I have my husband with 2 sons, but I feel unhappiness because I found I was in fact a lesbian after I lived with my husband for 4 years . To find my true love, I join one great lesbian dating club(http://www.ldate.com/i/lesbianclub) and incredible that I found my soul mate about one month later. She also love me very much. We had a great online chat and I could not wait to have a chat with her face to face. After having a face to face chat with her, she said she could not live without me, she wanted me to marry her asap. I also would like to marry her, but should I desert my husband and two sons? Please tell me how to deal with the problem, I am really in a bad mood and do not know how to do.
2007-01-17 19:49:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
umm wow......if its where your heart is at then go. just make sure your husband understands and you keep in close contact with your sons.you could also tell your husband about the girl and ask him for time to experiment or decide if you really want to be in a lesbian relationship with this girl or in general.whatever you do though dont forget your sons,thats who its going to be the hardest on.
2007-01-17 19:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should tell your husband. It may be hard for him to accept. He may even take it as a personal insult. He may need time to take it all in.
If he is the sort of person who holds grudges, then it may be a while before he even forgives you.
If on the other hand he is a reasonable sort of man, he may prove to be very understanding, and wish you all the happiness.
As for your children, well, children are very adaptable. Given time they will accept the fact that you and their father are no longer together. As long as you are there for them when they need you to be.
If you should decide to deny yourself this chance at happiness, cause you do not want to upset your family, then look at it this way.
By not telling them, you are making yourself unhappier. They will know that you are unhappy, and because you don't want to tell them you will end up hurting them more, cause they will feel left out.
If your family loves you and can get past their feelings of hurt, they will see that your leaving them to be with you soul mate, is a good thing.
Best of luck for the future, and I hope you and your soul mate do find eternal happiness.
2007-01-17 20:06:17 · answer #2 · answered by Spikey and Scruffy's Mummy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah.. I have a sister who fell in love with a woman in the same situation. She left her husband and moved in with my sister. The woman's children (also boys) came to really resent my sister and caused her a lot of pain, not to mention the strain it put in their relationship. They blamed her for their mother leaving their father and never accepted her. In my opinion, if you are going to leave your husband do it because the two of you are not happy but not for someone else. Your children are going to pay the price. Talk to your husband (he married you for better or worse) he, at the very least, deserves to know what is going on.
I think you are being deceitful and need to start thinking about your children instead of asking if you should desert them... NO YOU SHOULDN'T DESERT YOUR FAMILY FOR SOME CHICK ON THE INTERNET! (actually if you are questioning if you should, maybe they would be better off without you)
2007-01-17 19:58:31 · answer #3 · answered by Nickie N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not late... but you are rushing... i'm you are in fact a lesbian, the fealings that you have towards this woman are the same any hetero would have towards another at 16 (first love and all)
i recomend you take a breath, leave your husband don't tell him why just be partially honest say you haven't been happy for a long time. then after you've dated people (met, talked to, had sex with and all) you'll be able to settle. you are just starting out. be pacient and forgett about the religious mumbo jumbo (it will give you a head ache)
2007-01-17 21:35:51 · answer #4 · answered by Angel G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i think that if you need help to choose your kids for a woman then you prbablt need a shrink maybe more. If you do leave your hudband and your kids and marry this other girl then you find out things don't work out, what then? You will have lost your kids,your husband and you will be left in the shadows with nothing.
2007-01-17 19:55:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's never too late to find out that u are lesbian.. the problem for you now is to deal whether u should choose btw ur family and the woman u love.. U ask yourself.. both of them which one is the most important.. if u choose the woman u love.. i'm sugguest u to sit down with ur family.. telling them what's your true feelings is and what u really want... this is better than deserting them,, u know how much is it going to hurt your kids when they found out that their mother deserted them...
2007-01-17 20:08:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip. You made a lifetime commitment to your husband.
You are cheating. You are actively searching for temporary pleasure from someone other than your husband. Give up this sin.
Could you really live without you children. Can you walk away from them forever?
Get off the temporary infautation crack and get back to your family.
2007-01-17 19:55:48 · answer #7 · answered by lovingdaddyof2 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit down and write a list : 2 columns: what you have to gain: and what you have to lose. Then try to work it out from there. In any case it'll be a tough decision.
2007-01-17 19:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stay with your husband and just sleep around with the woman who you claim you want to marry.
2007-01-18 04:19:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if the relationship desired is not local,
do not do it.
no matter what , you have chidren ,
and must be near to them.
if this is not the case , move on.
2007-01-17 19:54:22 · answer #10 · answered by john john 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋