How do you deal with?

Question

The passing of a close loved one? How do you pick yourself up and go on with your life?

My dad passed away this morning. I feel so empty and numb. I cant stand this.

Answer 1

I've been there. I lost my best friend to suicide 03/20/93. I never thought I would get over it. Time is the healer of all wounds.

R.I.P. Jackie

Edited: Sorry to hear about your dad passing away! My daughters dad passed away when she was 10. She's almost 16 now and it's still very hard for her. They were very close. Some days are better than others, but she still has moments where she's cries out in agony. Time will heal, but that pain will be there forever. Just try to focus on the memories you had and know that he will never feel pain or hurt again. He's in heaven and I believe he can still see you and be proud of you, so make him happy and be all you can be in life. Good luck.

Answer 2

SLOWLY... Deliberately. Take the time to grieve. With the understanding that recovery is a process. The thing about getting over it (whatever the it in your life happens to be) that we as American's do a poor job of recognizing is that we don't get to decide when that happens. You don't get to wake up one day and say, okay, now I'm over it. It happens, when it happens and sometimes it doesn't happen at all. Grief is a ship, but you are not it's captain, you are simply along for the ride.

At some point you will recognize the stages of grief about which so much has been written. Some will be brief and others require more reflection. You may even find yourself revisiting places you thought you had already been. Don't worry about wallowing. The reality is that time doesn't heal anything, it just gives you perspective. It is the shift in what we hold on to from the temporary sharpness of our grief to the more enduring inspiration of our memories (and the life lessons shared) that gives us peace. Closure is myth (and that's a good thing - remaining open to the legacy of our loved ones honors the life we shared).

Across the cold digital world of cyberspace my heart goes out to you dear one. Please take the time to sit back, relax and honor your loved one in the manner that is most personally and culturally appropriate for you. The meter is off.

Answer 3

I LET myself grieve. Cry until I'm all cried out. Think about that person often... remember good times.... write about my memories.

It's much easier to deal with the passing of someone whom I knew was sick and going to die.

I have experienced the suicide of 3 friends and one family member in my lifetime. The only way I've ever gotten past that kind of grieving is to shut out every memory of those people, numb myself to every thought of them until enough years have passed to not feel the immediate pain of guilt (what more could I have done... how did I miss the clues?)... and then I "visit" memories of those people only briefly.

The pain of losing someone to suicide never really goes away.

Answer 4

I have been there a couple of times, there is no easy way its painful and it hurts for a long time, my health suffered and i didn't care about any thing ESL, i almost let it consume me, you have to move on and i think that's what is so painful is that you don't want to with out that person, fond memories of wonderful time help. realizing that there are others who count on you, help pull yourself out of mourning, you will still have your bad days and good days no matter what, but with healing time, the pain subsides....my dad past in 1979 I was 17 years old. so sorry my heart goes out to you.

Answer 5

I wish I knew. After one of my relatives died, I felt forced to withdraw from my initial life style and this feeling still affects me. It depends on the person. For some, it may last longer and it affects people in various ways.

For some people, losing something or someone important to them works as a stimulant. It wakes them up and motivates them to take their life in their own hands and change it.

For others, it is just a deep precipice to fall in.

Answer 6

I must say, I dont know how I did it a couple years ago. Well, at that age, i was young and did not understand what happened, however, i remember my mom telling me about it and I started crying. I did, eventually, forget about it(however, I did not forget about the loved one) and went on with life.

Answer 7

you must do it gradually. find closure, and stay with other loved ones for support. your life cant stop because of it, as bad as it sounds. think of the good memories you shared with that loved one. yes, there will be pain still there, but over time, you will be used to the fact that they are gone, and move on. but later after their passing, memories wont hurt. remember, its okay to cry if you miss them terribly, just keep in mind, that loved one probably wouldn't want to see you hurting so bad. good luck with your journey, and our prayers are with you.

Answer 8

I have lost both parents, a brother, a daughter, a wife and I am still here - I cry alot but mostly in private. Memories are wonderful but at times they also hurt.

Answer 9

Its just time. My mom passed two years and I am just now getting my life back to normal

Answer 10

Try to remember those who are still here and who need you. Celebrate the life of that person by sharing stories about them with others.