So there is this girl that I have been friends with for like 2 1/2 years and now that we both can drive we try to hang out more. So I will call and ask her to go to the movies and she will say yes and i called her 15 min before the movie started to confirm and she tells me she cant go. She didnt even bother to call and cancel. But the one that happend today that put me over the edge...I had an extra ticken to go to a rally for a good cause (included bus ride to CA a few hour away) and asked if she wanted to come. She told me that sounded great and she would as. I needed to know ASAP so i waited like 2 days and called she said she would call back after she asked. I waited 2 hrs and called her and she sais oh yah my mom said no. I find it apalling that she cant even call as soon as she finds out to tell me the answer. What do I do about her. These are not the only times, there are several? Do I confront her? Does she just not care? Is she even my friend?
Thanks!
2007-01-17 17:17:18 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I hate flaky people! It's not hard to just say 'no' if you don't want to do something with someone. I've had friends like this and I can honestly say, the best thing you can do is just end the friendship. She's disrespecting you over and over and that is NOT a friendship. More than likely, she probably considers you a friend but she's self absorbed that does not make a good friend. You could bring it up to her but she'll probably have some lame excuse for every time she canceled. Best to cut your loses and not return her calls. In my experience with people like this, they don't change even if you tell them that their actions hurt your feelings. Don't bother calling her anymore. Show her the same level of decency she's showing you...none! Make other friends, ones that will respect you and not waste your time.
2007-01-17 17:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh I HATE that.
The ONLY excuse that will be acceptable is if her home life is not up to scratch and there are things happening to affect her. But really it sounds as though she is just selfish.
Do you think you might be able to talk to her about it? Explain to her how it feels to be let down at the last minute. Explain to her that if she wants to be your friend that you want her to at least let you know if she cant make it somewhere so that you can ask somebody else.
Either she is very selfish OR she has a serious lack of respect for you, and doesnt care whether she offends you or not.
Either way, it is time to assess this friendship. You need to be able to rely on a friend. Perhaps you should invite other people instead. You sound like a real 'doer' - someone who likes to go out and do fun things - you shouldnt have trouble finding someone else who would be grateful for the invite.
All the best.
2007-01-17 17:27:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should just save activities that require planning for your more reliable friends and do more spontaneous, on the spot things with this friend.
She might catch a hint if she suddenly realizes that you don't invite her to go do things with her anymore.
2007-01-17 17:24:46 · answer #3 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
confront her, and let her know what you think. and also if the person doesn't want to change let them know you won't waste your time on them if they're not even going to be courtious to you.
I ahd a friend who did this and I wasted tons of time on her, I finally got fed up and started treating her the same way, well lets just say that's not the way to handle it because they'll get very mad... let her know it's the fastest way.
2007-01-17 19:43:06 · answer #4 · answered by Gray Fox 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop inviting her to do anything else if you don't want your time wasted.. some people can be like that. or maybe she doens't like you that much so she's not giving your invitation any priority. good friends don't treat each other like that. be nice to her still but cut out on the invitations a bit..
2007-01-17 17:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like your friend is more concerned with herself than she is with anyone else...friends like these are not the best kind to have...i would continue to be nice to her...say hi and bye and go on about your bisness...dont ask her to go to anymore hang outs with you. find another friend that is more courteous to you...this gal is stuck on herself. Find you a better friend...and let this one go...but be nice and dont say anything...this will show your class..Good Luck
2007-01-17 17:43:57 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
stop asking her to go places with you.... find someone else to have a good time with and when she sees what shes missing mabe she will think twice about doing that to you..
2007-01-17 18:42:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let her know how you feel. if it were me in your situation i would stop inviting her. Take someone who would appreciate the invitation.
2007-01-17 17:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by scorpia692003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Confront her.
2007-01-17 17:20:02 · answer #9 · answered by mattymomostl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋