why my son rude to me?

Question

i love my children very much .sometimes they say also that i 'm a good mother but still i feel they dont understand me well. at times , they r very rude also .i treat them like my freinds help them out of thier problems but many times in the process i found they misunderstand me .it hurts to see that u r trying ur best to do ur duties and still ur own ppl dont understand u !tell me why?

Answer 1

It's nice that u're treating your son as a fren. But don't forget who's in charge after all. If he misbehaves or is rude, deal with him sternly. You have to let him know that u'll be his fren when he shud be treated like one, otherwise u'll always be his mom first. Never show his that u're disheartned or sad with his actions, cos then he will feel that he has a mark over you. show him that u're not a person he shud mess with. Luv him with all your heart but be stern. Don't let him run you down

Answer 2

The product of Me and my husband should contain something which is in me or my hubby. How can we expect a product which contain something else i.e. some qualities which are not in us. First of all, Nothing is wrong with anyone, sugar is sweet to us, not to itself, so this is your feeling and not contained within your children. Try to do just how they need you to be. NEED & WANT try to difrenciate these two. NEED is that without which we cannot live, WANT is that without which we can live. [example : we need a fan and we want an AC]. there is nothing wrong in the creation, let them be like that but you should love them, the true love is looking at the enjoyment and feeling happy and accepting any type of behaviour from them but this is only to the mother. for this the best solutions are given in riths if you are a muslim, and bible if you are a cristean and in geetha if you are a hindhu.

Answer 3

Did you know that we still have not understood the GOD fully and yet sometimes we are blaming him?

Keep the hope alive. Be patience. Kids are expected to behave childish. Once they are enough they would definitely understand you and be proud of you.

"Love everyone like your child" Dalai Lama.

Off course you know the choice is yours and you alone face the consequences for the choices you make.

You will be influenced by lover, friend, relative, neighbours and even strangers but end of the day choice is yours. You make the choice and you face the consequences.

Answer 4

It sounds like you're being too much of a friend and not enough of a parent. Kids are gonna be rude sometimes, it's just a fact of life. But it's how you handle it that makes the difference. You say that you treat them like your friends ... that's mistake #1! You should set rules and stick by them. If they choose to break those rules, it's not your fault. Believe me, they need structure in their lives, no matter how old they are. If they don't get it, it's a very real possibility that they will encounter some problems later on in life that they won't be able to get you to fix for them. Don't allow them to manipulate you ... and don't ever think it's too late to do anything about it. It doesn't matter if they are 5, 15 or 25 ... if they're living with you, they've got to follow rules. Remember, it's your house. Always let them know you love them, but you won't give in to them. It'll be hard, especially since you've basically established a pattern that they have obviously come to expect as the Way of the World ... but believe me, you can do it. The biggest mistake you can make is to try to get your children to 'understand' you. I suspect they may already understand you ... but if not, they will. Right now they see somebody who won't stop them from doing whatever they want. If I'm wrong, please correct me ... but I think they see a ******! I know, I've had 3 nieces, and felt just as helpless as you. My problem was my mom, who basically protected my nieces from me whenever I'd try to correct or punish them. It was hard for me, because I'm so close to their ages that they never really saw me as an adult. My oldest niece, who is 24 now, used to run screaming behind my mom every time I tried to get ahold of her. She would cry real 'crocodile' tears, and I would stare at her amazed, but knowing I couldn't do anything. When I remind her about it today - we talk long - distance - she laughs and admits that she did that on purpose, and that she drew out those fake tears on purpose ... but, guess what? Whenever she has a problem, I'm usually the first one she calls. Even though I wasn't as soft on her as her grandma and her auntie, she knows that I cared. And every lesson I tried to teach her, she remembers. Things I swore went in one ear and out another, she actually heard it ... and she puts it into practice! Times she said abusive and hurtful things to me, she was acting out because she wasn't getting her way. And your kids will probably do the same thing. Just be patient, don't show them you're hurting, and be firm. It'll come back to you, believe me. In 10 or 15 years, they'll have become better human beings because you learned to say 'no'.

Answer 5

Sometimes parents try too hard to be their child's friend and they aren't focusing on the fact that your children need to have parents too. If there is a miscommunication ask them what they thought you meant so you can fix it yet still get them to do what it is you asked of them. You are the adult and if they are rude find a way to punish them. They are to respect their elders...stop being their friend all the time and step up and be a parent!

Answer 6

I was pretty rude with my mother growing up because I didn't agree with some of the things she did or I didn't like who she was dating now I'm 27 and we couldn't be closer I realized as long as she's happy that's all that matters I don't have to agree with everything she does and she doesn't have to agree with everything I do but no matter what you're always there for each other I sure as your child gets older he will realize how important you are and will treat you better.

Answer 7

You might treat them too much as friends. They still have to understand that you are the mom, and they are the kids.
Try to set strict lines (I know it is sooo hared, and sometimes so much easier to let things go), tell them what is expected of them, that you will help them with whatever, but also, if they do not do what's expected or treat you badly, they will be punished...I have been working on this very hard with my daughter, who started to become very rude to me, and now she is doing much better...

Answer 8

You're not supposed to treat your children like friends! When you do that, they believe that they're equal to you and will walk all over you as they are doing now.

Treat them the way a parent should, YOU are the one who is superior.

Answer 9

It sounds like you are a single parent, one of the common follies of single parents is to try to be their children's friend instead of being the parent. This deprives children of a proper source of discipline and structure.
What you need to do is re-establish your authority. To do this you are going to have to set down clear rules of behavior, with consequenses if they are not followed. Most importantly you will need to be CONSISTANT. You also need to develope relationships other than with your children to discuss your issues with. Exercising proper roles will fix a lot of the problems you are having with your family. I hope this helps and Good Luck.

Answer 10

Treating them like or trying to be their friend is your problem...you are not their friend, you are their mother. You can love, support, and guide them as a confidant and still act as their mother. They're rude because you allowed the mother/friend line to become blurred. My 3 year old will occassionally tell me "you're not my best friend anymore." and already my reply is "good, I'm your mother and I love you but you WILL listen to me!" :-)