We have been divorced for over 10 years. We have a son together. He has loved me unconditionally for all of these years. He has been my rock and my best friend. I worry about our age difference (18 years) and the fact that I love him but am not in love with him. I wonder if that can come back, as I was in love with him before. I am tired of being alone and have only had one good relationship since the divorce. We travel together and spend alot of time together. We have talked about getting back together, but I am just scared. What if it doesn't work? I can't imagine hurting him again. My mother is terminally ill and he has been the best support, as he always has. Any advice would be appreciated!
2007-01-18 01:34:50 · 24 answers · asked by Kitt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a tough question you are asking, because you know that the one who is at fault here, when the relationship ended is you. Which to me ,you are showing that you do not deny it. If I were you I would examine my feelings and thoughts about the present situation and check the pros and cons of it. If as you say that your ex-husband has been there for you and your family, what more proof do you want that he Loves you and for him you will always be the one for him, if you do decide to try and see if having him living with you and your son will eventually love him as you say again, then you are wishing for something that is not going to come true. If you don't appreciate what you have in front of you, then, do not try to get together with him because the one that is going to suffer is your son, and your ex. The age difference does not matter, what matters comes from the Heart. I hope you make the right decision, and as an after thought what woman would not love to have a man like your ex-husband.
2007-01-18 01:59:47 · answer #1 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
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2016-05-05 21:27:26 · answer #2 · answered by Diane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both you and your ex have been single for more than 10 years, without cementing another relationship? That says something. What were the circumstances of the divorce, you sound like a wonderful couple? You might want to seriously consider getting back together. If it doesn't work, you'll both go back to being alone, which you've been for 10 years. No big deal. If, on the other hand, it does work; you'll be with a man who truly loves you. It's worth the risk.
Understand that you may not have a passionate love for this man, but there is a deeper love that is just as warm, and just as fulfilling. Moreover, If you decide to take him back, don't worry about him getting hurt. He understands the risk, and he's willing to take that chance.
Concerning the age difference, it depends on how old you are now. For example: if you're 40 and he's 58, he still has a lot of life ahead of him. Make sure he takes care of his health and gets plenty of rest, and he'll be good to go for a long time. If you're younger than 40, the chances are even higher of you enjoying many years of happiness with this man.
2007-01-18 02:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be a great case for going back. You love him and that is all at this age. Being in love is a stage with which you start. The starting has been very good and the experience has been equally good. The shine in the relationship gave you a son and you cannot be oblivious of it. You consider him tobe your best friend and even your rock. How can you dislodge your rock! In your moment of distress when your mother is terminally ill and you feel very lonely, it may be a huge supportive force if you get back. And when you are together and travel together, be firm on the positive side of your relationship. A bad memory is an great endowment in such situations. May you be showered with this boon! Revive, retain, sustain, and maintain the decade old relationship into a yet more powerful union and let your son bask under the warmth of his parents together.
2007-01-18 02:16:31 · answer #4 · answered by braj k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't in love but you love him....I love a lot of people but that isn't enough to accept their proposals. You hurt him once...can you live with yourself if you hurt him again? I couldn't.
You said you were lonely and your mother is terminally ill....I think that you are going through a tough time and want support and that is no reason to marry this kind man. You would be using him...is that what you want to do? When you feel stronger and better and you meet someone you love and are in love with....will you leave him again?
Be respectful of this man. Tell him that you love him but the relationship lacks passion and you both shouldn't settle for something. Tell him you will always be his friend, but that he needs to move on. Do it for him for once, instead of thinking about yourself. Sounds like he has always put you first.
Now, if you have just read this and the thought of being without him breaks your heart and you think you really do want to spend the rest of your life with him...even if someone else you find more attractive were to come along and propose...than what the hell are you waiting for;)
Best of luck.
2007-01-18 02:04:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always nice to have a best friend, soul mate and confidant. Whether or not this Will work again is hard to say and whether you will hurt him again or not is even harder. HOWEVER, right now your mother is terminally ill and you need him in a way that is different than any other time in your life. Now is NOT the time to make these decisions because your decision could be clouded and your feelings for him confused due to the emotional stress you are going through with your mom.
Get through this difficult time. Let him help you through it. Decide on the rest after your mom has gone and you have had some time to adjust to that loss.
Good luck and much happiness in your future.
2007-01-18 01:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I remarried my ex-husband almost 5 years ago, after being divorced 8 years and it can be sweeter the second time around. We have both matured and found out what we want out of life and a relationship. There are still disagreements, but not as many. So I say it can work, but you need to decide why you want this. If it's just because your going through a tough patch or are lonely you might want to rethink it. If it's because you feel complete when your with this man, go for it.
2007-01-18 01:48:54 · answer #7 · answered by purple 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems like he has become your best friend instead of real husband material. That is great that you have maintained a great relationship with him after your divorce. But just because you are lonely isn’t a reason to go back to him. If you truly love him then yes, of course, go back to him. But if you are lonely, get a puppy, join a dating website, or join activities.
2007-01-18 01:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by prettyblueeyes101010 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you two really want to get back together then there is no harm in that...You just have to make sure that you are in control of the feels that broke you up in the frist place... Deal with your issues and come into the relationship new without all the old baggage...
2007-01-18 01:40:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Were you in love with him once before? If the in love feelings haven't come back in 10 years, I honestly don't see them coming back now. If I were you, I would not get back together with the ex unless those feelings come back.
2007-01-18 01:39:45 · answer #10 · answered by Dally 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋