alittle advice please?

Question

ok heres my thing i am with a guy weve been together 5 yrs and we have a 2yr old and another due in 2 wks, here lately he has been very mean, name calling cussing at me for nothing, he came in the bathroom while i was in the tub got down in my face yelling and stuff wouldnt stop till he made me cry then he popped of with yeah cry like you always do. and when i try to talk to him about anything he usually ignores me or says he dont give a *uck. and here lately it bothers me when he looks at porn i guess my belly and all has me a little unsure about my self, and he was griping at me about me not wanting him to look at porn especially with me right there. we got in to an arguement and he was like this and that well ill just leave then. i am thinking he is either seeing someone else or he has just totally stopped carring about me. what does it sound like to you? im ok with out him i think im just nervous about going threw everything alone my parents live out of state. any advice please

Answer 1

Look don't be nervous about going threw everything alone. If you have to go back home to your parents until you have the baby and let them help you until you can get back on your feet. I have been in this same situation and things will not change with him at all. He is seeing someone else cause like they say the guilty one all ways speak first. DOn't let him make your self esteem go down, if he would get his butt off the top of his head he will see that he has a loving family but instead he rather be a buthole rather than try to help you around the house. Don't stress yourself out about this at all he is trying to find a reason to leave tell him you know what pack your things and go. Call mom and tell her you coming home. You can do a whole lot better than him trust me. There are many guys out there who would love to be with you and take care of you and your kids, he is too ungrateful to see that he has a special woman at home he will see and notice once you have left him and whoever he seeing starts to do him the same way he is doing you. You are beautiful inside and out he just too blind to see it. Pick up your pride pack your bags and go where you do not have to go thru all the stress. Love yourself take care of yourself and your kids it will be hard at first but get help from family until you are able to get on track. Love your kids they need you if he wants to leave let him go and when he realize he let the best woman he had and will never find another woman like you he gonna try to convince you to come back but give him the boot. There are plenty guys out there who will treat you like the Queen that you are. There are many single parents out there if they can do it you can too you have to believe in yourself and pray.

Answer 2

First of all, no one should ever treat someone they love with such violent outburst, especially someone who is bringing the most precious gift you can give him into this world. Having said that, it sounds to me like he wants out. He doesn't want to be responsible for another child or a family......you didn't say how old you guys are, but I am guessing around early 20's if not younger. Most guys at this age are not up for the responsibility and still have a desire to be single and free. You definitely should not bring another child into this household and should shield the 2 year old from his behavior. At a calm time, you need to ask him if he wants out and tell him how you feel about him leaving and what kind of environment you want to raise your children in. If you think you can do it on your own and be okay, which you can, because I have with 2 and one on the way. Good luck.

Answer 3

well for starters, people get frustrated without sex lol seriously. But none of this is, IN ANY WAY, your fault. Him acting mean and all, and watching porn doesnt necessarily mean he has someone else, eventhough it might feel like that. People just have different ways of dealing with frustrations, I know it's hard for you to talk to him (been there done that) when you probably try to bring something up, he turns it all around on you and gets pissed off and pretty much blows you off. What I think is that something is bothering him, and you have to try to get him to tell you what it is....dont get mad with him or start yelling or stuff like that......you wont fix a problem by creating another. But please dont let him yell at you....demand some respect....verbal abuse is not healthy....not for you or your baby. And last suggestion...try couples therapy....dont give up on your relationship until you can say, "I TRIED IT ALL" then you can walk away with your head up high :D

Good Luck

Answer 4

wow, you have many answers there - he should not be treating you this way, even if he is frustrated or stressed. Sounds like you both need some counseling or a mediator to help you both understand how to communicate without cursing, yelling, etc. Once the baby is here, you might want to look into getting some help for your relationship. oh, & no matter what is happening - he should NOT be looking at porn, ever! and YOU should not allow it either! and please don't fight, yell, curse in front of the kids! Try to solve your relationship problems, get married & do things correctly. ok? Hope it works out.

Answer 5

He may not necessarily be seeing someone else, but aggravated with the situation, as odd as it sounds. Men are weak and they don't like to show it, hence his anger issues. My boyfriend is the same way. Every time I voice a concern, instead of being a man and talking about it even though he doesn't want to, he's just quick to say that I should move out. In your situation, with the baby on the way and the one you already have, as hard as it may be, try to act like you are ok. The more he sees you weak and upset, the better it will make him feel for not having to show those emotions himself. It's harder for you because (obviously) your body is going through so much with being pregnant and you already have another child to care for, but gaining the strength to stand your ground will do you nothing but good. As scared as you must be when you want to stand up for yourself and say something to him, getting the courage to do it will show him that he has got to stop messing around with you the way he is. I recently started standing up for myself more when my boyfriend acts like a complete jerk and he's a lot nicer to me now--it's great. lol. I don't think that your boyfriend will just up and leave you, it's just that the situation needs some time to pan out. Although he won't show it, it's hard for him too.

Answer 6

Just come out and ask him. If he is still being a jerk, then leave. Don't assume anything because you don't know what is going on with him until there is some kind of proof, but it doesn't really matter because he is being insensitive to you and you deserve much better. Don't let any man treat you badly. Be strong and stand your ground. Good luck.

Answer 7

Keep in mind that your hormones are totally up side down. BOTH of you have nerves about another baby that is almsot here. HE needs to be ALOT more understanding. howevr, it sounds like he has some growing up to do. Hopefully this isn't an omen of the future...What to do is another question...Do you have somebody you can go stay with till the baby gets here??? You really don't need the stress of this clown doing this to you. Otherwise, It sounds like you stuck.

Answer 8

You don't deserve to be treated like that.
Try talking to him, he could just be feeling the pressures of another child coming or it could be someone else. Maybe he'll let out the real reasons for his attitude. Tell him you will not be treated like that and have a bag packed up to demonstrate your serious.
If he doesn't chill out and start treating you right leave, that's no place for a child to grow up.

Answer 9

Honey, this is abuse. (Abuse comes in many forms - not necessarily hitting.)

If it's at all possible, have your family come out to you when you deliver, or go "home" to deliver your baby. While you are there, consider carefully whether you want to raise your children in a household where their mother is screamed at by their father. It WILL have a lasting and negative impact on the kids, as well as your own self-esteem.

Answer 10

I suspect he's seeing someone else. He makes you feel insignificant and he is belittling you. You should get out of this relationship before he starts physically abusing you. You may want to move back with your parents so they can help you back on your feet again. Good luck sweetie!