I turned 26 at the end of November and realized that I am four years to 30 and havent had a boyfriend since April of 2001 (I also haven't had intercourse although I have had oral sex with that boyfriend who dumped me in April of 2001; neither of us were ready for actual sex back then)
I'm on a few dating sites and I am trying to tell myself to just go out with these guys and have a good time but it seems like I'm just so delayed .... I am not waiting until marriage (because who knows, I could get married at age 45) but just for a sweet and funny guy who will respect me and wait a few months to get to know me before we jump into bed.
Any advice/feedback would be appreciated.
2007-01-17 15:52:41 · 15 answers · asked by Rebecca M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Go to places where you would expect to meet the kind of guy you are looking for. In other words, places where there are hobbies, sports, gardening classes or etc. that you like and would like in a boyfriend or life long mate.
Do not ever mention to anyone that you have already had oral sex under any circumstances. Many good men will consider you trash for doing so without being legally married, believe it or not. I personally think you are a fool for saying it to thousands of strangers on this forum.
2007-01-17 16:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by Comanchero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not rush yourself and when you end up having sex all the way make sure is with someone special. Fall in love 1st by getting to know each other and than have sex. Sex is great when both individuals have deep feelings for each other. If you have sex for just having sex you will feel empty (emotionally).
From experience: When you are in love just being together with your special person produces euphoria. Having sex and making love which are two different things is the ultimate with the right person. The only thing that hurts is the absent of love (separation by death as an example).
The person that has a genuine interest in you will wait and not rush you into being intimate until you are ready. Respect and communication are crucial for developing a great relationship. Your soul-mate can be very close to you so take it slow and open your doors.
You are not alone, there are other virgins male and female. Today finding a virgin is to find a real special person, someone so unique because most people do not value themselves and become promiscuous when they are emotionally immature (very young age).
2007-01-18 00:19:53 · answer #2 · answered by Abby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about it. If you are female, which it sounds like you are, then it is not a big deal. Hey you don't have any STDs. You aren't dying of AIDs so think that way.
He was gay if he didn't want to have sex with you back then, seriously. Because NO man ever NOT wants to have sex.
Just get out there and meet a man. DO NOT have a one night stand. Hang out with friends, have them set you up. Or look for a man at work or try online dating sites or go to a city and try one of those 5 min dating things, where you meet like 20 SINGLE men in like 20 min. Get involved in your community, take up a new hobbie, whatever you can to expose you to more single men.
Do not tell the man you are a virgin until at least 2 dates later. Do not have sex with any man until after SEVERAL dates. Make sure you know the man and he doesnt have an STD. Assume everyone has STDs. Because millions do have them.
Oh and learn all about a woman's body, like the parts. Because even if you think you know your body, you dont until you start having sex. I didnt start having sex until I almost turned 22.
You will not go forever without having sex, as long as you get out there and meet some new men. Talk about this with your friends. Get someone to set you up.
Dont hold back. Not having intercourse, as a woman, isnt a big deal because you CAN have sex with any man if you wanted to just have sex. Just remember that for a man sex just feels good but for women it is typically a good feeling BUT also gives you an emotional connection, feeling to that man. So find someone that loves you or at least really likes you before you have sex. Good luck. And dont stress about it.
2007-01-18 01:37:01 · answer #3 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing you have to do is stop feeling insecure about your sexuality. Go watch the 40 year old virgin and learn to laugh st yourself once in awhile. Whn you feel more confident about yourself, the men will become more attracted..
All you can really do is put yourself out there. Go out on a few dates and weed out the dandilions from the marigolds. There are some nice guys out there who are prolly just as shy and anxoius about sex. Keep it light and keep it fun. Be honest. Be upfront. And always control the situation. It might take some time, but the right guy will show up sooner or later. Just do not spoil yourself on men, because ya might throw him back if your blinded by emotions.
Good luck =')
2007-01-18 00:02:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mr Mojo Risin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel lame. You have got nothing to feel lame about. The guys who want sex straight away will not stick around when you say that you want to get to know them first. A sweet funny guy who will respect you and wait to get to know you a while first before you jump into bed will stick around. I think that's the difference. Some people are scum so be careful on those internet dating sites. Take care and good luck!
2007-01-18 00:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by sydney77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a virgin isn't a bad thing. Really sex is over rated for the most part. There are so many diseases and things that are around sex is almost scary honestly.
When the right man comes who is ready to respect you and wait a few months you will know. And I am sure he is worth waiting for.
2007-01-17 23:57:11 · answer #6 · answered by bluebettalady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not lame to be a virgin at 26.. and way to go... but i do have to say oral sex is actual sex.. all of it is a part of sex.. just coz it didnt go in one part and did another dont mean you didnt have sex. but anyway as for waiting that can only be your call.. alittle longer wont hurt you to wait.. you have waited this long besides the right man for you is still out there you just have to let him find you.. most time all your searching dont help its when you didnt see it coming that you will find mister alrighty.. lol.. good luck
2007-01-18 00:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a decent person & cool.Dont worry,,it'll happen for you when its right & then you will realize that it was worth the wait & you will be glad that you did wait.Just be sure you didnt wait this long to give in to the wrong guy.Be choosy.
2007-01-17 23:59:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The very feeling that has creeped into your mind now states that you are ready for the go now. Hence seek a good boy who suits all your requirments and be with him. All the best.
2007-01-18 00:03:02 · answer #9 · answered by ssmindia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's good to be a virgin I'm sure you'll meet the right person sometime, there are many promiscuous people out there but the ones like you are the gems
2007-01-18 00:02:42 · answer #10 · answered by malone1423 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋