My friends have split up and both want to live with me. What to do?

Question

I used to live with my mate and his girlfriend, but now have my own house.
They have split up and both want to live with me. I'm totally in the middle because I feel loyal to both for letting me stay with them.
I've wanted a lodger for ages because money's a bit tight but surely I can't say yes to either of them, can I?

Answer 1

Yes! you can!

Just tell them both that you are indebted to both of them for the help they gave you in the past and you want to repay that help!

Offer both of them a place to stay with ground rules - they'll then sort it out for you - one will say OK the other won't! If they both say yes - then the ground rules come into effect - no fighting, bitching, arguing etc etc etc

Answer 2

Just say no to both and put an add in the local paper for a lodger. If you choose one then the other will probably get really mad at you when you've done nothing wrong, if you say no to both they may be disappointed for a while but at least they'll both know where they stand with you, and that neither is above the other.

Answer 3

If you want to stay friends with both i think you would be better off by finding another lodger and turning them both down nicely otherwise choose who you would rather be friends with as the other is likely to resent you for it even if they don't show it.

Answer 4

I would say "no" to both of them and state your reasons ... You are being loyal to both of them and you are not going to take sides. Unless they can agree between themselves ... not with you in the middle ... which one should move in with you. If not, then look for another lodger.

Answer 5

Who were you originally friends with - the guy? Then I think your loyalties lie with him. Why dont you explain to her the situation you are in and how you feel that because you used live with her ex previously and how you knew him before her that you feel you have to pick him. Explain that it doesnt reflect badly on her - and that you're staying neutral in the situation and you want to remain friends with her - but hopefully she can understand your situation.
Maybe a nice gesture would be to offer to help her look for somewhere to stay as well.
Good luck
xx

Answer 6

I reckon you should tell them although you really appreciated the help they gave you, very much , you just don't feel it would be appropriate for you to live with either one of them, as you feel......and tell them how you feel, be upfront and honest and they will appreciate that. As for the no flow money situation, advetise for a lodger to make things a little easier, and good luck

Answer 7

Do what you can to help find them accomodation but don't let 1 stay as this might harm their relationship, both with you and between themselves.

Be open about your care and concern to each of them as well as any reasons that you may have for your decisions.

Answer 8

Say yes to both for the following reasons :
1. They let you live with them before you had your house
2. You need the money, preferably from both
3. If you are loyal to both, you must help reconcile them both.

Answer 9

Say yes to your mate. He is your mate after all, you met this girl through him.

If you picked the girl, you would lose your mate. You should pick one, picking neither is childish, you're not in school and you have no loyality to your mate's ex - girlfriend. Tell her so and if she doesn't understand then.. well.. tough!!

Answer 10

if all 3 of you were happy before you moved into your own house why not invite them both and you might be able to rekindle the old days as they were,// but if it doesn't work then turf out the one you least want to live in your house and that's your problem solved