I have been married for over 8 years and have a 3 yr old. He was my first everything and I got married at 21 years old. I feel as if I never loved him the way a wife should love her husband. There is no connection, chemistry, passion. My child's future is what concerns me the most and that is why I am hesitant. We thought about getting separated...but does it really help? I am at a point where I love it when he is NOT home and I dont have to deal.
2007-01-17 15:38:21 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it really depends on the two of you and the situation. In most cases, I think separation just cements the fact that the relationship is doomed. Maybe every now and then a couple who really do love each other finds that once they are separated, they realize the relationship is worth fighting for. But you open up such a mess of potential problems -- infidelity being the top one. Seems to me that you either decide to work on it, or call it quits. I'm sorry to say there are no good answers to this question. Good luck to you.
2007-01-17 15:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never done a "legal" separation with my husband. However, he is in the service. We have been married almost 8 years and I have to tell you...deployments and separation due to his job has saved our marriage on many occasions. If you do chose to separate I definitely do not encourage that you see other people. That will tank a marriage fast. There are some things that are just impossible to get over. It will be hard on your child. Make no mistake about that at all. However, if you two are fighting then that is hard on him too. You just have to weigh everything out. One thing you also need to think about is are you ready to possibly lose him. Say you two separate. You want to get back together, but he doesn't. Are you prepared for something like that. Think long and hard about your decision. Always remember. When you don't know what to do, it's better to do nothing at all. Good luck.
2007-01-17 23:47:16 · answer #2 · answered by mccmb02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I had been married for 19 years when the devil took my husband away. I was just like you then before he left. I hated his guts & didn't even want to be around him or talk to him either. I always wished he would find someone else and leave me alone. Welll.... you know what? I now wished I could go back & change all of that in the past. God got my attention and he showed me what I had lost & how I could get it back for good. Like the saying goes "You don't know what you have until it is gone" This is so TRUE!! I have given this whole situation to God now, since I had been so far away from God in the last few years. I am praying for a restored marriage and I love my husband now more than I have ever loved him. God is the only one who can give you that love back for your husband and God can give you lots of peace too. I don't worry about things or what my husband is doing anymore. My husband is on his way back home for good. I will be praying for you & your family!
2007-01-18 00:04:12 · answer #3 · answered by scolburn1961 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reconciling if you separate with him if you do not love him will not solve anything. Let him go so he can find someone that will love him, and you can find someone that you can love. It makes no sense to spend your time on earth here with someone you do not love even if you have a child together. All this will do is cause the both of you to be unhappy. Your child will realize that you are not happy as he gets older.
2007-01-17 23:43:19 · answer #4 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The vast majority of couples that seperate do not stay married. Exact numbers, I do not know, but I know it is highly likely if you seperate, it will not work out.
My ex and I decided to seperate, to see if we could work it out. Let me tell you, I found out really quick I did not want to go back. I think she realized the same thing.
My story is similar, in that I finally moved out when I realized that I liked it better when she was not around. When you get to that point, it is hard to get it back together. If you want to work it out, truly, I wouldn't seperate. You, or he, will likely not want to come back.
Of course, and not saying this is the case, if there is any sort of domestic violence or abuse, I would seperate quickly. If it has nothing to do with that, I will just say your chances of staying married drops considerable when one of the people moves out.
2007-01-17 23:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you love it when he's not home, then there's no doubt that you would be better off without him. It's probably true for your child also, who can sense your state of mind and spirit.
Take care.
2007-01-17 23:47:13 · answer #6 · answered by paula c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all why bring your child in this if you divorce its you not your son he should still have same bond with his son.Your son will need counciling but I hope you will not regret this decision,first try to work it out .Take time apart it might make your marriage stronger,and spicyer but whatever happens he will always be in communication with you cause of son.
2007-01-18 00:13:13 · answer #7 · answered by lil.sanz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not happy why stay?? Might as well be single and become a stronger person...never know maybe you two should try seperatation and see if you can work on your marriage_
2007-01-17 23:42:23 · answer #8 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋