Im 3 weeks preg and wants to go for abortion. Bt my boyfriend wants to have our baby
I know he loves me alot and will take care of me and our baby
but stil im not mentally prepared for dis.........
[im goin to be 22 in oct]
Whenever i talk to him abt dis to him he jst say dat his baby inside me shows how much we lov each other n he dont wants to abort our lov
I really dont know what to do....??
I even dont want to hurt him........!!
2007-01-17 21:39:46 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
we are gettin married on 31st jan
2007-01-17 21:40:34 · update #1
keep the baby. You are old enough and you guys are getting married. Abortion should only be for ladies that were abused or raped. You are neither, so be an adult women and step up to your responsibilities. You should be happy your man wants this child so bad. Bu lucky with what you have. A lot of men will run like hell when a female gets preg.
2007-01-17 21:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Congratulations! You have such a responsible bf who loves you. I don't think you should abort the baby, it's a precious gift. It is not that you are going to take care of this baby alone, under-age, or have serious financial and/or health problems. On the other hand, you are going to be married, you two are going to build a family together, I am sure he'll gives you all the support you need. Be strong and be responsible of what you have done.
I think every first-time mother regardless of their age more or less would have the feeling of "I'm not ready to be a mom, I won't be able to take care of babies, what if I'm not a good mom... etc", so it's normal that you think that way too.
You can always get help from parents and family. Don't worry..
Congratulations again for being a wife-and-mother-to-be.
2007-01-18 07:24:20 · answer #2 · answered by panic-over-nothin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are likely 5 weeks pregnant - the ovulation week and week after that is considered part of your pregnancy. Most people can't know they are pregnant as early as 3 weeks.
I'm sorry for the position you are in. I am pro-choice, but in your situation I would think long and hard before I made a decision if I were you. You're not in high school anymore, and you are in a loving and committed relationship. You are even about to get married. Why would you want to abort? 22 is plenty old enough to be a mother. I'm not judging you on your dilemma right now, so don't take this the wrong way, but I think you're just scared with the idea of being a mother (we all are) and you're trying to find a way out. The only problem is, I think you're listening to your depression and it's giving you bad advice. I think you would regret the abortion if you got it.
But in the end, it's your body and you have to do what's best for you.
2007-01-18 05:50:56 · answer #3 · answered by annieohbee 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hello there.
Many women are filled with conflicting emotions when they find out they are pregnant. You say that you were not mentally prepared for this, I can hear that. You have described all the negative emotions that you are feeling but if you stop for a moment and think, are there any positive feelings? You talk about how much your fiance' loves you but do you love him at all? These are important questions that will ultimately make a big difference in the decision that you will make.
If there is a part of you that is excited about this little baby that is growing inside of you, that is a good sign. If you can think of this baby as part of you and part of this man who loves you so much, how can you not love him or her? Think of holding a tiny baby with your eyes and maybe his nose....or some other feature of his that you love. If it is a girl she could be a miniature version of her mama and if it is a boy it might look like his Daddy and have some characteristics of yours. How can you NOT feel love for this little person? You are all that is standing between this precious little baby and death. Mothers are not supposed to want to kill their babies honey. Mothers are supposed to fight like tigers to keep their babies safe. You know that. I could understand it if you had been raped by some stranger in a dark alley, or even if you were only 14 or 15 years old. I could even understand if the man you loved had reacted horribly and left you! But, you have the ideal situation going on. You have a strong man that loves you, a man who is going to marry you, you are 22 years old.....what more can I say?
I am trying to be the voice of reason here honey. Do you really think that he will ever look at you in the same way if you go in to some clinic and kill his baby? This baby that the two of you created in love?
What I do know is that when you hold that baby in your arms and your eyes meet you will be filled with a love so intense that you will never be able to imagine how for one minute you could have thought of ending that precious little life.
You have so much to look forward to! You have a wedding to plan! Soon you will need to buy maternity clothes ( and they make really great things now). Before you know it there will be baby showers and all the adorable things to buy for that little someone.
You will never be sorry for having this baby, I have NEVER talked to a mother who is sorry. But I have counseled SO many women and held them while they cried because they killed their precious baby and can not ever fix that awful decision.
Please listen to me, I know what I am talking about. I do this all the time.
Make your fiance' the happiest man in the world, show him how much you love the baby that the two of you have created together. Get married and create a home for your little baby. You will not be sorry.
If you want to talk some more just write to me and I promise to write back.
Take care and Blessings to you and your baby.
Lady Trinity~
2007-01-18 07:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Trinity 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep the baby! You are young and even you are not ready for an experience like this, you'll be a great mother! Especially because you have his love and support. You are not mentally prepared for this...so what? There is one chance to never be! A child is a wonderful gift and you'll see after you give birth the baby will be the joy of your life! Good luck!
2007-01-18 05:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by sandi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i don't think you should abort it.it an innocent baby's life and how would you feel if your parents aborted you?besides,you're getting married in a week or 2 anyway. that baby is the token of your love and you cannot kill it. don't you think you'll regret too if you abort it?i think abortion should be illegal.mothers should love their baby before they even have it but you are the complete opposite. you should've thought about the consequences before you did it.now don't tell me you love your child but still want to abort it.do what your boyfriend says. he has an equal right on this baby too. if you still want to abort it,don't do it against your boyfriend's wish. he wants to be a father and you can't steal that right from him. talk to him about and then decide.
2007-01-20 10:30:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey if you are pregnant and you're getting married, whats the problem? A baby is the greatest thing that can happen between people. I know it takes time getting used but that baby never asked to be there and no one will ever love a little baby like his mommy
2007-01-18 05:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by Tabby T 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok, i know i will probably get lots of thumbs down's for this answer, but i feel i need to say it because i really feel for u. i am 21 also. i am engaged to be married too. i am not ready for children. i LOVE my fiancee more than anything on this planet and that is why i am marrying him. not so we can have children. i can honestly say that if i were to fall pregnant right now, i wouldnt want to keep the baby. not because i dont love my potential husband, but because i KNOW that i am not mentally or finacially ready for children.
my phylososhy on the situation is that one shouldnt bring a child into the world if it is not fully, wholely and utterly wanted by both parents. peing a parent is not just a mother or father's responsibility. its BOTH together. i have been reading other peoples responses to your question and i think that when they say "ur old enough and in a commited relationship, u should have it" its not fair. its not their judgement call. i am in a very comitted relationship and some day i would love to bring children into my home. but that time is just not yet.
i would advise putting all of ur feelings about this down on paper. i would sit down with ur fiancee and talk through everything u have written down. explain to him that u not wanting to have the baby is not a testiment to the way u feel about him, but just that ur not mentally prepared to become a mother yet.
i know many women out there will be hating my reply, because a child is such a wonderful gift, and not all women can have children... making us look selfish for wanting to abort. i truly believe it is a selfish thing to do to bring a child into the world that u arent mentally prepared to care for. mothers want their children to have the BEST lives they can possibly have. how can u give that 2 ur child if u were unsure of having it in the first place?
i am also speaking from experience. my mother did not want me, but my father did. my mother has resented me for this my whole life and as a result i have missed out on having a wonderful relationship with her.
in saying all of this, i still believe that u should take a moment to look deep inside u. ask yourself if u could love ur beautiful baby because it is something that u and ur fiancee created together? i sign of true love and devotion... i know this situation would be so hard. i have thought about it many many times... just make sure u do the right thing. dont abbort ur baby if u see inside urself some glimmer of hope. if u even want it in a small way, keep that thought alive. maybe u are just scared.... i really feel for u, this is a very hard decision.
i do not in any way want to tell u what to do. it is fully ur decision, i mearly wanted to share my view with you. i hope that i could help in some way. i wish u the very best of luck! =)
2007-01-19 23:21:16 · answer #8 · answered by Beebs 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do what is best for YOU at the end of the day. Don't be pushed into making a decision too quickly but do bear in mind you only have a certain amount of time. Take your time and think hard.
Just know that there is a lot of support out there for you whatever you decide to do.
Good luck.
2007-01-18 05:48:27 · answer #9 · answered by gwen 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Please don't abort the baby. If you do I think you and the daddy will have problems later. It can be a very scary time but its normal to be scared. The two of you can raise this baby together. If you really don't want it consider adoption not abortion. Just remember that baby is a part of you who didn't ask to be conceived and should have the chance to live.
2007-01-18 05:51:46 · answer #10 · answered by hippie_chick69love 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋