my boyfriend is in the closet. he's bi and also deating another girl. everyone thinks he's straight, so when we're together, we have 2 keep our distance. what should i do?
2007-01-18 01:04:49 · 14 answers · asked by blewboy333 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
The least you can do is be honest with him. Tell him how you feel. It is up to him to decide whether or not he comes out of the closet. Although, by being in the closet he seems to be getting the good end of both relationships. Are you sure this is about being in the closet? One can be in the closet and be faithful to the one they love.
2007-01-18 01:11:12 · answer #1 · answered by Mickey22_jp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It feels perfect when you're with him, right? Just you and him doing your couply things. And you can almost see yourself with him in the long run if only things weren't so........f'ed up. Yup, hate to break it to you, this guy is not a keeper. Break up with him and don't drag it out. Breakups should be quick. Why prolong the pain? Don't explain why but just say you don't wanna see him anymore. No one needs to endure a closeted man. If he's dating another person(regardless of this person's sex), he's also cheating on you! I've done this before because I thought I could "save" the guy or "help" the guy but I never expected him to come out for me. Maybe only guide him in that direction. HUGE mistake. It doesn't work like that. They only care for themselves. And by the way, closeted men are cowards. They will break your heart and blame it on you. It kinda goes with the secrecy of their life anyway. Don't let him do this to you. Then one day someone told me this: closeted people should date other closeted people.
2007-01-18 02:10:38 · answer #2 · answered by kidkill18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should dump him & move on. Sorry to tell you that but it will save you alot of heart ache in the long run, I have been thru that before, & trust me it is nothing but trouble. Couples have enuff problems without creating more cuz one of you cant deal or come to terms with who you are. The only time you spend is behind closed doors, is kinna sad. I wouldnt call that a relationship. I had to take a step back & look @ my life. I wasnt going to be his little "trick" for when he decided to be "gay". Move on & hope that down the road he will come to terms with who & what he is, Then maybe you 2 could hook up again when he has his head screwed on right
2007-01-18 01:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by SoccerBoi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but moving on is a serious consideration I think you should take.
First off, and most serious, is that he's not honest. He's cheating on his other lover.
Second, the effect of having to be closeted around him is corrosive to you. I know. I had a boyfriend and girlfriend I had to be closeted around. It was excruciating. I had to keep it from our closest friends. The only person I could tell, and had to even prior to the relationship, was my wife. I couldn't have entered the relationship without her ok.
I managed to stay with them for 10 months. I'm still dealing with the emotional fallout a year after leaving them.
I wish you the best.
2007-01-18 01:07:46 · answer #4 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
To be honest, if I were you I wouldn't be in this relationship right now. I'm at a stage in my life that I know who I am and who I want to be. I would not want to date someone in the closest because then it puts me in the closest as well. You must really look at what YOU want, and what would make YOU happy. I totally understand what you are going through. I have been on both sides of this situation. Good luck!!
2007-01-18 01:53:09 · answer #5 · answered by Jfranc1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, talk to him. If he wants to be with you, he needs to choose between you and his girlfriend. When he chooses you, give him a little time to get use to having just a boyfriend. Be with him and support him, and in time, he'll come out and share with everyone that you're his guy
2007-01-18 02:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to find some self-respect. Both you and his girlfriend are being USED. You are both playing the role of "the other woman". You and the girlfriend deserve much better than that.
So, dump him NOW.
2007-01-18 02:02:06 · answer #7 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever you like.
I wouldn't date a closet case and I wouldn't share a boyfriend with anyone, male or female.
2007-01-18 04:50:02 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMHO, you might want to give some serious consideration to dumping the bf. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual but it's not fair to you and it's not fair to the girl he's dating.
2007-01-18 01:45:23 · answer #9 · answered by jasgallo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's also dating a girl, are you really okay with that? Does she know about you? If she doesn't, it's really not fair to her... It's also not really fair to you if he won't break up with his girlfriend for you, but still wants to fool around. There are plenty of other gay men out there... Ditch this one and find one who wants to be loyal to you.
2007-01-18 01:08:52 · answer #10 · answered by * 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋