Here's the situation?

Question

My 15 year old daughter is pregnant by her 17 year old boyfriend. I like to think that my family has class, and this boyfriends family has none. The boyfriends mother thinks that it is soo great that my 15 year old daughter is pregnant!! I'm not all that happy about it, I had my daughter when I was 17 years old and I never wanted that for her because it is going to be hard on her. Anyways, this mother keeps saying how proud she is of her son. Her son hasn't been in school since he was 15 and can't pass the GED test, he doesn't have a job or drivers license. So what is there to be proud of? I'm the one that is going to end up supporting my daughter and this baby. The boyfriends family hasn't offered to help pay for anything!! But the mother and her kids showed up at the doctors office today for the appointment!! I don't think the mother should have any right showing up, if they aren't going to help support (financially). Am I wrong?

Answer 1

Yes. You need to think of the child. What's done is done, and the best thing you can do is to keep peace between the families, and to keep your negative thoughts about the other family to yourself. Is it possible that you could ask them how they are going to financially help the situation? And inform them you will be seeking child support from the father, but do so in a respectful manner. We each live our different lives, and regardless of how you feel about this family, they will be a part of that baby's life. Do your best to keep peace, to not interfere in the relationship between the child and her father and grandparents (on his side). This is a larger issue beyond your feelings... this is another life, that will love her/his father regardless of his faults. Dont do damage to this child or his/her perception of who conceived her/him.

Answer 2

Yes, you are wrong in your thinking.
Have you even started talking to her about it? I mean, come on, it's just as much her baby as it yours. You have to point out that you have a different point of view than her, but you need her to support you daughter a bit.
You thinking your family has class and the bf's doesn't? That's ridiulous. You had a baby at 17, and he hasn't graduated high school. There is a big difference.
Say that even if they can't support your daughter financially, that will be allowed to see the baby, because it is not all your baby.
But, I would suggest that you really ask that the dad support your daughter, even if he has to get a job.

Answer 3

Even if they don't support financially, you should be supporting your daughter first and foremost. I would think that this is hardest on her (I'm sure she's aware of your view on the circumstances). Now, a potential marriage is out of the question just because the boy and his family are obviously a little deluded or something...they don't have a pregnant teenage daughter! Make it CLEAR that you are very disappointed about the situation, and make noise about bills, fees, and money you'll have to pay. If they still choose to act blind about it (they may be trying to act that way to avoid it), get a counselor who knows about who pays what, and take it to court if it's in your favor. But, two things: do NOT have the baby aborted (I'm sure you considered that before your daughter was born!), and make sure she gets LOTS of love! What's most important is the family and holding it together. Some people have to learn this the hard way, but you've gotta make the most of it when mistakes happen. I'm so sorry, and I hope things work out. God bless! ;)

Answer 4

unfortunetly they are your family now! HAHA! I think it would be best to sit your girl, the mom and they boy down and tell them how you feel. Tell them this is not cool! Tell them you expect him to get a job asap to help out with the baby. Go to the store and make a list of what the baby will need and the costs of everything. Go ahead and write some expensive things down to scare the hell out of them. I bet that once this lady sees what its going to cost, she will be thinking twice. Tell her you expect her family to pay fo half of everything. Tell him that once he is 18, that you can get a court order for him to start paying. Tell him you want him to go back to school or get a ged now. Then tell the lady that a doctor visit is private and not a family affair and that only you and your girl will be going. You do not need to tell them when the appointments are. Though I do think it would be alright if the boy went also. You need to involve him as much as you can otherwise he may try to get out of this. Tell them both that you expect them to be married also. Scare the hell out of them. Get videos for your daughter & the boy to watch of a birth or enroll them in classes. Right now they think this is all fun and games but YOU have to be the one to smack them all upside their empty heads and let them know how its really going to be. You do not want to see your daughter and this baby living in a trashy trailor park. Do not let your daughter go out anymore. Tell ehr she needs to be used to having a baby and staying home. No more malls or movies. I am very sorry that this has happened and I wish you the best of luck. Positive thought going your way!!

Answer 5

They still have a right to be in the babys life. YOU also have a right to be a bit mad about this situation. You should talk to his mother and tell her she needs to sign her son up for classes and get him a tutor so he can pass his G.E.D and get a good job. Also tell her that if they down show improvment with financial support then you will have to step it up and take the case to court and get child support.

hope i helped

Answer 6

It's not the mother of the boy's responibilty, your daughter and her son are the one's who share the responiblity. Showing interest means she probably will help out later. And you shouldnt think the boys family doesnt have class, cause you may not have any to them. It's wrong for you to think that, I am sure you wouldnt like it if someone thought that about you. Maybe they cant afford everything you can , but it doesnt make them have no class. If the boy doesnt have any class, its his mothers fault. Aleast him and his family are trying to help, let them!

Answer 7

You get a court ordered paternity test and file for child support. The court will see to it that the b/f pays for his responsibilities. You also encourage him to get his GED and make SURE that your girl finishes her high school education regardless. You know she MUST have it to survive because you won't be here forever.

and, no, I do not think it is proper for the boy's family to go to the dr's office UNLESS they are willing to help financially support the child substantially.

Answer 8

well, unfortunately financial or educational status doesn't negate the fact that they are that babies family. that he is the father. and no state allows a parent to be denied access just for lack of paying child support. it really seems like your daughter is close to the same as her boyfriend. she may still be in school, but financially she isn't able to support her own child either.
unless she has a damn good job its gonna be you or welfare supporting it.

Answer 9

No one is better than anyone. Try to get along for this babys sake. Just love your daughter and her boyfriend and offer as much support as you can. Be an example for his family and maybe they will start to chip in more. Just love them and support them. They're probably scared enough as it is. Try not to worry about the petty stuff like who bought more.

Answer 10

Sounds like have allot on ur plate right now....
u have to say something to his mother.... cause if u don't then it will just get worse over time and that could be really ugly.
Let her know that shes gotta help more... cause we all know that babies can't live off just love!

Good Luck.