Is it wrong for a wife to accept the fact that her husband will cheat ?

Question

I am 37 and have been married for 22 years to the same man i have always been faithfull .. in the last year I have found out that my husband has a profile in a singles chat site and that he text messages woman for their nude pictures and even has spoken to a few on the phone .. I have asked him about it and says that it is only for a thrill like watching porn ..our love making is great but I can't help but feel he is only using me to relieve himself .. am I wrong to feel used and still accepting that he will do that and still make love to me ?

Answer 1

yes...........and lord knows what he will come home and give you ........don't let him give you AIDS

Answer 2

you imagine your dishonest will make you sense by some ability vindicated in this example. It gained't. ask your self this question: what's going to i think like when I have cheated? What if that is like toothpaste and the tube? in case you squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube, and then come to a decision it became a nasty idea, are you able to position it lower back into the tube? No, for sure. dishonest is the same way. What in case you may't stay with the actual shown reality that your husband's moves have compelled you right into a position of shame and be apologetic about by technique of doing an same concern? Revenge isn't the perfect drugs, a existence properly lived is. stay your existence with the integrity he seems incapable of and if has cheated on you more effective than once, and also you assert that is been "a minimum of three cases", he will proceed to finish that see you later as you forgive him for it. you gained't forget, and that i keep in mind that you're in accordance with him for an income, and so on., yet till you want a husband which will proceed to cheat, remove him. it would want to be frustrating for a short even as, yet you may get help, and also you do not ought to settle for a mendacity canines that cheats on you. you're well worth more effective than that. promote off the trash. good success and God Bless You.

Answer 3

Do you trust that he's only spoken to them, or do you think that he has cheated on you? You can't even compare this to watching porn, these are real women he's contacting and he's crossed the line. Personally, I could never be happy in a marriage with someone who has betrayed me like that. Can you? I would talk to him again and tell him how this makes you feel. If he continues doing it, then I would say you have some choices to make. I know you've been married a long time, but that's no reason to accept this behavior. Ask yourself what makes you happy and if you can honestly be happy living like this. If you can, then I think you're selling yourself short. Good luck!

Answer 4

I think it all depends on your type of love for eachother. If you love him unconditionally then no it shouldn't for the simple fact that your love is unconditional. But if your love is conditional then yes you have a right to feel used. Whats his type of love does he love you unconditonally or does he put conditions on his? And can it really be called true love if the two of you put conditions on your love? Then you got to look at nature also, mainly most male mammals seek as many mates as possible. The only reason man has come to monagomy is because his brain out ways his instinct "for the most part anyway". Then you got the icecream theory which is this. Say you love chocalate icecream eat it all the time. And you haven't had any other icecream for the last twenty two years. And all of a sudden you find a neat new icecream parlor ,and they have all kinds of new flavors. Ones you have never tasted. Would you not be tempted to try them, maybe even try them. Doesn't mean you don't love chocalate anymore. But hey mint chocalate chip sounds pretty damn good. Then you have to think this also. Being a human and having a large brain, we should be able to control our urges and our instincts. And if he really loves you why would he want to hurt you? For we all know we never want to hurt the ones we love. So your question has many aspects behind it and therefore it is complicated to answer. It all depends on your mind set beliefs and moral struture. What are you comfortable with? If you can handle that fact then who is to say your wrong. If you can't then you have a right to demand he stop or to leave him it is entirely up to you, and I wish you luck.

Answer 5

It is not wrong for you to feel that way. You need to talk to him about this and let him know how it makes you feel. Ask him would he accept that kind of behavior from you? How would he feel if you were doing those things? Is he having phone sex with them? If he is, then I don't know how the two of you feel about cheating, but to me phone sex is sex and it is still considered cheating.

If you both are willing to talk about this and work together, then you might want to consider therapy and/or counseling. It sounds like he could have a problem, possibly a sex addiction or cheating.

You should stand up for yourself and don't accept less if it doesn't make you happy. It isn't too much to ask your husband to acknowledge you and to be there for you! He is your husband and
he needs to act like it! I know that sometimes you feel confused and not sure of what to do or think. But you deserve to be treated better than that and if he truly loves you he needs to show you that he does.

The point is that there is a problem that the two of you need to work on. If you don't work together on this then it will cause even more problems in the future. So both of you decide whether you want to work on this. You should see counseling either way.

Remember yourself!

Answer 6

No!, you would be wrong if you were accepting of this type of behavior. I`m sure you do feel used because of the intrusion of other parties into your intimate life...without your consent...this is no different than actual cheating and if he has spoken to them on the phone then he has probably hooked up with them as that is the next logical progression....nobody calls a porn star they see in a flic...porn has similar effects on a relationship when it is not accepted by both partners. These are all excuses and rationalization...don`t stand for it if it unacceptable to you.

Answer 7

#1 YOU ARE NOT WRONG FOR THE WAY YOU FEEL

#2 WHAT is your husbands problem??? He is LYING to you he is obviously bored with the marriage thats why he is getting a thrill(which is really cheating) from talking and texting other women.

#3 YES he IS using you to relieve himself.

#4 YOU need to ASK him why he is really doing what he is doing. You need to find out what is going on in the marriage that is causing him to be bored. Sounds like your marriage needs to be spiced up. What areas do you two need to work on to keep it interesting? How about a vow renewal? Its time after 22 years of marriage.

#5 PRAY for your marriage and you two need to SERIOUSLY talk. Dont accuse him(this will cause him to not talk to you and will make him angry) of anything just ask him questions.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

Looking at photographs of women is harmless.

E mailing and talking to women is cheating!

Having a profile in a singles chat site is LYING to women looking for a man to have a relationship with. He is giving them false hope.

Talking to other women, unless you both know them, is cheating!
Including the phone.

Buy Net Nanny and block all the sites he is going to. Including porn. He needs a time out. Change your phone where you block certain people from calling you.

Answer 9

You are not wrong for feelin used. It appear to me that the ladies on line turns him on and since he can't get it from them....he gets it from you. It is good that the sex is good between the both of you but If it was me, I couldn't help but to feel a lil discomfort. You guys have been married for a long time and I congratulate the both of you on that success but why would he want to ruin yall relationship with doing such a thing. I will close by sayin this, if you are comfortable with what he is doing and how he is doing it..go ahead and go ahead with whatever. But if you are upset about the entire situation, you need to address the issue with him NOW. Good Luck. And what is up with these middle age men going to a mid life crisis by going back to child hood???? Somebody please tell me!!!!

Answer 10

You are not wrong for feeling used, because that is exactly what is happening. However, you are wrong for having such low self esteem. You deserve better than that kind of treatment. If I were you I would make him chose. You or that crap he is doing on the computer. If it's any consolation....I am you. I am in a very similar situation and gave that very ultimatum. He is staying off the sites. He knows if I find him on them again...he is gone. Take care.

Answer 11

Hmmm, the difference is that you are on to him & you think he needs to be perfect or you are at fault. How many women do you think are out there that had/have unfaithful husbands & they don't/didn't know about it & stayed faithful & married? Yes, it'd be easier if you didn't know cuz now you feel an obligation to make things right. The bible says one may divorce b-cuz of marital unfaithfulness, it didn't say it was a requirement. I'd try to find some tactful ways to lay pressure on him that it's not okay & you're gonna give him heat about it til he quits. Good Luck! {hug!}
He's not only using you to relieve himself. The bible says a man's body is not just his own & neither is a wife's body just their own. 1 Cor 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over her own body, but the wife does.
He is being one in body with only you like he's suppose to when he feels amorous. Prob is he is unfaithful in his thoughts. (which I presume with our overly sexual society & temptations that it's a struggle for most men.) God searches the hearts & minds of men & he will have to answer to God about his unfaithfulness in his mind. Don't let someone tell you you have a prob or low self-respect if you stay with him. God is the judge of where his mind roams. Not you or them. As God is the judge of what goes thru your mind. Be merciful, as how much mercy you show is how much will be shown to you. Anytime we get irritated with someone's action we should self-examine ourselves to see if we are guilty of it, too. And then repent. Confess to God thru prayer & ask for forgiveness. A righteous heart is one that isn't numb to sin but sensitive to it & allows for it to be convicted of sin onto edification. God Bless!