and why do people always make a big deal of it? like because of what youve been through makes you different from anyone else?
2007-01-18 01:16:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Some people can handle what has happened in their lives and others can not. Sometimes what happens in your life, like trauma or abuse, can effect your attitude twards the world for the rest of your life. Unfortunatly, everyone has different ways of reacting to these traumas. Some people deal with what has happened and are better people for it. If they were abused or neglected they vow that they will be BETTER than that and never treat people the way they were treated. Other times people are scarred for life if something is too traumatic for them to handle. The are never quite right after that trauma. I don't like when people use traumas of their past to justify bad, violent or pedophiliac behavior. I don't think it is an excuse they should be able to use. EVERYONE goes through hard times, lots of people were molested, abused, neglected or treated very badley. More often then not they turn out normal. It is a very select few that repeat the behaviors in their own life. IMO, if someone is molesting a child they can't blame it only on themselves being molested when they were young. I believe they already had the potential to be a pedophile. Past traumas are just their excuse to make judge and jury go easy on them.
There are also people who use their trauma to their advantage. "I was beat as a child, don't make me do my work!" so on and so on. They are some of the worst people. They wallow in self pitty and only make everyone around them misurable. No one feels sorry for them for very long, if they ever did in the first place. People soon realize they are using it as an excuse to get out of being a responsible adult.
2007-01-18 01:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by sunnychick 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When someone makes a big deal out of their "traumas", most times they are using them as an excuse. When a person goes through something bad, they have three choices:
1- let it beat you down
2- survive it
3- come out better for it
Almost every one of us has had bad things happen to us, some worse than others. I was physically and sexually abused growing up, but I'm not on drugs, never been in jail, have held very good jobs and am a pretty good mother. I've managed to keep a fairly bright outlook on life and have healthy relationships. What is my secret? I nourish my spiritual needs (not to be confused with religious), I have studied to find answers to why so that I may understand and get past things, and I accept that life isn't fair or easy, and that I am the only one responsible for my life and my happiness. Remember two things:
Life is what happens while you are making other plans AND
Always hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
Hope this has helped!
2007-01-18 01:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by jiminycricket 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You, my friend, are not the only one out there with pain. Trust me! You might feel isolated and picked on, but we all suffer. No one has a perfect life. Do you want to know what I mean? It is taking every ounce in me to overcome my tragedies. Some I brought on myself and others were done to me by people who were supposed to love and protect me. People make a big deal of it because you do. Maybe you use your pain subconsciously as an excuse for your behavior. That is done all the time. For example, look at serial killers or rapist. Most of them were abused as children and that is their excuse for what they have done. The fact of the matter is, your past is your past and you cant move to the future living in the past. Let it go. What happened is done and over with. You got through the worst part! Now dealing with it is not as hard as going through it! If it doesn't kill you it will only make you stronger. Find something else to occupy your time! Something positive that you enjoy doing!
2007-01-18 01:28:44 · answer #3 · answered by Lady 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of people out there who feel the same way you do. I've been through a lot myself. I have been kidnapped and sexually molested. I believe what don't kill you makes you stronger. I am smart, and I learned from the things that happened in my past. I don't bring them up, but if it does happen to come up in conversation I don't mind talking about it. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I tell them what I learned from it. There are 2 kinds of people...Those who take bad situations and learn from them and use it to make them stronger and those who use it as a crutch and as an excuse for being the way they are while feeling sorry for themselves.
When people start to act like they feel sorry for me, I blow it off and just explain that it has shaped who I am today...and I like myself!
2007-01-18 01:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by Chrissy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We all have our share of trials and pain in this life. However, I have also learned that no matter how bad it is going for me at a time of trial, I know that there is someone else out there dealing with worse.
2007-01-18 01:21:18 · answer #5 · answered by lifesajoy 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
they make a big deal of it because it is really hard getting through what ever it is its harder on some people than most
2007-01-18 01:33:10 · answer #6 · answered by dee_ann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone thinks they are the only one to go through something until they meet someone who has also gone through it
Be patient it will get better
Blessings
2007-01-18 01:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because, you survived it, and they don't think they
could have. You are stronger for it. They can see this.
2007-01-18 01:26:55 · answer #8 · answered by elliebear 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well You are Wrong...
2007-01-18 01:26:00 · answer #9 · answered by atablackbelt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋