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I am in love with a very special and VERY attractive woman. The problem is 1. I sometimes get really concerned that she is much to attractive to be with a guy like me. I don't consider myself ugly but average and she is drop dead gorgeous. 2. I have a bad track record for long term relationships and I find myself walking on eggs to make sure that I don't mess this up. I am so head over heals in love with this woman I would do anything for her but I am afraid that she might think I am a push over. I do stand up for myself and she does see the real me but the bottom line is I am scared out of my mind that I will find some way unconciously to screw it up.

2007-01-17 16:33:26 · 8 answers · asked by John N 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

8 answers

So sorry to hear that you are going to let your low self esteem ruin your relationship. If you want to save this one, I would work on yourself. Look at the reasons why you think you don't measure up. Why you feel like you need to walk on eggshells. Why you think she might perceive you as a push over. Why you are scared. Once you have figured out how to boost your selfworth, then your girl and you will have a fabulous life.

2007-01-17 16:51:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

I'm sorry you are living out a co-dependent pattern. I have done this a 1000 times. The advice to work on yourself is the best advice. Also walking away from a situation in which you will lose yourself is also excellent advice.
As long as you continue to see someone else as superior to you, you will continue to have dysfunctional relationships. Healthy women want an equal, a man who will appreciate and treat them with repect, not a servant or a child.
Initially getting treated like royalty feels good for a woman but she soon tires of it and desires an equal that will challenge her, share real thoughts and intimacy, and most importantly have a life and an identity of his own.

I believe it was Lee Kuan Yew that said "There can be no partnership between unequals."

2007-01-17 18:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by S. Schaefer 2 · 0 0

Ok, first of all, don't walk on egg shells. Remember, the "new" always wears off. She may be drop dead gorgeous all her life, but that doesn't mean that you'll never get tired of her or visa verse. You may make it work for a while walking on egg shells, but you will eventually get comfortable and let lose. Isn't it better to make sure she is into the real you? People can only hold back so long. It's better to find out sooner rather than later if you are compatible.

2007-01-17 16:47:17 · answer #3 · answered by mccmb02 2 · 1 0

You are in a heap of trouble.

A very smart adviser once told me that if you find yourself losing yourself in someone else, run away as fast as your legs can Carry you.


The fact is looks change over years, as do body types. Have you considered she likes you for you, and looks to her are not as important as personality/ Why do you put yourself down?

And walking on eggshells? For what? If This does break up, you will cry, then Be relieved. You can never ever lose yourself in someone. IN fact, What might be a great idea is to have a boys night out and to skip a night. She will survive and so ill you. If she wants to date someone else, then you know it want' serious for her. You NEED someone who will be your BEST FRIEND in a relationship. Don';t macho out this thing,. Be vulnerable and real. Everyone has fears. Do not put her on a pedestal, for she will feel smothered and isolated. Express true feeling in a nice way.


Read Don;t Say Yes When You Want To Say NO.

2007-01-17 16:51:51 · answer #4 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 1 0

it may no longer sense like it - heart discomfort is painful different sensible it would not be called an discomfort. there's no problem-free way out of it - the in common words way is through it. how one might want to get over someone is to encompass your self with good acquaintances and individuals that love ou and could be there for you - have some good cases and chuckle even f you imagine you isn't in a position to do it - in basic terms attempt to bypass out and function a robust time. belongings you're taking out of your existence ought to get replaced with something else _ i'm no longer declaring get a clean female chum, even though it may help ease the discomfort that isn't any longer a answer, yet you should change the time and are available up with the money for you spend jointly with her with something else - see you later because that is relaxing, you receives over the discomfort faster

2016-10-15 09:40:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

you can not be scared and try to act like someone else. You need to be yourself and she will love you for who you really are_

2007-01-17 16:48:46 · answer #6 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1 0

You need to be more secure and remember she is with you so that is a good thing... Love and cherish her and count your blessings.

2007-01-17 16:40:10 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1 0

scared of love = scare those hurts

be brave to love, be brave to get hurts, that's the way how we grow up

2007-01-17 16:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by chloe 5 · 0 0

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