I have my husband with 2 sons, but I feel unhappiness because I found I was in fact a lesbian after I lived with my husband for 4 years . To find my true love, I join one great lesbian dating club(http://www.ldate.com/i/lesbianclub) and incredible that I found my soul mate about one month later. She also love me very much. We had a great online chat and I could not wait to have a chat with her face to face. After having a face to face chat with her, she said she could not live without me, she wanted me to marry her asap. I also would like to marry her, but should I desert my husband and two sons? Please tell me how to deal with the problem, I am really in a bad mood and do not know how to do.
2007-01-17 19:46:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's never too late to find out your a lesbian (or whatever). But don't rush to leave your marriage. It may just be a phase that your going through. Give it time. In the mean time I would encourage you to stop seeing this other woman. It only complicates your situtation when there is another person in the picture.
2007-01-17 20:10:11 · answer #1 · answered by Miss B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't do anything rash. You are a Mother first and foremost. I believe your kids come first before any other relationships. Please get some counselling to sort out some emotional issues. I would find it hard to believe if your husband didn't know your preferences already or at least suspect. I really believe that you think this woman is your "soul mate", but after only a month I think you owe it to your sons and husband and yourself to get some counselling. If this woman "loves" you, then she will understand that she will either have to wait or step aside.
Give everyone, including yourself the gift of an emotionally sound person before making any life-altering changes (your kids!).
Take Care and God Bless you.
2007-01-18 03:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by tublugator08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old your 2 sons are. I'm assuming 4 & under? If so, they are much too young and I'm afraid you'll have to divorce and get 1/2 custody or have an understanding with your husband that you want to be with a woman but still maintain your marriage. That's a tough one!
2007-01-18 03:56:41 · answer #3 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Mary, for me there is a lot of people have the same problem like you. One of them is my friend. Maybe I could help you to give suggestion like I did to my friend. Try to spend more time with your sons, explore your great time together. Talk passionately to your husband. I believe you find more attractiveness factor on her rather than to your husband. That's why you fall in love with her. I believe your heart still in your family, that's why you feel confuse. Do not make a wrong step by marry her, or you will feel guilty by yourself.
2007-01-18 04:18:30 · answer #4 · answered by augustinetina2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it women feel necessary to live a lie. Christ have some balls your a dike. No problem stop playing the old man and move on. Your not doing yourself or any one else any good being miserable. To bad your not BI then maybe you could get the old man interested. If I were your husband I would feel like SH** but in the long run I would always love you for your honesty, if nothing else.
2007-01-18 03:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by Sheb Schebella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you can't fake your feelings and how you feel inside you'd be living a lie. Sometimes we try to follow what the world deams as appropriate but its not appropriate for everyone. Life is short you have to be who you are in side. I'm sure your husband isnt' getting your full love too as your not attracted in that way to him so in a way he's being cheated too out of a loving relationship. its not that either of you have failed in your marriage its just that you realize you have feelings more for the same sex. and that is the way you have been built.
So you will have to re shape your life and unfortunately though it may hurt some people in your life. You can't keep living a lie either you have to be who you are in life. It must be very hard going around faking and putting up fronts. you will feel much better when you can just be yourself and stop hiding behind things.
Good luck to you and your life. be happy life is short.
2007-01-18 03:53:45 · answer #6 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart totally go out for you. It is indeed wonderful to have found soul mate, and I wish you could be happy. Yet, I feel so bad for the kids. Your husband, since he is an adult, could after few years will be fine, but for kids it will break their hearts in to two. They might not even believe in the word 'love' after that. For kids, I wish you go and see family counselor and try to solve this with him/her and your family. Or if she could wait, you could stay with your kids until they are 19 or so. No matter what, this is my opinion, so follow your heart and please do think about your sweet sons a bit. Wishing you the best...
2007-01-18 03:55:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had one conversation with a complete stranger who is demented enough to want to get married based on a non-existant relationship. For this you want to leave your children?
2007-01-18 04:14:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think properly first..or you'll regret just like my ex best friend.
2007-01-18 04:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by Frances 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have her join you and your husband and see if it works
2007-01-18 10:55:37 · answer #10 · answered by hill bill y 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋