Why is she getting away with it? I'm tired of this?

Question

Pops passed away a few years ago and mom bought a new house.Mom, my grand mother(who is bedrideen and blind),me, my brother and my sister in law live in the same house.Mom allowed me to move in the meantime until i find myself an apartment since im new in the area.Cant wait to move out!!! My sister in law fakes alot,she prenteds to faint, be weak, be very sick.We took her to the hospital numerous times & doctors said she had nothing. But she keeps faking it. She also doesn't want to help out around the house. All we ask his that she cleans the kitchen and dishes. She rarely does it. She claims to do all the work, when in reality i am. I take care of mom, granny( wash and change her and feed her). I cook souper for mom, granny and I. I clean half of the house.The top part were we are.I take out the garbage,look after mom since she has health problem and cant do much work with her knees and back probls. Why is my sister in law getting away with this? what is her problem?!

Long time married folks, please give advice!!!

We are all sick of it. Plus to make it worst she always talks behind evberyone 's back and Lies a lot. I'm trying not to snap at her and try to remain cool , calm and collected

I have asked her to help out, but she never does a thing. She doesnt even want to help out with making meals ..yet she eats more than all of us in this house! Whenever i complain about the siutuation she replies i didnt ask her for her help. She constantly plays the victim and im annoyed!

Answer 1

Your sister-in-law needs a good swift kick in the A**!! I really don't like people who take advantage of others, especially family members. She gets away with what she's doing because she's allowed to. Whoever is in charge of the house, the bills, the groceries, etc. needs to tell her that she has to move out or start pulling her load. That should get her attention.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Her problem is her inlaws!

She does this because your brother needs to grow a pair.
NO way in hell would my brothers wife be able to do all that crap and he not say anything to her.
has your mother talked to your brother?
where is he when this woman freeloads off of your mother?

Your brother should intervine on behalf of the rest of your family and put her in her place.
If she still refuses, your mother (if it is her house and she does not need HIS help financially) should kick him and his wife out of her house.
(why does he have a wife and he cannot provide for her ?)
If the wife does all this fainting and crap, she probably wants some attention.
If you ignore her she might stop
but until your brother or mother say something I doubt that much will change.
I commend you for biting your tounge.
I am sure that it is hard but your mother and grandmother are very thankful to have you around and if asked that would probably gladly see her move than you.
Tell your mom what you are thinking (about moving and why) and see if she makes a decision THAT NIGHT!
My bet is that she will have a talk with your brother and someone else will be looking for a new place to call home

Answer 3

I feel you here! I know someone like that has well. I really dont have any advice for you here...but All I got to say is she's an evil *****, and will do anything to get away with everything! Continue to take care of your mother and granny....it's ur family. Once you no longer can take care of them and move about your life.....find a nice home for granny and visit as much as poss! And your mom, visit her too! And for the sister in-law ------GOOD LUCK with that one! You can not get read of her, but maybe one day it will come! And remember everything you do---god is watching you....and he see what a great job you are doing and everything! Keep ur cool with the ***** and her time will come in life, (what goes around comes around) so when shes old a cripple.....she prolly wont have anything like what u are doing for your family!

Answer 4

Her problem is she's lazy and selfish and would rather waste her life pretending to be an invalid than actually live her life.

Her excuses and comments are so classic - i hear them from a person in our family who acts just as you describe. This person does little, claims to do all the work, and then responds with anger or with "well, why didn't you ask me to help?" when confronted on their juvenile behavior.

They want the privilege of being a grownup with none of the responsibility.

Answer 5

Talk to your mom about whats going on, it is however her House and she makes the decisions or should be. If your Mom is aware of all this and allowing it, honestly not much you can do. Try looking harder for that apartment, sounds like its time to hit the road fellow. good Luck

Answer 6

Maybe you should think about asking your brother and sil to move out. It doesn't sound like a situatution where anyone could be too happy. Your anger will only build up over this and cause you serious problems.

Answer 7

Seems like she is just plain lazy and you need to talk with your brother and tell him it bothers you. What will happen to your Mom and Grandmom when you move out is a question you should ask him. If she does nothing now, she will certainly be doing nothing then.

Answer 8

the problem is you guys allow her to fool you...you tell her the dishes need to be done and that is that...she dont do it then dont feed her dinner. Someone needs to talk to her and lay down the law...tell her this is not acceptable no matter what "illness" she fakes this week_

Answer 9

You said you’re leaving there temporarily because you’re new to the area (which is understandable), but why is your brother and sister-in-law living there? And what does your brother have to say about all this?

Answer 10

your not going to change her, she avoids all the work, and believes in her mind she does all the work. she fakes illness's to get attention from everyone. she gets away with it because no one confronts her because it would really do no good. every family seems to have one just like her. she plays sick to avoid work.