alot of times he will get so angry that he gets right in my face and doesnt shut up...and then about 1 hour later he will be like" wanna do it" ...after all the stress and anger he brings on me...I cant deal with this..he thinks I should just get over it right away well that is not always the case.
2007-01-17 14:04:17 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he wants make up sex. Dont play his game. Give him the silent treatment.
2007-01-17 14:07:28 · answer #1 · answered by chemky1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if it's turning into emotional abuse or physical abuse you can't tolerate it. Ask yourself if it's escalating. You stated he's getting up in your face, which is not really a good thing.
If he's telling you to just get over it, that's a signal he's ignoring your emotional needs. This "could" be the initial process of conditioning you for abuse, so be on the lookout. In the long run, this behavior might do quite a bit more harm.
Don't equate verbal or physical abuse with "passion." Read the book by Patricia Evans called "The Verbally Abusive Relationship," it gives signs in there to watch for. Just a heads-up in case!
There are other ways to get excitement - try sports or roller coasters. Treat your loved ones with respect and love.
2007-01-17 22:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's doing this because he views having sex with you as a bonding experience that will "heal" the stress and anger you both are feeling. Sex can be an act that brings you two closer together, and maybe that's his way of trying to apologize and make things better after you've had a heated argument, like "make up sex".
2007-01-17 22:09:13 · answer #3 · answered by xxhalloqueenxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You see, men can compartmentalize things. If they have a problem they can lock it up in a compartment in their mind until the sex is over and then take it out again and deal with it but for us women, its all one big ball of yarn isn't it? He may be getting turned on in that way but understanding the major differences about the behavior of men and women is key to a successful marriage. Get him such a book as a gift or something and it'll get him thinking.
2007-01-17 23:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by Nats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men deal with anger differently. When an argument is over for them, it's over. But I think that he may want to make love to you after an argument to feel that closeness and love again. To feel like even though you may have argued, you are still very much in love and that one argument doesn't change his love for you. That his love for you will endure even the toughest times.
2007-01-17 22:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by lil_hem_n_va 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is emotionally out of balance and out of touch. He goes from one extreme emotion to the next without considering the effects that this behavior is having on the marriage relationship. Due to his lack of self control, he uses sex to releave himself from the tension caused by the arguing. This behavior is abusive and can lead you into emotional and spiritual death.
My husband used to treat me the same way until I decided that I had enough of the mental and emotional drain. I made the choice to live the way I wanted to live and I did so by first taking care of me. I want to be loved and treated with respect and understanding toward my feelings not some sexual dumping ground. Once my husband seen how serious I was about being respected, he decided to change his atrocious ways. However, if he had decided not to change, then I would have left him. Life is too precious to waste.
My suggestion to you is to learn how to nurture yourself and walk in strength daily. Let your husband know both in words and especially in actions that this is not the way you're going to live your life. Let him know that you and your feelings are to be honored. So beautiful lady, whoever you are, let your husband know that he is to either shape up or ship out.
2007-01-17 23:56:47 · answer #6 · answered by Charvet J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some men approach sex like sports. They like all the energy it brings - have you seen them sit in front of the TV and yell at the players when they couldn't do 1/2 of what those guys do??? well, when you're all worked up, they get all hot and bothered and want that level of emotion in the bedroom...
2007-01-17 22:37:46 · answer #7 · answered by eleven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he does it for the make up sex. But maybe he gets turned on seeing you intense when you get upset. I know some guys are like that.
2007-01-17 22:19:11 · answer #8 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, is the sex after the fight really, really good? If not then tell him the arguments aren't worth it. If the sex is banging (no pun intended) then keep fighting baby. At least you know what's coming after!
2007-01-17 22:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by Arturo Amante 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Make-up sex" is a novel idea for some people, and they'll create drama just to get around to the making up.
It's a huge turn-off for some of us, requiring more time than apologies to recover from.
2007-01-17 22:09:22 · answer #10 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants sex because he wants to feel close to you most likely. My husband is the same way...after we fight he seems to want sex. Makeup sex can be very intense, and I could see how some men might get addicted to it. You have to tell him how you feel though. Don't let him force you to have sex when you don't want it. Even in marriage, that is rape.
2007-01-17 22:08:24 · answer #11 · answered by icequeen406 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋