Why can't i get my high school sweetheart out of my head.?

Question

I have been married for 2 yrs now, but i think and dream of him alot, in my dreams he gives me more sexual pleasure than my husband.we broke up 9 yrs ago.

Answer 1

I had the same thing happen to me, only it was 25 years ago. I got married young and had not really gotten over my HS sweetheart. In hindsight, I got married on the rebound. I didn't get closure from my HS sweetheart when we broke up but I didn't know that then. I dreamed and thought about him for years. I even wrote to him and called him a couple of times early on in my marriage. Years passed and I didn't contact him until I got a computer back in the mid 90's. By then my marriage was suffering even worse. We e-mailed for about 4 years. I moved to a location where it could be possible to meet him again. By then my husband and I had been divorced for a couple of years. I met back up with my HS sweetheart. He told me about all these women he had dumped over the years after being engaged. Similar to how he dumped me. He just wanted me to go away. And then he asked if he could meet up with me when he floated in to town. I felt as though he was trying to set up a booty call of some sort. I did get a lot of closure from corrosponding all those years and seeing him in person again. Made me appreciate that I didin't have a future with him. You can give yourself closure, you don't need the ex for that. Everyone has fantasies, that is what keeps the bedroom exciting. That does not mean your husband is not pleasing you. If you eat the same food every day you get tired of it. Same with sex. You need your imagination to keep it exciting.

Answer 2

Start thinking of it as just a romantic version of your ex. You live with your husband so you see him burp, fart, scratch, etc in front of you. Your HS boyfriend, prob didn't do that, at least in front of you. Think of the annoying things your HS boyfriend did or the annoying things your husband does, your HS boyfriend does the same thing, you just don't live with him!

It is normal to dream like this but the other writers are right, you need to start forcing your dreams away from your ex. There maybe certain things that trigger the memories. For me it was seeing old photos of any HS classmates.

Remember women are more "mental" when it comes to sexual pleasure, men are more visual. Your brain is just working on what you like, start having your husband do what your dreams do- just tell him you were dreaming of him and want him to try it.

Good luck :-)

Answer 3

Oh girl. You need to let this go. It is unhealthy. You will only end up miserable and alone. Trust me I had the same problem with my H.S. sweetheart. It took years to get over him. I wish I could tell you how to get over him. I don't really know. I guess whenever you start thinking about him... keep in mind why/how you broke up... he is after all an EX for a reason. Work on your marriage.

Answer 4

This is a difficult situation. I am experiencing the same thing. You need to focus more on what you have more than what you want. It takes effort for you to make your existing marriage better, but if you consistently rememnice about past experiences with another you will ruin what you have now. If you love your husband then carry pictures of him with you , and look at them alot. You can make plans in your head about what things you are going to do to him. But you must force yourself to deny the past experiences. No hope should be placed in and on those past experiences to occur in the future. Good luck

Answer 5

maybe you could try to spice up your sex life with your husband a little ....all the thought you are putting into the high school sweetheart put into being with hubby....i'm sure things will heat up....it will be a nice treat for him too......