14 year old stole my SUV!!!!!?

Question

Totalled it. Walked away with only a scratch. Has no remorse for her actions what-so-ever. Husband refuses to have charges brought against her. We have insurance that will cover the car. Am I the only one who has a problem with her not being punished?
No grounding, no privaleges taken away, nothing?

The child is my stepdaughter who lives with us. Has been out of control for a long time. Habitual lier, theif, etc. Car is in my husband's name. I feel like my hand are tied. SHe called me a F...... B.... after I told her she didn't even have the decency to apoligize for stealing my vehicle. Very troubled young girl. I think there are mental issues here.

I appreciate everyone's answers. I think I'm just needing to vent. I'm worried about my husband. He is so broken hearted over this girl. We have tried everything with her. Talking to her, counseling, trying to trust her etc. Nothing works. He's worried about being responsible for ruining her future. It's a very sad situation.Biological mother has visitation rights. But, is no help with diciplining the child. Is constantly against anything my husband wants to do. Just to fight with him.

Answer 1

You may need to consult a lawyer. Sounds like divorce is not far down the line. As a counselor, I would draw the line in the sand. If the SUV was a gift to you, and you were the primary driver, it doesn't matter that it is in his name. You can press charges. I would advice you to let your husband know this and that those are your intentions. Furthermore, if you both are not in a counseling session somewhere, like yesterday, then you may be considering whether this is a marriage worth your time. (Don't say it if you don't mean it.) No one should suffer the abuse of a step-child or even their own children as you describe. If she is 14, she'll be gone in less than 7 years, however, the question is how long will your marriage survive.

I wish you well.

***ADDITIONAL DETAILS*** You most definitely need counseling. Your husband has already set the road for her being an irresponsible person.

Answer 2

Not doing anything and ignoring it is just lame and not parenting. What are you too even there for if not to give this child guidance and try and teach her how to be successful and contribute to the well being of our society? I feel very sad for this little girl. She is being left to raise herself and is probably angry that no one is taking an interest in her.

Kids test boundaries and want to know that someone cares enough to tell them NO. It sounds like her behaviour has been overlooked for a while so you should expect a fight at every corner when you do try to discipline her. Either you are going to do it now or the police will do it later and unfortunately if you leave it to them then she will hurt innocent people along the way to prison.

I think you should talk with your husband about this and explain that the purpose of discipline is to correct/alter behaviour and not to punish just to make you feel better. If you explain that it is about his/your daughters future well being and not about just getting even then he might be willing to support you in helping this little girl.

Answer 3

I understand what needs to happen is charges need to be pressed so she can spend sometime in juvenille or she will do alot worse end up in prison or end up pregnant shortly. I know he may not like it but he can always drop the charges on her after she spends some time locked up. On the other hand she may be doing all these things to show you that you have no control and that she resents for you for being with her father instead of her mother if she never got past the divorce or maybe you came in too soon after the divorce and she feels its your fault that her parents cant have a chance at getting back together. So maybe you guys need to send her to some place where she can talk to some one in confidence and then you can all talk together to work on things or they will only get worse.

Answer 4

Wow. That's a recipe for disaster. If my son did that he would be grounded till he was 40. And grounded doesn't mean locked in his room to play with his video games. It means he would have to clean the whole house every weekend, keep his grades above a 95, no TV or electronics of any kind, no friends, and volunteer with under privileged children. He knows this too so he would never do anything like that. This girl should be punished heavily.

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The only option I see your husband hasn't tried is discipline, and she needs it bad! Even though it in your husbands name, you guys are married. It was your primary vehicle and you can press charges against her. It will destroy your marriage though, probably. This girl needs discipline, not trust. She doesn't deserve trust, she hasn't earned it.

Answer 5

Stealing a car, getting in an accident and having no remorse. Was she trying to hurt herself or suffering from depression.

I think she should be punished in some way to show that what she did is no joke. She could have seriously hurt or killed herself or someone else. Someone who shows no remorse for this type of behavior needs to not get behind the wheel. Maybe deny her the right to get her learners permit for awhile.

Answer 6

I'd get mad and manage it in an additional method for the reason that cash will also be changed however no longer a existence. Plus she makes thousands rapping so she will have to had inspiration approximately that too. I'm no longer announcing it was once k for the opposite girl to thieve however I could as an alternative ask her approximately and manage it in an additional method then must cross to prison over whatever that could were solved in yet another method. Plus Remy demands to look at who she calls her peers for the reason that she under no circumstances recognise who else probably attempting thieve from her.

Answer 7

my brother stole my mothers care when he was 14, i was just talking about this earlier, he's 19 now and still does it and he takes other things from her house and pounds them. i understand where youre coming from. i dont understand your husband(just like i dont understand my parents). she needs to understand that what she did was etremely wrong and she needs to get punished for it, you probably already know why she did it(boyfriend maybe? she could just not be telling you the whole truth or none at all ). but if that is very important to her you could help her get there too. teenagers do crazy things for dumb reasons. good luck. heads up these next few years with her are probably going to be tough.

Answer 8

yes, she should be punished and because of her attitude I would press charges. I took the family car without permission as a teenager and my mother reported the car stolen. My attitude straightened up when I had to go to court for it. I learned my lesson and have since had to do the same with my step-daughter.

Answer 9

I would have her put in juvenile hall for a few days.. What she did was a crime! Are you not allowed to be a parent to her and discipline her or is that only daddy's job?

Your her mother.. Do what YOU think is right and to heck with your husband! No wonder she is acting like a brat!

Answer 10

Your fourteen year old or someone elses? Talk to the parents if child is unrelated. You may not be able to sue the child, but you can sue the parents. Ask the parents to see if she can work off the amount of damages even if insurance covers it, she needs to understand the reprecusions of her actions.