This is about the answers that i got back from "how do i tell my boyfriend and parents that i am pregnant"

Question

Why do people judge so quickly

1) you dont know me
2) I have just taken my self off birthcontrol because i was alergic to it.
3) there was a god damn condom. Dont ask my why it didnt work i wasn't expecting it to break so obviously i didnt check and i dont keep them sooo???
4) most of the people that i replied are obviously from america.. Well Canadian life styles are a little different obviously
5) I do know how much it cost to have a child. I had one for 6 months, Kaden's mother(my sister) Got into meth and just that matured me. But as soon as her baby was born she was right back out on the streets I couldnt stand to let him go but i knew the best thing for the baby was adoption so i told the social workers everything that was going on so that he could have the best life possible.


Thanks for getting to know me:@

Answer 1

I'm sorry that people were so cruel to you. :( If you haven't already told your boyfriend and parents, I would tell your boyfriend first. Sit him down, and tell him straight. I would avoid having a fancy dinner or giving him a gift to "butter him up". Just tell him that the two of you are going to have a baby. I would say "we're going to have a baby" as opposed to "I'm pregnant".

Then, the two of you can decide how to tell your parents. I, personally, would tell them together, provided your boyfriend agrees. Then, tell them the same thing. Say, "we're going to have a baby soon". If your parents are very conservative, it will probably be hard, but you have to do it sooner or later, and it's better to get it over sooner.

Most parents, regardless of how judgemental they are, will be happy to find out that they are going to be grandparents. They may be angry at first, but the anger will fade, esspecially when they meet their grandbaby.

You may want to wait until your 12 weeks before you tell your parents. The risk of miscarriage is much smaller after that. I would go ahead and tell your boyfriend now, though. He can be a great source of emotional support during this time. I certainly hope he will be.

Answer 2

People on the internet can be jerks, its a fact of life and something you need to brace for when you ask a personal question of a sensative nature.

That said, have you found a way to tell them? If not, I would suggest that you talk to your boyfriend first, see if he wants a part in this at all and try and come up with a gameplan for after the baby comes. You need to finish school- where will the baby be while you are there. Will your paycheck cover the cost of daycare? You need to layout a plan to pay for as much of this babies costs as you can before you talk with your parents since you seem to think that you are very mature (and I am hoping you are, I am not trying to take a stab at you) you need to be financially responsible for your baby as much as possible.

You said you are in Canada, and I believe health care is free to everyone there, right? So at least that is covered. When you have a plan with your boyfriend, or without him, you should sit your parents down and calmly tell them. If they are understanding, they will no doubt be sad and surprised. They will need some time to let this sink in, 14 is so very young to have a baby and I am sure they will not be expecting it. You may want to add that you took precautions but they failed. Be sure and tell them that you will finish your education and you want to be responsible for this baby.

Having helped your mom take care of your nephew is definitely a help (I do not believe that you alone took care of this child, how could that be possible?) and gives you a slight idea of what being a parent means, but it is very different when its your own. This baby will never go away. He or She is yours through all of your youth. You will not be able to enjoy being a child, and a girl of your age needs about 10 hours of sleep a night. You will be lucky to get 6. I know you are already pregnant, and I am glad you are not going to abort, but perhaps adoption is the best option for your little one as well? Its a very hard and very personal decision you will have to make, and hopefully you will make it in that baby's best interest. Hopefully your Mom and Dad will be there for you for a while.

You know your situation and yourself better then anyone here does. As a rule a 14 year old is in no way equipped emotionally to be a mother. That is most likely why you received such harsh responses. Good Luck to you, take all the help you can and listen to your parents. They love you and they will have the best advice.

Answer 3

If you really are as mature a young lady as you say you are, you won't even give those answers a second thought. That's just the way some people are. They judge you before they even try to understand your situation, even if you've described it, and what their opinions are is completely contrary to the actual situation. For example I am 21, and married and ask about how to resolve some conflicts, because i want things to work out for me and my family. I get responses that I am too young to be married and i should leave my husband and son and find another man later on to start a family with. Don't worry about people like that. Just give their answer a thumbs down and read and choose between the ones that gave you real advice. Good luck. (and i know what u mean about the americans, but some of us canadians can be that way too!)

Answer 4

I wasn't judging you, and you didn't mention birthcontrol failing..so I apologize for that statement. So I'll rephrase my answer... Just tell your parents the truth then, I mean seriously it's not your fault that it didnt work. Hopefully they will be understanding, and not upset with you and if they do it won't last too long. Another thing is there are a lot of mean people on here so that's one of the risks you take when you post an question, good luck to you and like I said before I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 5

That's the problem with forums: you get a lot of opinions including some of the unwanted variety. It's particularly annoying if you have something of particular importance requiring decorum - some people just lack that. Preganancy is a hot topic and people have strong opinions on birth control, wedlock and child rearing. There's no right answer, but there is one that suits you AND you have the option of selecting the best answer first and give thumbs down to those you answers that you think suck.

Hope it doesn't discourage you from asking more questions or helping out someone else by answering one yourself.

Answer 6

People judge quickly because that is just human nature to do so.

1. *waves* nice to meet you!
2. That sucks, I was off of birth control for 10 years before I had my baby.
3. Condoms are not 100%, accidents happen :)
4. Probably not as different as you think. :P
5. You did the best thing for the child, I know it must have been hard on you.

I didn't see your original question, but I hope you found the courage to tell them. Blessings to you!

Answer 7

No one has the right to judge u. Yes 14 is way to young, but that doesnt nessisarily mean u cant do this. its ganna be hard, but props to u for being willing. hell, im 26 and pg by my 2nd husbands brother. sounds really bad, but to those who know me and the full situation this baby is not a mistake just a totally unplanned event that will now shape mylife and yes everyone that knows me is confident in my parenting skills. be honest and upfront with everyone. let them rant and rave at u to get it out of thier system. its a shock to bf and parent at any age trust me. and ask them for thier help and support. being a "single" mom is NOT easy. good luck and stay strong. remember, no matter waht, baby comes first from here on out!!

Answer 8

I didn't see your last question, but I have had the same thing happen to me on here. Many people have judged me because my boyfriend and I have decided to have a baby before we got married. We did this with everything well planned out, not just because.

but forget all of that. just be happy, you have a little miracle inside you. i am young, and some people give me bad looks because I am pregnant. But I couldn't be more proud of this daughter I am about to bring into this world!!!

Btw... congrats!

Answer 9

Ididnt see the previous question, but dont let other people bug you. People are quick to judge, Im not going to lie I do too, but that is the thing about the internet, people can be whoever they want behind a computer screen. I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy. Good Luck.

Answer 10

i didn't answer your other ouestion,i will try to answer this one,i live in toronto and there is alot of agencies here that can help you whether you decide to keep the baby or not,yes 14 is young to have a baby ,but it can be done,tell your parents and boyfriend so that they can help you decide what to do,then go from there if you decide to have it,go to the dr.s and start a healthy diet for yourself and baby,you can still work or attend school till the baby comes,and after if you want,main thing is to take care of yourself and make decisions that you are happy with
goodluck!