I'm 33, and I've been in my current relationship for about 18months. I thought I had found "the one", and subsequently I proposed after 13 months together. She came out of a six year abusive relationship and we were together straight after. Although she had said she was mentally out of the relationship a year earlier, but had stayed because of the kids. Since then, we have like I said got engaged, and we live together, the kids are on week about, so the ex is still apart of our lives. The last month has not been fun, she is moody, hardly spends time with me, and pretty well stopped being intimitate, saying she is not in the mood. I asked her today if we were okay?she replied I don't know. I was a bit upset, and when I had a chance I checked her cell for messages, and there was one from her ex today, that said "I'm looking forward to it xxxooo, I want you."I don't know what to do. I'm worried if it's inocent, then if I say something then there it ends. But what if it's not. I'm confused
2007-01-17 17:59:39 · 4 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We spoke tonight, well I spoke... I told her all I want is for her to be happy. I told her, we can't go on like it is, and that my heart is hers but I need hers in return. etc etc... I told her I would leave, if things stayed as they were. There were tears, but she wouldn't look at me, and after 20 mins of me talking she walked outside for a smoke, so I left a note on the table that said, my heart is yours,always has been, but I need yours in return"
I'll give her a couple more days, then I'll give her what it seems she wants, I'll leave.
Don't think I can stay in the same area, think I'll have to move. This will crush me for a long time. I really truely love this woman, but as I said to her... I want to grow old with you, but you have to want to grow old with me for this to work.
2007-01-17 19:59:11 · update #1
And so it ended. She has told me she does not want to be in a relationship right now.... I really thought she was the one.
2007-01-18 12:52:12 · update #2
Don't be confused...be smart about your future. It is over with her. There is no doubt she isn't finished with her ex-husband which means she can't start with you. And more importantly; you mustn't start with her.
Tell her what every you fell you need to and then...good-bye. Moody, lack of intimacy and her "I don't know" reply to your question...it reminds me of my divorce 7 years ago when I discovered she was planning to meet an old boy friend at a hotel.
Take my word...she's waiting for you to end it.
Sorry guy but better now than a year after you marry her.
Best of luck....now go finish it.
2007-01-17 18:16:35 · answer #1 · answered by iraq51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have read your question. I reached at the conclusion that she has changed her mind for you. She is no more interested in you. Her ex. has again come in her mind as he is sending messages on her cell phone. He wanted to do XXX and also kids are commong property of both ex. and your g/f. This is tripatrite situation and two husbands and one wife. The ex husband is winner whereas the later is loser. Under these circumstances I advise you to speak with her with clear mind and see what she says?. As you told that she is not mentally inclined to do other stuff with you. No woman if she is sincere with her friend, refuses to do other things, if she is not tied up with other relationship . Here your girl friend is tied with her ex. so she is not in mood to show love with yuou and she is also giving evasive replies to your request s.
2007-01-18 02:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice words you said to her and came from your heart. you sound like your a really loving man and loved her deeply . but your absolutely right you dont' want someone who only loves you a little you want the whole thing . so you did the right thing. I hope for your sake you find a woman who feels the same about you and you will one day. Don't lose your goodness and don't be down about it not all women will be this way.
all the best in the future.
2007-01-18 04:20:36 · answer #3 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you poor thing, her ex is far from gone in her mind. throw her out before she marries you on the grounds that her ex is good enough to sleep with but not good enough to live with, or can't support her the way she wants. If she marries you she'll take half of everything you own, and she'll give it all to her ex. She doesn't have a clue what she wants, but at least now you know who you're dealing with. Sorry for your luck
2007-01-18 02:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋