What do I do regarding the porn issue ?

Question

I have done the whole sexy lingerie , games , new stuff in bed , video cameras ever since I first discovered the porn in our computer so he would lay off of it but he just doesn´t respond to that , not that he does not respond to sex itself ..he does not respond to those gimmicks made by me ...somehow I think the women in the porn films doing that stuff do arouse him ..to me he just sticks to regular stuff and does not like when I bring new stuff to the bedroom ..Most of the times I do initiate the sex ...I need some perspective

Answer 1

We want a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets...if you have a good sex life, what's the problem. Why not try watching it with him...use it as foreplay. Is this just a simple jealousy issue??? Get over yourself...when someone gets married, they can only sleep with one person the rest of his life. Everyone needs a little variety now and then. Just be happy he's only looking at other women and not out running around with them.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Perhaps you need some real communication?

Don't rely on a place like Yahoo Answers for real, sincere answers to serious problems. You might find legitimate answers here, but you'll also find a lot of crap.

That being said, talk to your man.

Now, everyone is different, but then again, people have a lot in common. By that I mean, we were very sexual creatures when we first met, and although we went at it like happy rabbits, I still had the occasional men's magazine around, and my wife never found it threatening, perhaps because she, too, still enjoyed solosex and understood that masturbation was not in any way a threat to our relationship.

All through the years, we have both thoroughly enjoyed together sex and private sex. Nothing unhealthy or weird about that.

Is you man satisfying you? Does he get off nicely when you have sex? Are you satisfying him?

If the answers to those questions are yes, then your relationship is probably OK.

Most men enjoy additional erotic arousal, and as long as its just legal pictures or videos, you really have no reason to worry.

If, on the other hand, you feel threatened by his attraction to erotica, then you have a problem.

Again, discuss it.

Don't avoid it.

And if you DO discuss it, do NOT do it in such a way that puts your husband on the defensive.

Answer 4

ya that totaly sucks he isnt being a good bf. Porn to me is funny. the next time he goes to watch porn stick a post it inside of everyone !! the post it can read lets try this later tonight or why watch when u can roll play with me ! little things like that . or go buy a toy and when u see him be like babe do we have any batteries ? then show him what for say you need to get off and he isnt helping ! but he should care about ur needs and wants

Answer 5

First all men seem to have a need to look at porn..Now before men freak out about that statement, that stems from them being visual creatures and not because they are morally bad. Now we could debate for years why..is this a evolutionary left over trait, or hunter gather traits..etc. Bottom line they like to look, don't be threatened by that.
Sit him down and address the problem directly..ask him point blank okay..what am I doing wrong and what can I do to make this more enjoyable for "us". This wording takes any sting out of the question, because the easiest way to shut down a sex talk with a man, is to trash his performance in bed. Don't lose your temper or yell at him...this is another shut down and flee the conversation for men. I have found that most men when questioned will do just about anything you want them too, happily too..I have heard the line used "just tell me what you want" they have no magic book or read minds to figure it out. You can buy ton's of stuff and props and it won't compare to most men's minds or imagination...I doubt that is your problem, there seems to me to be an underlying cause for his disinterest he is avoiding something and it probably has little or nothing to do with porn or your sex life in general.
Remember too sometimes it's hard for a man to verbalize what he is thinking and he might be afraid of your response to whatever he is having a problem with. Patience here, no screaming, no threats, and lay off the porn issue, and let him relax, make a cup of coffee and sit him down at the table, tell him you love him and go from there...open a conversation with him about everything..not just the sex. Unless he is the most miserable of men...you'll be surprised by him, trust me.

Answer 6

There may be a list of other reasons for him to keep watching porn.
Does he satisfy you in bed?
Do you let him know if he has satisfied you?
Are you up for just about anything in bed (and without complaint)?
There could be just one thing that you are not giving him in the bedroom that can easily find itself the main focus of his frustration which will convince him that he is not getting what he needs.
Is he bored around the house?
Is sexual activities usually a big affair, or do you have your fair share of quickies?
Do you do anything else in bed (or anywhere else around the house) other than intercourse?
There also exists the possibility that he just wants a quick release and doesn't want to go through any extra hassle.

Answer 7

I think this a really good question. First, a woman cannot compete with pornography. That's why pornography CAN be devestating to a relationship. Men who watch porn regularly, lose the ability to relate to a real woman. They lose their imagination when it comes to seducing, attracting and alluring women. It sounds like that's what's happening with your guy.

Unfortunately, because of porn, you no longer float his boat. My advice to you is to tell him that he is literally destroying the relationship. Sex is very important in a relationship in that it creates a bond between to people. If you don't have that bond, it is hard for a relationship to survive.

If he doesn't change his obsessive ways, I would seriously think about bouncing out. God Bless You.

Answer 8

I've never felt porn was an issue. I watch it with my husband. If there is something I want him to try, I tell him. I also ask him if there is something a woman is doing that he wants. We talk openly about our wants, needs, desires. If you're not getting something that you want my suggestion is to ask for it or better yet, demand it.

I would find a way to talk with him. It sounds as if he may not be comfortable with discussing sex with you. This is something that needs to happen to have a healthy sex life. It seems important to you...just a suggestion.

Answer 9

Tell him to cut out watching porn or you will leave him. That will show you what is more important to him

Answer 10

Most men like to watch porn...it´s arousing to them.And most of the time it doesn´t mean anything....neither that they want their wife-girlfriend to be that way nore that they want to try the stuff they watch.It´s what men do..they get turned on by what they see....
But you are bothered by this...which I can understand because of the way he acts towards you,even though you try anything to keep your sexlife exciting.I would try talking to him,tell him you noticed him watching that,without judging him and tell him that's its his behavior towards you that makes you worried...if you don´t tell,he doesn´t know!Good luck!