How do I get my 10yr old to do simple everyday task?

Question

Every morning and evening its the same thing. I have tried everything I know to get her to follow the same routine that we have had her whole life. Unless I follow her around 24/7 she won't do ANYTHING. I know she is just a kid, but as a single parent I am getting too frustrated to deal properly with this. I need a creative way to help get her into a routine.

Answer 1

Reward her when she does good. Punish her when she does bad. Above all, be consistent!! That about sums it up. Nagging does not work, but knowing that she will lose privileges for not doing her chores, and knowing at times that she may be rewarded for doing then will give her motivation. She is old enough to have a serious talk, so sit her down and tell her straight how things are and how they are going to be. You are single, busy, and need her to help out. Let her know you love her dearly, but you are unhappy with the lack of help she is providing. Give her credit for whatever she DOES do, though! Love is a give-and-take thing, and you get what you put into it. She needs to learn this anyway. Then set the rules. She has to do x-y-z. When she does not do x-y-z, she will lose a privilege. No tv. No computer privileges. Grounding. Whatever it takes. If she DOES do her chores, when you are able you will reward her for it. It does not have to be money, in fact it is probably better that it isn't. Figure out what she likes, take her out, spend some time with her, or whatever works for you and her. Not only will you be rewarding her, you'll be rewarding yourself, too! The most important thing, however, is to be consistent. Being single, you know it is difficult to deal with problems and find time. You are probably very busy! But you still need to follow through on threats and promises. That is the key to good parenting. Good luck!

Answer 2

First, this is normal for a 10 year old. They are going through changes. Ask her why she doesn't do this task? Can you change things around to make the task easier for her or would work better for her?

For example... She doesn't want to take out the trash any more in the morning. Ask her if she wants to take it out at a different time. Maybe she doesn't like getting up early and would rather take it out the night before.

If this works - great! If not make a chart and put it on the wall where she will see it daily. Tell her when she does that task to put a star or smiley face on the chart. When she gets (choose a number) so many stars she will get a reward of her choice! It has to be a reward that she really, really wants. It doesn't have to be expensive just something she really wants (maybe a sleep over with a friend... or spending an afternoon out with you!)

The chart won't be forever - just until she gets back in the habit of doing her task.

Remember to listen to what she has to say - tell her you want to make her life easier and that she needs to help around the house because she is part of the household.

Hope that helps! Good luck!

Answer 3

I give my kids an allowance, they are 13, 12, and 5. The five yr old feeds the cat, help load the dishwasher simple tasks. If the other two teens don't do their chores, they get money deducted. They don't like this, and will do the chores. Throw away anything they don't pick up (or pretend to) hide it good... then she'll learn --In the morning she should eat, dress, brush her teeth. comb her hair, get her backpack, coat, etc...in the evening she should do homework, eat a snack, and a few simple things to help u out. She is not there to do your housework for you. She should be responsible for p/u of her room, after herself, refill tp holder, etc stuff like that. Don't expect a 10yr old to wash and wax your floors, etc... Its not her fault your single. She needs to be a kid too... What doesn't get done today, will tomorrow.

Answer 4

Try using a chore chart. Sometimes if the chores are in writing kids can understand them better. Be careful not to overload her with chores. Simple task are easy for young kids.You have to let her know that if she follows the chart she will get rewarded. Also if she does not do the chores on the chart she will be punished, like not going to the movies or no computer etc... Good luck!

Answer 5

Try a check list on a clip board...it works the first three days or maybe a little more. I think the important part is to be able to let her know that you know she got everything done. I'm a single parent too. Mine seems to be very worried that I don't have enough interest in her. She needs reassuring every now and then.

Answer 6

It's simple she lacks motivation to do it.Yelling at her is just going to make her re bell against doing it.The real problem here is that when she grows up she will carry her childhood with her.Yep she'll be the same way as an adult unless you train her now to good habits.Once she is 16 17 years old it over .Here personality is pretty much en grained.What you do is this find out what motivates her and work from their .Take that and work with it use common sense...

Answer 7

Show your athority side. Let her know that your serious. If she doesnt help, you have the right to not let her do something. What is her favorite thing to do? Take that away. Or do what my mom used to do and this worked. Yell, threaten, and if that rooom wasnt clean she would go in there take all the drawers out and flip them upside down so all of my stuff was on the floor. She would take the sheets off my bed and throw them on the floor, then she would go in the closet and take all my clothes and throw them on the floor. (sounds crazy hu) I thought so too. But it worked, I kept my a** in there and cleaned up that mess, I didnt want that to happen again. Or you could do what Super Nanny does and put them in the naughty corner.LOL

Answer 8

Turn off the computer.
Turn off the television.
Turn off the telephone.
If the child is not doing their share of the work then they have NO privileges. End of conversation. If you don't get them to do things now, you will have MAJOR problems later. You are the parent. Act like one. You can do this with no screaming or yelling. The task needs to be done.

Answer 9

Find an activity or item that works as a reward for her. That might be an allowance, or shopping for a new piece of clothing, a TV show, etc. Don't let her watch or shop until her chores are done. You might have to make a job list for her to work from, too.

Answer 10

try printing out a calender of things you need her to do and put it on your fridge, get her to mark off the things she has done, this was she feels in controll and won't think your harping on her all the time. As she markes them off and the weeks work is complete, tell her it's HER choice of where she wants to go to celebrate, keep it simple, like maybe tim hortons for a doughnut and hot chocolate. Good luck.