asking married women a question?

Question

my wife and i used to be very romantic together. after being married a year, it seems she no longer looks at me with that look that I'm all that anymore. she used to cry when i'd leave in the morning. I also love to tell her that I love her and that i miss her every day. when i say these things now i can almost feel the attraction for me drop in her. it's weird. these are the things she used to love to hear now it's like yeah...yeah...yeah i know you love me. is this normal for marriage? i'd hate to think she doesn't love me as much as she used to. maybe she's just used to me and content however i do know some women that once they have you, you get boring to them. how can i tell this is not the case. i used to be everything to her now it's not the case but i'm the same guy.

Answer 1

Honestly, it's not lollipops & roses all the time. The relationship is becoming more comfortable and you can't expect a "rush" of love chemistry all the time. There could be tons of reasons for her apparent lack of interest, however...and the only way to know is to communicate with her.

In the meantime, try some new activities together: sports, martial arts, climbing, roller-blading, ceramics ...any types of classes, massage ...whatever...to get some freshness back into the relationship. The local community colleges and Y's have lots of courses that are low-cost.

Go to a comedy club together, laugh more, play silly games, invite other couples over for cooking nights or poker nights. Try to schedule something to look forward to each couple of weeks. Maybe she wants you to show some inventiveness.

It's also part her responsibility too. Make sure there are no underlying resentments brewing.

Answer 2

I am a married woman of about eight years. I have to tell you that this is completely normal from my experience. A marriage goes through "stages". Every stage is a little different, and you learn more and more about marriage as time goes on. For now, If I were you, I would give her some space but make sure she knows that you love her and only her. Also make yourself feel better and more secure by dressing up and looking better. Make sure you still got it. She will see you do too and sparks may start to fly again. Also, you might want to send her some flowers while youre giving her the space.

Answer 3

She actually used to cry in the mornings when you left for work? Wow. That’s a little over the top in my opinion (assuming you were returning that night and not being sent off to anther city/state/country for an extended period of time). Of course, that has nothing to do with your question but I just couldn’t help commenting on it :)

I agree with IceQueen—she’s probably feeling smothered. Ask her and let her know that you want her to be honest in the answer (otherwise she may pretty it up just to keep from hurting your feelings). If that’s the case, back off. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you or she’s bored with you. It just means she’s feeling smothered.

Speaking merely for myself, and I’ve been married 17 years and have a happy, healthy marriage, if my husband told me numerous times a day that he loved me, it would start to drive me crazy after a while, and I’d start responding the same way she is (with “yeah, I know you do”). I don’t want or need hubby to tell me over and over again that he loves me (but I do need to hear it from time to time) because I KNOW he loves me and because he does things to SHOW it (which to me is much more important that the words—anyone can say the words, but that doesn’t mean that they mean the words)—not necessarily romantic things but things like showing concern when I’m not feeling well, helping with the house and kids, showing that he values my opinions by asking my advice and listening to what I have to say, etc.

Answer 4

When is the last time you asked her out on a date? Or supprised her with flowers or a call in the middle of the day?

Sometime in marriage we forget how hard we worked during our "courtship" to work on the relationship and everything just falls into a routine. Go to work, come home, watch tv.. exc

Try to bring back some of the flair in the relationship, think of things that u used to do to make her smile and maybe are missing now.

Could be a lot of things here and im just suggesting one solution. You may want to talk to her and tell her how your feeling and listen to what she has to say about it.

Good Luck

Answer 5

If she's confident in how the relationship is going, then by all means she should go for it. Instead of getting a ring, how about a nice engagement watch? It doesn't have to be super expensive; perhaps in the $100 range. Heck, Queen Victoria proposed marriage to Prince Albert, but that was because she was a queen and he was a prince so it was a status thing.

Answer 6

Maybe she feels a bit smothered. Talk to her. Ask her how she feels. You have to communicate. If she gets angry, so be it, but at least you tried to find out what is going on. If she didn't love you as much, she wouldn't stay married to you. I know that personally I am not the most romantic woman and my husband thinks I am a bit weird because of it, but not all women love the love stuff...if you know what I mean. Good luck.

Answer 7

You and her both have to do the things that you did before you got married. (sometimes we get caught up in our jobs, and tend to fail keeping our marriage at a spark) Spice up somethings. Yea I have been with my husband for 12 years: married for five: I tell you no matter how long I have been married to him my love for him is just as strong as the day we fell in love. Just because you get married, doesn't mean things are suppose to come to a end. Now is the time to explore so many other wonderful things, with that one person. There should be no boundaries.

Answer 8

The best way to answer your question is to ask your wife. Talk to her about the way she now reacts to you. Get her to tell you why she is different after a year of marriage. It may be something that you can fix easily. Who knows, she just might be waiting for you to ask her what wrong. To answer your other question, no that is not normal in marriage. Usually a couple becomes closer, not distant.

Answer 9

It's not normal to fall out of love while you are still supposed to be on the honeymoon. I do have a suggestion, maybe she's treating you this way because you are married and she knows you will be there for her every day (she might have some psychological problems) ---try not being so vocal; plan some time to hang out with your buddies; don't always be available for her....this might catch her attention.

Answer 10

Maybe you two should have a long talk. I've been married 3 years now and it's getting better every day! Get her to talk about her feelings or maybe see a marriage counselor.