My friend has been dating an average-looking, skinny, shy and quiet guy for three months. He looks like a typically "nice" guy, huh? She was into the guy very much. Sometimes she told me the guy took another girl to concert, asked a different one to teach him to play piano and other things like that. I just told her maybe they were just his friends and not to worry. But one day, she came to me and cried, because that guy told her he had a girlfriend in another city. He was very serious about their relationship and would marry that girl one day. I spent a whole night talking to my friend to make her feel better.
But the very next day, she took the guy home and cooked a dinner for him. She was so nice to him as if nothing ever happened. I couldn't understand it at all. Later my friend asked for my opinion and I told directly that I felt sorry for her and hoped she picked up her dignity. She said very nasty things to me.
2007-01-17 19:22:24 · 3 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
For example, She sympasized me a lot because I couldn't have sex as often as her(At that time I was on a long distance relationship with my husband).
Ever since then, we were never like before. Sometimes I'm wondering whether I'm wrong for being so direct. But she asked for my advice. Maybe I should always say "Don't worry" as I used to!
2007-01-17 19:22:43 · update #1
Maybe she's cool with it, and doesn't mind a somewhat open relationship. Maybe she wants him back pretty badly.
Maybe he made up this imaginary girlfriend to play her to make her jealous, saying he'd marry this other girl, so to ramp up the pressure with your friend, forcing her to choose him, now, lest he "Get away, if she doesn't commit now." High pressure tactics.
Women use them all the time.
PS don't give people in the middle of a breakup relationship advice. If they make up, you are out in the cold if you dissed him.
If she asks you what you think, say "you should trust your feelings."
If she asks you no, really.. Tell her "I'm your friend, no matter what." If you feel that, of course.
Listen to her, but don't give advice. Do not bad mouth the guy. She will either wake up and figure it out, or not. Unless of course you are jealous of the relationship between her and him. That sometimes happens, too.
I once dated a girl, her sister just out an out hated me, and said the meanest things to me, just to start fights. then she'd turn around and complain to her sister.. my girlfriend, as to what a jerk I was, always fighting with her. Truth was the sister was in love with my girlfriend, and jealous, when I showed up to mix it up a little bit, it brought out the sister's hidden passion.
Figuring that they were too close, I moved on. *shrug*
2007-01-17 19:47:01 · answer #1 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth hurts but the pain won't change it. You did the right thing, if she won't take an honest look at herself, that isn't your fault. True friends are the ones who accept us completely and the only way to do that is be open and honest on both sides.
2007-01-17 19:39:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you I would have said the same things as well... Some ppl can't accept the truth. Dun worry you said it rite. Your friend will understand sooner or later.
2007-01-17 19:44:48 · answer #3 · answered by th1608 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋