I can't help but to believe that my husband may have been with a man before. I pinch his butt (playing around) and he'll say "I've been goosed". When I first met him, the reason why I never answered any of his calls was because I would've bet my life that he was gay. Then I guess I gave him a chance..we started going out, he can cook his *** off, and he NEVER leaves the toilet seat up!! When we use to work together he was on the phone with a customer, and by the way he was smiling and flirtatiously talking, I thought he was talking to a female. When they got off the phone, I asked him jokingly "how are you going to flirt with a girl on the phone in front of me". He told me is was a guy on the phone, he was gay, and was telling him how he wanted to come here and take care of him, give him baths (my husband was my fiance' @ the time, & the guy was nurse). I heard him say, "my fiance' wouldn't like that too much", not "I don't go that way", he didn't even get an attitude w/ him!!
2007-01-18 00:49:19 · 14 answers · asked by wifey 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Why would it matter? He may or may not have experimented in the past, but the point is he's with you, and seemingly happy. As long as he's not supressing a hidden homosexual desire I see no issue with this.
2007-01-18 00:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Wanderer 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What does it matter to you if he had been with a man before? He's still the same person who loves you. Plus, he's not cheating on you with a man or a woman anyway.
What would make you think he was gay just because he doesn't leave up the toilet seat? I have a 3 year old boy who always puts down the toilet seat after he's done. It's called good upbringing. And I'd hate to say this but the best cook in the world are men... straight men.
If you really want to know, there is only one way to find out. Ask him for an honest answer. But should it matter if he had been with a man? He's with you and you alone NOW. You should consider yourself lucky you found a good man. As long as he's faithful, your husband sounds like a real keeper.
2007-01-18 10:16:36 · answer #2 · answered by theP0OCH 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are assuming too much, and drawing too much conclusions dear.
I am not saying that your husband is gay or that he is not; I am only saying that instead of torturing yourself, you should have a little chat with him.
You should actually be happy if he doesn't leave the toilet seat up, a lot of wives go nuts when their husband forget to do that. Is that enough evidence that a man is gay? NO!
I have straight friends with whom I go out regularly, their spouses could not be happier to know that they are with me -- Does that make my straight friends gay? NO.
Try in the mean time to concentrate on other details. Do you have a happy intimate life with him? Does he 'work late at night' and when you call him he is not at the office? I believe this would give you a more precise idea. However, once again, have a long chat with him and tell him what your fears are.
Best wishes.
2007-01-18 10:06:21 · answer #3 · answered by Kedar 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I believe that Wanderer and Mr. Spock are right in their assesstment.
However, you need to talk to him, and since you love your husband, you need to be understanding with his reply. First thing is to have a casual conversation about bisexuality. He may be repressing his bisexuality.
If he was with a man before, no problem; that is in the past. He may have been sexually abused as a child and doesn't realize that he has a problem. That's where YOU, the LOVING WIFE, must be supportive and understanding.
When a man has been sexually assaulted or molested as a child, they often feel some confusion about what to do as adults. They sometimes feel like having sex with men, but they also have a taste for women.
Not all cases involve sexual assault or molestation. In some cases, it is an identity crisis. The man really can't understand what he feels. He knows he loves, you and likes to be intimate with you, but he may have some attraction to other males.
On the other hand, that he speaks with gay men and flirth with them may only be a dangerous sales pitch. He told you that the customer was gay, so he may have been trying to make the customer happy. In business, you have a responsibility to make customers happy. Although he wouldn't want make them too happy if they are gay, for he don't want them to get the wrong idea about his intentions and lose the customer.
2007-01-18 09:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by David G 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Honestly, all of the answers that said to just ask are right. There are lots of straight guys who seem more in touch with their feminine side and are comfortable pushing boundaries of what we consider "normal" for a guy.
Part of me wants to say that gut instinct usually is right, but you really need to hear what he thinks.
Many women hug, kiss, and dance with their female friends. DO they want to sleep with them? Maybe some do, but most don't.
You need to ask him directly if you are concerned.
If you think he is lying to you, you could always use a hot male friend as a decoy. However, if you have to go to those lengths to get the truth, you have to re-examine why you are still together.
2007-01-18 09:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by reginachick22 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry all it seems to be very gay. I am a straight women, but once I had a very bad experience with a guy I was dating.
I realized he likes to take women out, in order to get straight guy's attention. When he spot a men checking on his girl, he approach the guy by starting a friendly conversation and introduce "his" girl to the guy...I don't think you want to know the rest of it. I just didn't get myself in a situation even worse than that, because the bartender felt sorry for me and told me what was going on... I left the guy there after had told him I was leaving for a lady's room.
People's feeling isn't something smart to be played. It must be hard for you to leave your husband, but there are things we have to do, there is no other way, plus getting divorce gives you a chance to find a real men.
2007-01-18 09:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
With your degree of trust your marriage is doomed to failure. So, if he has been with men, what exactly does that mean to you? I'm not sure how you went all the way to marriage without discussing this, but you did and now you are still concerned about something that you should have asked immediately.
Ask him, and accept his answer.
2007-01-18 09:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
All humans experiment sexually. They either won't admit it, or block it out. Could have been a childhood experience, or when
one was intoxicated. A man can be feminine without engaging in gay sex. If he's not actually having sex with another, don't put
yourself out!
2007-01-18 08:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Mr Spock 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ASk him,if you're worried. I didn't know mine was bi when I married him,and we broke up,later got together,and I found porn pics of him and other couples on his computer is how I found out. Trust me,you'll never get that pic out of your mind. -Besides,what would be the reason to marry you if he were gay>?
2007-01-18 16:20:15 · answer #9 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's having a little fun with you. I haven't heard anything that points to gay immediately
2007-01-18 10:18:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋