I have heard people and friends question why the bloody hell does one marry and live life the hetersexual way if they know they are gay? I have often said it is because of denial while they tell me it is arrogance. And What do you say?
2007-01-17 14:39:48 · 14 answers · asked by walubengo 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Arrogance? Hardly!
Its nothing less or more than FEAR and in some cases LOVE. There's no reason they can't love a woman and believe in their hearts and minds they can't spend the rest of their lives with her and a happy, large family! I'm sure many, many believe this with their whole heart! However, there will be some who do it from fear of hurting their loved ones, family and out of guilt. You can't believe how difficult it is to think your letting your "world around you DOWN" in so many ways and on so many levels! The choice to marry is in some ways, easy.
Then there are those who do it for selfish reasons. IT JUST TAKES ALL KINDS IS WHAT I'M SAYING! So, please try to realize that there are genuinely good, and kind people trying to make a true and honest family life and just end up messing it up because they are only human!
2007-01-17 15:13:48 · answer #1 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think in many cases it definitely is denial and just the fear of being labeled and judged. When a gay person marries someone of the opposite sex, it's not arrogance, it is disrespectful to their new husband or wife! Although, I guess if they can manage to make it work, and they really do care about their spouse, it is their choice. My biggest problem with it, is that I think most people that choose to do this, are not satisfied with their spouse. Many start having secret affairs and in the worst case scenario get divorced. Keeping your sexuality a secret from your spouse is not only dishonest, but it is going to be very hurtful when they do find out the truth. It will also hurt their children. They could save everyone a lot of heartache and just accept themselves.
2007-01-17 15:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not that they are arrogance. If you look at what kind of job these people hiding it have, they are usually in high powered, closed minded jobs that they love. To some a way of life isn't as important as a job. And it's not really your place to judge how they choose to live. Personally my brother is gay but does not flaunt it to every one because he works with a large number of people who would not accept him if they knew. His way of making a living is on the line and I respect his choice not to show off a boyfriend. It isn't arrogance by any means, it's saving their own butts in society like the rest of us do. It's a personal choice that only they can explain. Everything here is all opinions about how other people should live their lives. That is not our area to speak for them.
2007-01-17 14:49:16 · answer #3 · answered by ~Les~ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sorry, i've got self belief "marriage" to be a Christian term, borrowed (and defined, i assume) by using the government. it is not my definition. call it a civil union, yet whilst it fairly is an abomination to the Lord, save it out of the church homes. stay the way you like. My life and my homestead would not function like that, it fairly is all. And specific, i will vote against gay marriage, and attempt to maintain this country as "Christian" as conceivable, in spite of if it fairly is purely lip service, pardon the pun.
2016-10-31 10:04:36 · answer #4 · answered by herrick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right it's denial but I still find it to be dishonest. I won't judge the acts of desperate men but some of them know they are gay and just simply don't want to face public criticism, those are the ones that seriously piss me off.
2007-01-17 16:09:38 · answer #5 · answered by Rageling 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They are too afraid to come out of the closet as they thought that it might brought disgrace to their family.. that's why they rather choose to live a heteorsexual way
2007-01-17 15:31:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say, "If they know they are gay," and that's the crucial part of your question. If they know it, it is dishonest to marry a straight person and PRETEND to them that they are straight. I would not call it arrogance.
2007-01-17 14:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by lottyjoy 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's definitely denial or trying to overcome it. Not arrogance, goodness gracious.
2007-01-17 14:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may be denial or self-hatred. They are not being true to themselves. Worse, they are creating a sham with a female that may be very hurt if he decides that he wants to live a homosexual lifestyle after all.
2007-01-17 14:47:33 · answer #9 · answered by The Gay Argentian Seal 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
They are afraid to come out of the closet, they don't want to disappoint thier parents. However, it is more painful for the wife and kids and in-laws and parents when he/she finally comes out of the closet.
I say be hosest and be yourself, you'll be a happier person in life.
2007-01-17 14:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by busyscrappin 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋