im really confused and embarassed... =[ something hapened to me today...?

Question

my mom came home for an early unexpected unch break.. and caugthmy bf and i you know.... we are of legal age.. (im 19) she walked in. asked what i was doing. and asked if my bf was here. she knew. a while later she came into my room and started to ask us questions "were you guys doing the nasty!?" it was so embarassing! and she gave us permission too as long as her or my younger brother werent home! (thats what i think is really weird!) i was crying casue i felt liek i disappointed her. even t though our relationship (mother and i's) isnt a good one.. we hardly talk... i was cryign cause i thought she would ban by bf from ever coming over again (weve been dating for over 2 years) and shed kick me out.. but the complete opposite happend.. she just told us to use protection.. i spent the day at work doing hw cause i idnt want to see her cause i dont knwo what to do!

what should i do. t hings are so akward now and i wanted to have start to have a nice relationship with her =[

i just dont know what to do or say.. im afraid shell come in at any minute and want to know all of the details..and all. im just so embarassed. how do i overcome this?


i thougth she would kick me out of the house. but she actually gave me permission to! thats whats so akward.... =\ i feel liek i disappointed her cause i alwasy told her i would wait till i was married and first thing she said to my bf and i was "so much for you guys wating till you were married"


and please dont lecture me and judge me and tell me i shoudl have waited

thank you.

i think she did wait till she was married. she went to catholic school and everything.. her parents were hardcore catholics... lol

my bf was the one taht talked to her.. she dint seem mad at either of us.. she invited us to come eat pork sandwhiches with her afterwards! TALK ABOUT AKWARD!! but we decided to stay huddled in my room till she left..lol

we always use protection and im on the pill as well....

Answer 1

Your mom is a cool and a very wise lady. If she came in and read you the riot act or kicked you and your bf out, what would you have done? I know, you would've acted out- maybe even left, threatened that you were going to see him no matter what, and what would all those mean words between the two of you have accomplished? NOTHING. I have two daughters, 22 and 26. We never had the "sex" talk other than in 5th grade after the sex movie. We are also catholic. I KNOW my oldest is still a virgin and is getting married this June- and she is living with her fiance! Virgin by the terminology of the word only I'm sure, and that's fine- my youngest, I dont believe she is, she is very much like you, very sensitive and sensitive people need closeness to the ones they love or they think they love at the time. It doesn't matter to me what they do as long as they are SAFE. It is THEIR LIVES as your mom feels you have YOUR own life. She understands that there really is nothing she can say or do that can take back what already has been done nor stop anything from happening again, and she doesn't want that responsibility because honestly, THAT IS NOT OUR JOBS AS PARENTS. We educate, advise and guide you and the decisions and consequences are your life experiences that you need to make on your own in order to grow into a fully functional wonderful loving young woman.

Don't avoid your mom--- when you see her again, go up and hug her, if you feel like it, cry. If there are any questions about anything you want to know ask your mom--- she is nonjudgemental- she already proved that to you, and her behavior will help you grow into a loving and understanding person. I commend your mom for taking the "high rode" in this situation, and I know I would have done the same.

Answer 2

Hey, first of all sex is completely natural, there is nothing you should be embarrased about.
Communication is what is affecting the relationship between your mother and you. Try talking to her about how your sexual experience and start a whole new conversation/relationship from this. Also be completely honest and tell her if something she says makes you uncomtrable. Sometimes parents do and say wrong things(they don't really mean) for trying so hard to push their children in a safe way, without taking the time to give them the right information. It is obious that she loves you and that there is a 99.9% chance that she will understand. I can already tell you that she is going to ask questions, because she wants to make up for all the time she didn't spend with you.
Give her a chance and give yourself a chance to talk with her also, let her know what you feel. Make sure your boyfriend knows about this also and if your not comfortable having sex anymore, at least in your house, just stop. This will be the respectful thing to do(respect for your home).

I believe that when you fall inlove and feel that is the right time to make love, it is always the right thing to do. Marriage is just a bounch of papers, some people that wait until marriage gets divorced, since most of them want to trie something new. Of course you have to be ready do, having sex comes along with a lot of responsabilities, remeber that. The main reason why she wanted you to wait was mainly because she wanted you to be stable incase of an accident (which is the first thing that pops up into a parent's head, when they hear your having sex). Hey she might even give you some tips about protection.

Answer 3

Wow, that is embarrassing and I am sorry that happened!
But I think that you are lucky that your mom reacted the way that she did. You are 19 and you are an adult... I think she knows that there isn't much she can do about it and I am sure she would rather have you doing it where she knows you are safe.
Just use protection like she said.
The awkwardness will wear off, don't worry. If you feel bad then apologize to your mom and talk to her about your fears.
It will get better, don't worry.

Answer 4

At least your mom wasn't mad!

The best thing you can do (if she brings it up) is make jokes. My mom and I have always been open about this kind of thing and have had a good relationship. I'd tell you to have a grown up conversation with her about it, but it sounds like you'd rather not. She probably doesn't quite know what to do either and I'm assuming would rather forget about it, for better or worse.

Answer 5

sounds like your mom is reaching out to you as more of an equal, or a friend now. She recognizes that you are growing up, and she can't ignore that any longer...Just talk to her, don't offer any details, just hide behind the "no kissing and telling" rule...I am sure that she would not want to discuss her details with you, so she probably won't bring up the subject, and you shouldn't either. Just talk with her, and see how things go...you already know she didn't take it badly.

Answer 6

That's really different. It sounds like she is trying to be more of a friend instead of a mom. I guess since you are not in high school she won't get over excited but still it was in her house. Since you said your relationship has been strained, maybe she didn't wan to come off as being overbearing or something. good luck.

Answer 7

You are 19, is there a reason why your mom would expect any different?
Did she expect you to wait to have sex until married? If not then I don't see why your making a big deal out of it.
Sure its embarassing but its natural, unless there was a hamster or something else involved.

Answer 8

I'm not gonna lecture you on being married before having sex, that never happens, and I'd be a hypocrite...But honestly, you shouldn't be having sex in your mom's house. I never have, and this is exactly why. A lot of girls have gone through this, and you'll get back to normal with your mom, but try and look at it from her shoes. She probably felt extremely awkward that she walked in you, and just wanted to seem "cool" in front of your b/f.

I've honestly always thought it was disrespectful of kids to have sex in their parent's house. Just my opinion, but if you do that, then be prepared for the consequences.

Answer 9

Your mom used to (or maybe still does) like to bump uglies. Everyone does it, you're of age as long as you use protection its all good. Besides alot of have been caught before. My mom caught me once when I was in my teens and didnt tell me till like 10 years later. I think she just wants you to be smart about what you do and don't corrupt your little brother.

Answer 10

It's alright, your mom understands what it means to be in love and have sexual desire - that is how you came to be. It's not as unusual as you might think.

She is trying to be cool and give you all the space you need to finish growing up in your own way. Just make good decisions for yourself and try not to let her down. You are a lucky young lady to have a mom like that.