Why do people lie to their kids and tell them they can sing?

Question

ok just say American Idol and all these bad singers. There family and friends tell them how good they are and they suck. I am a horrible singer and my mother and father told me that you have many talent but singy is not one of them. i think parents should tell there kids before the go make a but of themsevles. what do you think

Answer 1

Love is blind.

Answer 2

Our society says it's okay to lie for good reasons as long as nobody gets hurt. For example, telling a child that Santa Claus is real is a lie, but it's to make Christmas more exciting and arguably nobody gets hurt by the lie.

In the case of American Idol, I think some parents believe that if they kill their child's dreams with a negative comment, the child might give up on their dream entirely. Singing is - after all - a learned skill that one can develop over time. I recently heard audio of Brad Paisley as a little boy singing at the Grand Ol' Opery. He was horrible! But look at him now.

Also, I think some parents are just poor judges of what constitutes good singing and bad singing. If the parents happen to be as tone deaf as their child, they might truly believe their child is a decent singer when in fact they aren't.

I agree with you, however, that friends and/or family should step in and say, "American Idol is the big league -- I don't think you're quite ready yet!"

Answer 3

Ask a room of three year olds - "Who here can sing (or dance or draw)?" and almost every hand in the room goes up. Ask a room of 10 year olds the same thing and there are half as many hands. Ask a room of adults - and very few hands go up. What happens to our confidence? Somebody shoots us down. For me - it was not my parents but my siblings who told me I couldn't sing. And so - I stopped for YEARS!!! I started acting as a kid - but nobody told me I couldn't do it - so I continued. Finally - in college - some singing roles came along and I was very timid about it. But I took a few lessons - and boom - the leads were mine. My siblings were WRONG!!

Some people have a lot more raw talent when it comes to singing (or dancing or drawing) - but these things can ALL be LEARNED. I am a parent of a 12 year old girl - and I have never discouraged her from singing. I know she's flat on some notes - and sings with a nasal quality sometimes - and I'll work with her, lovingly, to improve these things - but I would never ever discourage her from "making a joyful noise" - because singing is good for your soul.

If - when she's 16 - she starts to express an interest in American Idol - or even before that - if she starts to talk about auditioning for things that require singing. I will work with her - and let her hear herself - and ask her if she thinks she's ready. I refuse to tell my kid that she sucks at something if she's working hard on it. I won't tell her she's fabulous either - but I'll let her hear herself and make her own decisions. Parents don't ever want to discourage their kids.

As for all of the crappy singers on American Idol - the reason we see them is because the producers think we WANT to see them - probably because it makes us feel better abour ourselves. (very sick - but pretty much true) The way the auditions are held is that everybody shows up - and there are judges (not Simon, Paula and Larry) out on the football field or wherever you're waiting - who ask you to sing - and decide if you are moving in front of the three real judges or not. Now - how do those horrible singers get past the first judging process? It's because the producers want them on there - for entertainment. They use the non-talents to make fun of them - and America loves it - and keeps tuning in. Very sad.

Answer 4

I am a mommy and I told my daughter whoa girl you can not sing please don't and so she knows she can't sing, didn't stop her from joining the church choir. My son he can sing a little bit and I tell him he can sing to me whenever he wants. I think that it is good for thier self esteem and ability to talk in front of people. If you can sing in front of people and not be shy even if you sound like a screeching peacock (ever hear one) then you really hold yourself in high regard. Thank an honest mommy. As for those people on American Idol, you all have short memories (quit listening to the news) the really bad singers say they know they are bad but hope to be in the out takes. The crying teenagers are because they parents didn't want to hurt thier feelings and tell them the truth. They waited until Randy, Paula and Simon told them they suck. Now that should be considered child abuse.

Answer 5

Most parents lie to their kids because their kids are young and it would be just plain mean to tell them they suck. Imagine telling a five year that his drawing looks horrible. He will run to his room crying. I see what you are saying about the American Idol thing. Once a person gets to a certain age, parents should tell their kid whether or not they are good, but it can be difficult for parents because they do not want to hurt their child's feelings and feel that if they say something, their child will hate them.

Answer 6

American Idol is painful to watch. Even for a few minutes.
It is so bad. Mediocre talent.
I remember one girl singing ..."These boots are made for walking".....with air humping cowboys twirling imaginary lassos dancing in the background.
Who choreographed this thing?,,,MEL BROOKS?

Below a certain age most kids sound like little ETHEL MERMANS...the boys and the girls.

Answer 7

Perhaps it's just a question of the child being at least able to sing better than the parent. Also, most parents are a little biased when it comes to their own child, so they may seem like good singers to their parents, but not-so-good singers to the rest of us.

Answer 8

Maybe the parents really do think their kids have talent. (Yeah, I don't see why, either.) Or they think they can let Simon Cowell or whoever be "bad cop" for them. Or the kid is just really, really, really sensitive. I don't get it, either.

My mom tells me I have a good voice, but also tells me where I go wrong (a lot!), and I've actually won karaoke contests, so I'm probably not horrible.

Answer 9

I agree. Most parents never want to hurt their kids so that is why they tell little white lies. I know people with kids so ugly they could make a blind kid cry but yet they tell them they are beautiful and not just on the inside.

Answer 10

I agree, I understand that parents like to be supportive and love their children regardless, but you should never lie to your kids especially if you notice that they dont have a certain talent...dont encourage them in something you know they probably get laughed at later on for!

Answer 11

i think if i had kids I would have them trying so many different things they liked so that they wouldnt feel that they only had one talent to prove themselves. Then I could be honest. With all those different things they cant be horrible at all of them so its a win win situation.