Do people believe in long lasting marriages anymore??

Question

If you have been married for more than 20 yrs tell me your secret. What was the hardest obstacle you had to overcome that almost led to a break-up but eventually was triumphant?

Answer 1

I have been married for almost 10 years but we have been together for 13. One of our biggest obstacles was the Ex's (both) Mine did everything he could to try to sabotage my relationship ( He showed up at our wedding to try to stop it) and my husbands ex wanted him back so badly that she tried to seduce him one night while he was at work. My dear hubby is such an honest man, he called me right away and I went and had some not so nice words with her. We haven't heard from her since.. Unfortunately my ex is still in the picture as we do have a child together but hopefully he has figured out that I am not coming back to him.
Be honest with each other always, even if it will hurt.
Date each other, we have a date weekend every month, it takes a bit of organizing ( 4 kids) but it is important to take time out to be a couple.

Answer 2

I don't think that too many people believe in long marriages anymore. Everyone wants the simple way out. Why try to work through your problems when it seems easier to divorce. In my eyes the only 2 reasons why anyone should get divorced are
1. Cheating
2. Beating

Those 2 things are pretty much unforgivable to me. A relationship is highly based on trust, if not all of it. If he beats you or cheats on you, how will you ever trust him again. He is suppose to protect you and be your best friend. These days couples split because he leaves the toilet seat up, or she parks to close to the right of the garage. Small stupid things. My parents have been together 40 years and believe me it wasn't all a bed of roses. No matter how mad they were, they always kissed each other goodnight. I admire that. I'm in a relationship for 7 years now and there are nights he'd be so lucky if I didn't kick him in the *ss before we go to sleep. Hopefully you find a long lasting love, I hope I have. I think I have.:)

Answer 3

We have been married for nearly 13 years. There have been some peaks and many valleys. The tough times can either make you stronger or break you. I don't know if there is a secret. Honesty and compromise will get you through alot. Being married is like anything else worth while. It is a lot of work and a full time job from which you never punch out. If you go into it with the idea that you get what you give, you will be disappointed. I think you have to pick your battles. You can't let everything become a black and white issue. Also, both people have to be truly committed to the marriage and making it work.

Answer 4

I am 31 and have been married 13 years this year, I got married at 19 and we have 5 children together. We have our moments but we don't ever plan to get divorced. We married not for the sake of being married but because we love each other and made a commitment to each other and our children. There have been many times where things have gotten a bit tough and we could have called it quits but thats too easy a marriage will only work if you can both work throug the tough times. I don't want to ever get divorced I believe that my husband and I will be together forever. It will not always be a bed of roses but that what marriage is all about. You learn about each other all the time and its only now that me and my husband are learning to make time for each other because with 5 kids it isn't easy, even a couple of days a week and it has made such a difference and we just seem to be much happier. But you just have to work through the tough times and I think you will then last forever.

Answer 5

I have been married 26years and together 27 years. It is very HARD to make a marriage last. It has been no bed of roses but if you BOTH are determined to make it last then you'll both find a way to overcome your obsticles, even infedelity and little things that seem to add up to a big blow up or BIG things that may seem that you two may never get over. Also, don't ever turn your back on trying alternative things to try in your marriage. Some things may work for others and may not work for you and visa-versa. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Yes, there are still people out there who believe in long lasting marriages. I am not married but seeing and sharing life with the married people closest to me, i can say - it takes two to tango, the goal to stay married forever is a teamwork, save the marriage at all costs, the journey of a thousand mile begins with a single step and that first step is picking the right person who shares the same values with yours.

Answer 7

We have been married for 16 years, Never have done a lot of fighting, but our answer is communication, Say what you have on your mind. Never go to bed or leave while still angry. Our hardest obstacle was my husbands family moved in with us for a short time. During that time, things got stressed, but as soon as they moved on, so did the stress...

Answer 8

I'm married 30 1/2 years to a wonderful loving man. He saw me walking down a street and told his friend that he was going to marry me. He noticed I was wearing a nurses uniform and he knew ONE person in the medical building that I worked in. As fate would have it, that ONE person knew me and she called me and set up a lunch date- she did not let me know that I was meeting a guy, just her--- see, girls are ALWAYS jealous-- she knew I wouldn't be looking my best--- but I met him, and I really didn't like him at first, and that was because I was fuming the whole lunch over the "setup" that I wasn't privileged to know about thanks to my supposed "friend". I gave him the benefit of the doubt and went on a second date- and I literally fell in love with him just like that.....2 1/2 years later married- we never broke up during our dating, and we never had the "wondering eye" syndrome in our marriage. I think what has saved our marriage all these years is the fact that I have always felt that I have the "upper hand", no, I don't rule the house--- not that I let him know it, but the guys weekly night out stopped when we got married by him, not me. Yes, we did and still do go out occasionally without eachother, but honestly, WE ARE BEST FRIENDS, and to me, I think that is the essential key to a longlasting loving marriage. Along with respect-- you must respect your spouse and stand by them no matter what.... and we have been through some horrendous life stressors, job loss, 5 deaths, major illness. Now we're looking forward to my oldest daughter's wedding and maybe a grandchild down the way. My youngest daughter is 22 and I enjoy going to visit her - she lives in a big city and is 2 1/2 hrs away. She's my "baby" and my husband KNOWS she comes first in my life- hands down and that's okay, because he knows that she too will find a guy and marry and I will be all his again.....give and take.....it is hard, really, really, hard--- but isn't everything in life that is worth anything that way?

Answer 9

I am a nurse and I have seen couples in their 70th year of marriage holding the hand of the other still with love and respect for each other. I think that's when the true meaning of long lasting is proven. If the time together, short or long last to death do us part. Sorry but it has to be looked at on a one to one.

Answer 10

Married 31 years and still happy.

Our hardest obstacle was to understand how we communicated our feelings...which for each of us was very different.

Our secret is.... from the very beginning we knew we wanted our marriage to be happy, loving and forever. So we do whatever we need to do to make that happen....our being happy and together is more important than anything or anybody else.

And for us it works.