How do you make friends that will want to call you and be friends with you?

Question

I am friendly and have a lot of friends. But, I hear all of my friends say they went out to lunch or talked to their friends for hours on the phone.

I don't have that. It seems like everyone I know is too busy. Yet they have time for their good friends or best friends.

I invite my friends places, try to help them when they need it, take an interest in their lives, tell them about my life. I don't build myself up in front of them so I don't make them jealous. I always talk about their accomplishments and will mention a few of mine so I give back when I'm with them.

I don't understand why I don't have friends calling me? I keep going on though and inviting friends to lunch, parties... and figure maybe one day it will click.

I do think people like me because I am in groups with them and they alwasy seem to want me to come and invite me to their group and seem happy to see me and talk to me. Just not be their best friend?

I must be doing something wrong?

Answer 1

Are you fun to be around? Do you have a sense of humour?

It sounds like you might just be a little insecure and needy (no offence) and this would turn me off calling someone and hanging out with them 1 on 1.

Keep being nice and friendly and all that, just try to chill out and have a laugh.

Answer 2

There are a lot of people that I know of, including family members, that are like that. Some people are a little self centered and don't realize they are doing it. If it weren't for me calling my uncles and aunts, I would never hear from them. They are always happy to see me and hear from me, I have a 15 month old girl who they adore. But they won't come to me first. They are all very busy with their own kids and I just don't think they get it. I have spoken to them and let them know how I feel about it, and then they are good about it for a while, but go back to the old ways eventually. I have decided that I want to keep the family together so I have to take the good with the bad. I don't make a big deal about it anymore, I just call them and keep in touch with them. Your friends really just might not realize what they are doing. I would try to talk to them individually. See what happens.. Good luck!

Answer 3

I have several suggestions for you.

First, re-read everything you just wrote. It generally sounds like the perfect menu for making good friends. Now evaluate yourself and your relationship with these people. Are you really doing all these things, and are you doing them consistently? Sometimes you think you're being a good friend, and you are not. Perhaps you have a habit of being judgemental or sassy. Things like that will cancel out the good you do. I'm not saying you do these things, but merely that you need to evaluate yourself and make sure you are not hurting people's feelings!

Second, ok, let's assume you're doing everything above and not mouthing off to people or something. Do YOU call THEM? If you are sitting around at home waiting for people to call you, it isn't going to happen. Pick up the phone and be the one to call, even if just for a little chat. My dad spent his entire life despairing that his family never called him, but I never once saw him pick up the phone and call one of them. Hmm...

Third... let's assume you do call, and you are nice, and you do hang out with them and everything else you wrote about. What kind of people are these kids? Perhaps you're hanging out in the wrong crowd! Are they shallow, popular kids (not that all popular kids are shallow)? Are they stuck up rich kids? Are they gossipy and selfish? Perhaps most importantly, do they have the same interests that you do? Maybe they do not call you because they have little or nothing in common with you. If that is the case, then maybe you need to find new friends. If so, join some clubs, volunteer, or get involved in activities that YOU are interested in. Then you will meet people who have similar interests, and they will be more likely to get more involved with you.

If you think these are the right friends, and you have called, and you have consistently been nice to them, then there may not be a whole lot more you can do. Be patient. Be yourself (this is very important). Keep doing what you are doing. Sometimes it takes time to make really good friends. If you continue to be kind, generous, respectful, and emphathetic toward people, then they will be your friends. If they don't, then they probably are not worth being friends with anyway. Good luck!

Answer 4

Don't feel bad honey I have the same problem.I don't know why either ...Sometimes I pick my phone up just to make sure it is still working.I wish I new the answer things have always been that way for me also.It depressing isn't it.Well honey if you get lonely send me a email no one sends me emails either.Sept those people that are trying to see if want a bigger penis.LoL
Really if you want [e-mail]
it be nice just to have email pal

Answer 5

One day it will click.
Don't try so hard. Right now, just be one of the group. Eventually you and another person will start doing things together and it will happen. Do YOU ever call them at home and talk?

Answer 6

Forget friends, no real use for them. If they are already around then fine but going out and looking for them is a no, no. Friends are usually liabilities and serves no useful function other then someone to vent to and to make you feel more comfortable in public.

Answer 7

Find friends who enjoy the things you like to do, not you trying to like the things they do. I was the same way until I realized "hey I like to read so why don't I find other people who like to read". It's a lot easier to find people then change you.