because you are in a pickle. Moving your boyfriend into the house? What kind of relationship example is that? So now your son hangs out with psycho chick - why not? His mother sets a poor example of what a family unit should be.

As for you - I am not sure if you are serious by what you say about choosing your son over your man. You say it, but let's see if you will do what you need to do - either kick your bf out of the house until you are married or marry him.

Answer 4

it would help to have more details but one bit of advice I can give you, find a martial arts school that teaches dicipline as well as the martial arts. you can learn more about this by doing a search for atrium society online - try http://www.atriumsociety.com or perhaps org - I don't have the exact url at the moment -but it has been found that the program has turned hard core delinquents around with that help.
It is understandable that your boyfriend may not like your son if he is getting into too much trouble but on the other hand he should be willing to help you in this as well

Answer 5

first off, remember that these kinds of situations do not last forever, but while ur going through they seem to last forever. Your b/f needs to know this and one of the ways we see the strength of a relationship is going through difficult times together. Whatever your son is into he needs to have the reigns pulled in and get his act together. If your stuff gets vandalized report it to police. Help your b/f understand ur son, but you also need to see his side of this story. Dont give up---trust me things will change. A little praying might not hurt either. blessings

Answer 6

find out all you can about the girl,and let your son know whats going on and you are very concerned about the company he's hanging with.
have your son talk to some-one.find out whats going on inside his head.
it's all typical teenager stuff,but it won't hurt to get to the root of the problem.
I've got 2 teenagers 16-17 and we have issues but i found some-one they can talk 2 and we've hashed out alot.
just be open minded and listen to whatever he has to say and talk it all out. if his grades in school has dropped,attitude change
and change in friends for the worse,you need to get started now,
and don't wait.
as far as your relationship goes i would talk to you man and tell him your son comes first and you need time to help him,and you would like for him to be by your side in this,or call the son's father in for support.you have just as much right to be happy,but your son needs you .

Answer 7

What you should know its not right for a guy no tto like you because your son is a bad kid or just sometimes needs help in some stuff. r u sure he loves you as much as he is saying he does? Family is soo much important in anyones life but as for some people it is diffrent. It might be hard but you got to think why he dosnt like your son? Maybe he just dosnt love you as much as you think you need to think bout that family means alot to some people and im sure it does for you. I say that if he dosnt like your son then hes comming to you. i dont kow but it sounds like hes trying to tell you somethin.

Answer 8

u are wise that children come first...if the b/f needs to move on--so be it--u have 2 more years with this child and then he will be gone...b/f can wait for u or he can move on...but yes children come first...now when the child is 18---then u get to consider life for u

Answer 9

educate your kids.... talk to them