Your boss has called you into his office. Can you write an amusing paragraph or 2 that includes.....?

Question

these quotes?
1. I don't have enough time to tell you what's wrong with corduroy.
2. I'm on a constant diet of human suffering.
3. I'm not listening anymore, doo dah, doo dah...
4. It's like when the Russians boycotted the Olympics. It diminished the whole event.
5.That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you extravaganza!
6. Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick, they're
extinct.

Answer 1

'Brown boots, brown boots I ask ye' I was reminded of this ancient line from a song when Peter Jones turned up to accompany me into the boss' office where it would be a straight head-to-head to choose a new deputy manager. But not only was he wearing brown boots, he had on green corduroy trousers and a tweed jacket. Not to mention the blue roll-neck sweater.

While I stood there in my best charcoal grey suit, white shirt and dark tie and shoes that you could see your face in, I still felt unconfortable for Pete. He was my favourite colleague at work and we had in fact joined the company the same day.

'Peter' I whispered outside the boss' door 'I don't have enough time to tell you what's wrong with corduroy, but for Heaven's sake, brown blinking boots. Whatever were you thinking this morning when you dressed'. 'Look Pad' he replied, also in a whisper 'I'm on a constant diet of human suffering, what with a six week old baby crying all night, and a wife who wants to have another child immediately. I haven't time to think'. 'Look' I began to plead 'I'll cover for you with the boss, go home and change'. 'Sorry Pad' Peter seemed resigned 'No offense, but I'm not listening anymore, doo dah, doo dah, doo dah day'.

The secretary called us in to the office where the boss looked up at both of us, gave us the once over, but said not a word. A sudden deep thought came to my mind 'It's like when the Russians boycotted the Olympics. It diminished the whole event'. The boss invited us to sit down and I awaited his first question.

'You know something Peter' the boss spoke slowly 'I like it. You see Patrick' he spoke to me 'but that's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you extravaganza! You end up getting the sympathy vote'. I had to think hard on that one moment but could not fully understand the point.

'Let me put it another way, Patrick' he said slowly 'Is is, like, for dinosaur emergencies? 'Help! come quick, they're extinct. You are not on my line of thought, are you Patrick' he asked.

'Not quite Sir' I answered in all honesty. 'Obviously not' he replied, then continued 'I know both of you are capable of holding down the position offered, so I have to make a choice. Well, it is obvious that you Patrick made every effort to impress me with your manner of dress. Excellent. Whilst you Peter appear to be ready to go phesant shooting in the country. Also excellent, I might add. You see Patrick, Peter is well ahead of you on this one'. He paused when he saw the surprise on my face. However, he continued 'It is for that reason I give the job to Peter. You see Pad, from next month we take on some major farm equipment suppliers and we'll be dealing with a great many farm workers from now on'.

'Congratulation Peter' the boss stood up and shook his hand.

As we returned to the main office I congratulated Peter too, but asked 'Did you know about the new accounts Pete'. 'Of course not Pad' he replied and I fully believed him. 'To be honest' he added looking over his shoulder 'the baby spewed all over my good suit, the wife had taken my only black shoes to the repairer and she hasn't done any white washing for weeks. This is all that I had to wear'. He beamed his old reliable smile and casually said 'Come on, I'll buy you lunch and a pint, if you can lend me a twenty...........................'.

Answer 2

Hello Mr. or Mrs. Boss. I don't have enough time to tell you what's wrong with corduroy. I'm on a constant diet of human suffering. I'm not listening anymore, doo dah, doo dah.... It's like when the Russians boycotted the Olympics. It diminished the whole event..That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you extravaganza! Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick, they're extinct.

Answer 3

You: You wanted to see me, boss?
Boss: Yes, as you know, I'm on a constant diet of human suffering and need you to take off your pants.
Y: What? But they're my favorite corduroy pants!
B: I don't have enough time to tell you what's wrong with corduroy.
Y: I'm not going to take them off!
B. You see? You're disrupting things. It's like when the Russians boycotted the Olympics. It diminished the whole event.
Y: I'm not listening anymore, doo dah, doo dah.
B: So why do you insist on keeping your pants on? Is it, like, for Dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick, they're extinct!"
Y: That's a part of the whole, you know, them not-liking-you extravaganza!

Answer 4

Sunshine my love. My heart pounds and I am left speechless that you would ask me to do your homework. I know you may be young at heart, but your life will be total chaos if you expect your dreams to come true without doing your own homework. I know you may not think I am worth it, but I have your best interest at heart.

Answer 5

Nope

Answer 6

What the hell is wrong with you?